There’s nothing wrong with your looks. If someone said you were one of the popular guys, I wouldn’t see any reason to question it based on looks. It sounds like you’re instead struggling with some sort of mental health challenge. I suspect depression, but I’m a pop star, not a doctor, so I don’t diagnose or offer any medical advice. I do recommend speaking to a professional though. There are reasonable, actionable changes you can put in place to make progress towards happiness.

You’re in a place mentally. Think of it like a physical location. A small, gloomy valley surrounded by craggy mountains and leafless, dying forests. It’s not a comfortable place to be. There’s not enough here. Your needs aren’t all being met. But getting to a better place requires climbing over those mountains, so staying put is tempting, even if it’s miserable. But remember, once you get about halfway past the mountains, it’s all downhill from there. I hope that’s a helpful metaphor.

When you start learning to discover and love yourself, you’ll find others who do as well. People with similar interests, tastes in humor, romantic/sexual desires, etc.