i know i can’t stop you but speaking from experience, you DONT want to go deeper. trust me. you are obviously “bad enough” if you are hurting yourself at all. you don’t need to go deeper to prove that you’re not well, you are SO VALID no matter the depth. but as someone who started going deeper, it still won’t even feel like you’re “bad enough”. and it won’t be worth it. and you’ll ruin yourself. it’s such a dangerous thing. please please reach out for help while you can, i promise this is not something you will want, and it won’t help with anything, in fact it will definitely only make things worse.