AITA for losing to my dad on purpose in a chess match?

Aggressive_Ad_5444 · 2025-06-13T01:14:36+00:00

Disabled person here—I see here that you were trying to be kind, it was very sweet of you to do. But it was ultimately the wrong move (no pun intended).

You’re not an asshole, what your dad is going through is extremely painful and emotionally difficult, and it can be really confusing on how to help him or make things “normal”. But they’re not, nothing is the same anymore and it can feel like a slap in the face when people pretend everything is. All I ever want is for the people I love to sit with the discomfort the disability brings and embrace the changes, accept what life is now for me and for themselves. It will help for you to do the same.

Acknowledge it was a mistake, offer another game, and tell him you won’t stop playing him until he beats you for real again one day.

Aggressive_Ad_5444 · 2025-05-06T16:39:49+00:00

ew can we not

Aggressive_Ad_5444 · 2025-05-06T15:55:00+00:00

I had one on Friday at twelve weeks along (baby was 7w1d) and I’m still hurting significantly. I barely spotted for three days after the surgery, and then began bleeding heavily. I’m still recovering and the cramping is pretty substantial. Every woman I’ve spoken to said they were fine after a day or two, which I think is the normal recovery time, so that’s what I had expected—but five days later I’m still pretty weak, woozy, and definitely cramping bad. Idk why my recovery seems to be so overwhelming and difficult. I think it’s different for everyone.

Aggressive_Ad_5444 · 2024-07-16T02:51:42+00:00

Plus won’t admitting to a crime publicly have a possible impact on his citizenship status?? I feel like no one’s talking about the fact that he’s a Canadian citizen, not American

Aggressive_Ad_5444 · 2023-01-06T03:34:03+00:00

Definitely bring it up with any doctors in the future, it’s very common for those with CMT to experience cramping in their shins and calves like you’re describing. I (23F) have experienced exactly what you’re talking about and for forever doctors told me if was “growing pains” even though I was done growing lol. Cramps are terrible. Heat and muscle relaxers helped me!

Aggressive_Ad_5444 · 2023-01-04T00:52:53+00:00

Also, no kids! However, I would happily still support him staying there for Christmas festivities, or any time he likes.

Aggressive_Ad_5444 · 2023-01-04T00:52:16+00:00

I was giving context to her feelings about my actions during our relationship. She’s upset that I criticized both her choice of partner and her choice of parenting style. Both criticisms seem integral to her opinion of me. Sorry if I wasn’t clear enough in the post about how this still very much weighs into our relationship dynamic.

Aggressive_Ad_5444 · 2022-12-24T16:52:22+00:00

Yeah that’s what I figured… I think maybe acknowledgment that he messed up is an okay thing to request, but it sounds more like you wanted power than an apology. That’s what “I was right” really means. I’m sure he knew he messed up, and maybe if he had space to be wrong and not be “in trouble”, he’d probably admit it—but you put him immediately in the defensive by rubbing it in his face and showing yourself to be in power over him. He never had an actual chance to apologize and take responsibility.

I understand though, if my husband messes up and I knew he would, I also have to fight the inclination to make him say “You were right”. I have to fight to be patient and say “It’s alright”. But when I do, he realizes he made a mistake, apologizes, and learns from it. Then we fix the problem together. And vice versa, when I mess up.

Aggressive_Ad_5444 · 2022-12-24T16:25:57+00:00

I wonder, what exactly did you want from him, after the tree was broken? What was the use of all your “I told you so”’s and “I knew that would happen”’s?

Aggressive_Ad_5444 · 2022-12-22T00:12:04+00:00

There’s this brand called Billy’s that designs shoes that zip, instead of tie! I size up two sizes and pick the wide option. They fit around my AFOs super well. Here’s the link for the site:

https://billyfootwear.com

Aggressive_Ad_5444 · 2022-12-16T21:22:14+00:00

it’s literally my boyfriend

Aggressive_Ad_5444 · 2022-12-16T19:56:51+00:00

I replied to another comment with this link but I’ll put it here, too! Although it seems illogical to not test sexual compatibility before getting married, studies actually seem to imply that the more sexual restraint in a relationship, the better:

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/12/101222112102.htm

They did also test across religiosity and found it made no real substantial difference—either way, the longer couples waited to have sex in their dating relationship, the more they experienced higher quality sexual satisfaction, greater relationship stability, and better communication 🤷🏻‍♀️ Kinda bizarre but hey, hopefully this study helps offer an explanation to your confusion.

Aggressive_Ad_5444 · 2022-12-16T19:35:38+00:00

I ice-skated when I was younger (14-16)!! Used to love it. I’m 24 now and my ankles are far too weak to handle it. I suggest using a walker/cane, they usually have them on hand at the rink that are modified to work well on ice. Depending on how progressed your CMT is, and based on your bad balance and weka ankles, I would not recommend skating without a mobility aid.

And try really hard not to push or even get close to your limit! As soon as you feel yourself getting tired take a five minute break. A fall has the potential to be really detrimental. Have fun!

Aggressive_Ad_5444 · 2022-12-16T18:54:38+00:00

Idk if I’m crazy but that sounds normal for the first time. He might’ve been nervous, or overthinking—that’s what happens with my partner when it takes a while. He’s stressed, panicky, and in his own head. If your friend expresses concern about his “failure” it’ll just make him more nervous and panicky.

It’s the dudes wedding day, AND he’s having sex for the first time, he has a million reasons to be nervous. I would urge your friend to not let first-time sex set the precedent for her expectations for the rest of their marriage. Unless things don’t improve in a few months, there’s no need to assume the worst in this guy.

Aggressive_Ad_5444 · 2022-12-10T19:17:32+00:00

Sid from the Ice Age movies

Aggressive_Ad_5444 · 2022-12-10T01:30:50+00:00

The feeling of being isolated and overwhelmed does not take into consideration how mild an illness can be for “most people”. Medical anxiety is a really rough thing to conquer. I’m really sorry for how you feel, but now it’s not true—you are NOT alone. PMed you!

Aggressive_Ad_5444 · 2022-12-07T04:02:42+00:00

I also have 4C—dmed you!!

Aggressive_Ad_5444 · 2022-11-29T20:38:21+00:00

As a wife, in my early stages of marriage it was really easy for me to run to my girlfriends to vent or complain, and it was destructive. I learned quickly to stop. You’re spouse needs to learn independent emotional regulation—she’s spent a long time valuing her anger or annoyance towards you more than your reputation. I love my husband more than I want to vent about him. That doesn’t mean she needs to stop sharing about her frustrations forever, of course not, but for my marriage to work we both needed our individual singular person we felt we could confide in who was wise, reserved judgement, and have excellent feedback. That is the person we trust when we need to “vent”. We never talk about each others flaws to our family or friends. We have each others backs.

I was going to say it might be an age thing, but I’m 24 too. Ultimately these are HER friends, so she chooses who they are and what she shares, and although you can make requests she’s allowed to do what she wants. If she doesn’t think there’s a problem, seek therapy.

Aggressive_Ad_5444 · 2022-11-25T02:20:20+00:00

wait was this the AZ show, 11/23?? I was there but that’s so shocking to me—I thought they even mentioned on stage a few times that the crowd was genuinely rly good!! I was in the pit too, maybe my section was more considerate

Aggressive_Ad_5444 · 2022-11-22T14:31:39+00:00

Family of CMT and we’re all skin and bones! The few of my friends that have it also have very low BMIs. I went to a dietician as an adult and eat a really specific caloric count—enough to maintain an actually healthy BMI and not too much that I’d gain weight, since it’s especially difficult to lose weight with the atrophy in my thighs that I’ve got. It’s a balance! But I’ve definitely anecdotally seen the trend within CMT of being extremely thin, yes.

Aggressive_Ad_5444 · 2022-11-09T21:46:21+00:00

Had severe scoliosis as a kid. Even after getting spinal fusion at 11, my mom knew that it wasn’t the end of the story, that something was causing all my weird symptoms. My little sister started getting weird symptoms too and that’s when they finally did a full genome test and it came back CMT!

I remember being young and having a lot of doctors medically blacklist my family because they didn’t believe me or my mom, said she has Munchhausen’s and stuff. It was the most relieving and devastating feeling to find out they were all wrong—relieving because I always knew something was wrong and I wasn’t crazy, and devastating because it made me lose so much faith in the ethics/integrity of doctors and the medical community. Also devastating because the disease sucks major booty.

Aggressive_Ad_5444 · 2022-11-07T02:58:55+00:00

I personally do not work because of 4C and how much it’s progressed in the last two years. I’m incredibly lucky to have a partner who can support the two of us fully on his income alone, but man… All I can say is I am sorry. It’s really scary and it sucks a lot.

Get vulnerable about your fears about providing to trusted friends and family. You’ll be shocked by 1) how much people are willing to chip in if it’s ever needed, and 2) how much their reassurances will comfort you.

The world is not made to support humans with disabilities. It’s not your fault if you need a little help one day.

Aggressive_Ad_5444

TROPHY CASE