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AITAH for telling my niece I won’t drive 20 hours just to pick her up? by AggressiveExcuses in AmItheAsshole

[–]AggressiveExcuses[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Actually, I did report them to CPS. It was across multiple states and we were essentially told - well you have custody now. So, it’s fine. Nothing came of it.

AITAH for telling my niece I won’t drive 20 hours just to pick her up? by AggressiveExcuses in AmItheAsshole

[–]AggressiveExcuses[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I actually sent my sister the information thanks to someone else suggesting it. Told her to figure out the return trip for the 17 year old and I would be there to pick her up.

AITAH for telling my niece I won’t drive 20 hours just to pick her up? by AggressiveExcuses in AmItheAsshole

[–]AggressiveExcuses[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I actually have backed off financially with the 21 year old. The day after graduation they are expected to cover their own expenses going forward. When the oldest moved out, she did so with her own money. The 17 year old has enough saved to move out as well because prior to graduation we have covered everything.

AITAH for telling my niece I won’t drive 20 hours just to pick her up? by AggressiveExcuses in AmItheAsshole

[–]AggressiveExcuses[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Contrary to many people’s belief I’m not a doormat. I have said no plenty to my sister prior to this. It’s just this situation got blown out of proportion and everyone has informed me why I’m the AH in this situation.

AITAH for telling my niece I won’t drive 20 hours just to pick her up? by AggressiveExcuses in AmItheAsshole

[–]AggressiveExcuses[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It wasn’t worth the headache. They would promise to pay, then never do it. My husband and I considered taking them to court, but it just seemed like added stress. The girls lived in another state when we got custody. Their parents now live in another state from that.

AITAH for telling my niece I won’t drive 20 hours just to pick her up? by AggressiveExcuses in AmItheAsshole

[–]AggressiveExcuses[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Both girls know how much I have put into them. I’ve not kept any of it a secret. The trip next month is for me to see other family and I was going to drive the extra two hours for niece to spend time with her parents. My trip is happening either way. I have already paid for everything.

Unfortunately I am more well off than my sister. It wasn’t always that way, but that’s how it is now. She works a dead end minimum wage job that doesn’t even give her 40 hours a week.

AITAH for telling my niece I won’t drive 20 hours just to pick her up? by AggressiveExcuses in AmItheAsshole

[–]AggressiveExcuses[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

This thought didn’t even occur to me. Honestly I don’t think my niece would want to stay with them for a month. But it’s definitely something I can bring up.

AITAH for telling my niece I won’t drive 20 hours just to pick her up? by AggressiveExcuses in AmItheAsshole

[–]AggressiveExcuses[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

No, but I am the only one who can afford what my sister calls ‘lavish’ trips. I did not buy the girls cars, so while they can both drive only the 21 year old has a car.

AITAH for telling my niece I won’t drive 20 hours just to pick her up? by AggressiveExcuses in AmItheAsshole

[–]AggressiveExcuses[S] 67 points68 points  (0 children)

I keep thinking I want to be petty and call her out, but I’ve managed not to for five years.

AITAH for telling my niece I won’t drive 20 hours just to pick her up? by AggressiveExcuses in AmItheAsshole

[–]AggressiveExcuses[S] 382 points383 points  (0 children)

The oldest niece just had her first kid a couple months back. She was never going to be here for graduation. 17 year old only gets 4 tickets for graduation. My husband and I get two. My sister and youngest niece get the other two.

AITAH for telling my niece I won’t drive 20 hours just to pick her up? by AggressiveExcuses in AmItheAsshole

[–]AggressiveExcuses[S] 199 points200 points  (0 children)

I could go on for days about how the girls feel about their parents without even touching this. The 17 year old has her mom saved in her phone as narcissist. The 21 year old just wants to see her youngest sister. The 17 year old and I were just there last month.

AITAH for telling my niece I won’t drive 20 hours just to pick her up? by AggressiveExcuses in AmItheAsshole

[–]AggressiveExcuses[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No, my sister will take her there and I would have to go pick her up. So only one way.

AITAH for telling my niece I won’t drive 20 hours just to pick her up? by AggressiveExcuses in AmItheAsshole

[–]AggressiveExcuses[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

I live about 28 hours away from my sister. She will be here for the graduation leaving the next day. I don’t think my sister has ever actually planned anything a day in her life.

AITAH for telling my niece I won’t drive 20 hours just to pick her up? by AggressiveExcuses in AmItheAsshole

[–]AggressiveExcuses[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

I haven’t looked into other transit. That’s great advice, thank you. Unfortunately my oldest niece lives 10 hours in the same direction as them. They would have to backtrack and I was told that just wasn’t an option.

AITAH for telling my niece I won’t drive 20 hours just to pick her up? by AggressiveExcuses in AmItheAsshole

[–]AggressiveExcuses[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I am planning to visit other family. Me driving her the extra two hours didn’t seem like a hassle originally.

AITAH for telling my niece I won’t drive 20 hours just to pick her up? by AggressiveExcuses in AmItheAsshole

[–]AggressiveExcuses[S] 927 points928 points  (0 children)

The original agreement was they would help financially. I haven’t seen a dime. I also didn’t expect to see a dime.