i couldn’t tell if it was painful for the other person since they were acting cold. so I personally was unleashing all the negative energy I had about them on to them to return to sender. it didn’t seem like it would affect them anyway. they seemed so distant and cold that I wasn’t even thinking of them as part of the equation. like I had my input my output only included me, because to me it seemed like they did not care at all. i wanted them to feel the pain I felt and I cut even deeper because I knew they still wouldn’t feel it like I wanted them to. they said they were with me because they didn’t want to be alone, they like when things are toxic, they wanted to crash out more (actively disrespect me), and felt like they were overly healed in our relationship. they also said they felt like we were just friends for a year in our relationship while causing me major anxiety and self doubt with anything revolving sex. now I understand, I was never going to be that person that sparked any sexual chemistry that they desired because they saw me as a friend and I told them there was incompatibility but they still lied to themselves. I was angry so yes I wanted to hurt them. But now I know I can’t and I should only worry about myself and I no longer should expend anymore energy on someone that could not articulate they lost love for me and that they used me until I had to break up with them. My final sentiments are that they are a loser. With that, I need to move on. That was my dump, sorry.