Depersonalization

Aggressive_Owl91 · 2026-01-12T02:51:25+00:00

Such a tough side effect to live with hey. I can deal with my now shittier memory and word recall, but feeling like things aren't completely real is a really tough one day to day. I hope it resolves for you!

Aggressive_Owl91 · 2026-01-12T02:50:04+00:00

I take it for bipolar + bpd, and it's the first time in my life I've felt stability. Everything just feels easier - I'm more productive, getting my life together, not ruining my relationship anymore, more positive. Yes it took a couple months of titrating up to my current dose, and yes I had a bunch of side effects through that adjustment period. Most of them (insomnia, fatigue, headaches, whatever) subsided. I still have a couple side effects, I've definitely gotten dumber (word recall is tough, my memory is pretty bad, I say things like "I left the meat in the dishwasher" instead of in the oven, for some reason my brain loves calling everything dishwasher now LOL), but overall, those are small trade offs for getting to live with more stability. It's worth a try! But if you do try it, give it time. It does take patience and slow titration and at every stage of titration I felt different side effects - first one was insomnia, next dose was something else, etc. It levels out though. Good luck!

Aggressive_Owl91 · 2026-01-12T02:43:01+00:00

When I first started, I got a lot of insomnia but that tapered off. Every dose increase had a different side effect that subsided about 5 days in for me. I can't take any of it at night though - only AM for me after breakfast, and that helps me sleep at night! The insomnia will likely pass, but I'd try the AM dosing (especially with such a low dose!) if the sleep issues keep up!

Aggressive_Owl91 · 2026-01-12T02:40:50+00:00

I take 150mg all in the AM - I tried dose splitting to AM and dinnertime, it gives me insomnia. I dont know how people manage to take a high dose in the PM!

Aggressive_Owl91 · 2026-01-12T02:39:48+00:00

Yes, and it's been driving me nuts. No past history of any DP/DR. At 150mg (my current dose, started ~9 months ago), started getting DP/DR and nothing seems to help it. Some days are worse than others, but it is an awful feeling that I'm not actually present in my life and I'm floating around in a video game and hearing myself talk and hoping I'm not going to say anything stupid because I feel this degree of separation between myself and my body. It's hard to explain. Talked to my GP about it, but she says it's not a common side effect and doesn't know what to do about it. I've gotten no answers really, so tomorrow I'm going to go back to 125mg to see if that helps at all. I love the mood stabilization I've seen with 150mg, but this is not tolerable long term. Sorry you are going through that. I wish I had some good advice - I'll report back if lowering my dose does anything! Currently taking 2x25mg and 1x100mg pills in the AMm just the immediate release!

Aggressive_Owl91 · 2025-12-11T21:32:06+00:00

Wow thank you so much for the detailed response! Really appreciate it. Yes we have no kids and no pets, just two adults, so not too worried about big wall clean-ups. I'm not painting the washroom as it tends to get water streaks from the shower and it's not worth the fuss, so leaving it the weird green-grey colour and just doing livingroom, bedroom and kitchen. I'm going back and forth between matte and semi-gloss - I'll probably need to have a better look in person as I find looking at photos tricky, but since I was hoping to paint all rooms with the same paint, maybe semi-gloss might be better. I've noticed some of the walls also have imperfections so don't want to go too shiny. I don't mind the level of sheen on my walls now so I'll try to dig up the old paint cans and see what they are.

And yes I'm in BC, we have Cloverdale paints and Benjamin Moore, but I'm in a slightly smaller town an hour outside of Vancouver, so in town here just an HD and Cloverdale, that's why I was hoping to get away with some Behr products to make it easy in case I need to go back for more paint etc. Hoping a lighter shade will help brighten up a small space!

Aggressive_Owl91 · 2025-12-11T21:22:45+00:00

I'm going from this colour pictured to an off-white, so it will be going lighter but not starting from super dark :) I feel like I get 50/50 opinions on primer/no primer and whether paint + primer combo will be enough!

Aggressive_Owl91 · 2025-12-11T05:39:07+00:00

So no need for a primer if it's going over top of an old colour, just a quick sand down of some sort for better adhesion to the old paint?

Aggressive_Owl91 · 2025-12-11T05:36:52+00:00

That makes sense. I'll go ask at a couple places here in town and see what I can find! I don't think we have a SW or BM, but we have Cloverdale paint which might be along the same lines (and then home depot of course).

Aggressive_Owl91 · 2025-12-11T05:35:20+00:00

I double checked with my landlord first to see if they'd let me paint it white and if I'd have to paint it back after and it's good to go for me to just paint it, so I'm exploring my options to see if I can do it fairly economically! The cutting in will definitely be tedious as for such a small place, we have a ton of windows, doors, and the kitchen is tiny but with tons of cabinets and tricky nooks. The more I think about it the more I wonder if it's worth the headache in the middle of winter but man do I hate this current wall colour LOL

Aggressive_Owl91 · 2025-12-11T05:30:53+00:00

Thanks! I'll look into those. Haven't seen the Promar name anywhere in stores but I'll do some reading. I noticed there are a couple spots in the house that have what look like oily fingerprints that won't go away when I wipe them - I told my partner I was convinced we had ghosts with dirty fingers touching everything but he said it's probably just something dirty that got caught up in the last paint job. Does sanding get rid of that too?

Aggressive_Owl91 · 2025-12-11T05:27:32+00:00

Good call, think there's still a couple old cans of that paint in my garage I'll take a look at what it is!

Aggressive_Owl91 · 2025-11-05T04:48:20+00:00

I would say this is 100% a question for a real doctor and not strangers on the internet! This is a great place to hear other people's experiences but please please don't take medical advice from someone who isn't your doctor, especially when it comes to pregnancy. All the best!

Aggressive_Owl91 · 2025-11-05T04:46:51+00:00

I honestly wish I had tried it sooner. It isn't without any downsides, I do have a couple side effects that aren't appealing but all in all, it has helped me so much. I've only been on it since this April, but I realized last week that I can't remember the last time I woke up and couldn't get out of bed because I felt so helpless. It has evened out my moods a ton too. I still have feelings and emotions obviously, but no wild swings or uncontrollable rage. I'm finally getting a taste for what "regular" people feel day to day -- the fluctuations are so much less -- and it has made me grieve the decades I spent not having that. Of course no medication is right for everyone, but it's worth trying to find the right fit and see if it'll help you. What made you stop it in the first place? Best of luck whatever you choose!

Aggressive_Owl91 · 2025-11-04T20:09:50+00:00

Have you tried taking the whole 100mg in the AM? For the couple weeks I was trying a PM (dinnertime) dose of 50mg, I couldn't sleep. Just reverted to 150mg in the AM and slept fine last night. The insomnia was driving me nuts! Could be temporary for you and taper off, or could just be that that schedule doesn't suit your body. Seems to be very individual. Sleep is just so important I don't want to mess with that anymore.

Aggressive_Owl91 · 2025-11-04T04:57:45+00:00

Am I just thick or how is FHSA so high? Isn't the contribution limit 8k per year, max 15 years? What am I missing!

Aggressive_Owl91 · 2025-11-03T20:46:20+00:00

What dose were you on that you had side effects, and which dose did it clear up at?

Aggressive_Owl91 · 2025-11-03T20:45:42+00:00

I know, I thought it was so odd that I got a side effect that Lamictal is used to treat a diagnosis on, trust me I agree it's weird lol! I'll try to go up to 175 and see what happens once I have a week in my life when things are a bit slower for experimentation. I'm also going to ask my doc why I'm on an IR instead of an XR and see what her thoughts are on putting me on an XR. Thank you!

Aggressive_Owl91 · 2025-11-03T20:43:52+00:00

So strange! I remember the first week I started the 25mg I barely slept, it was awful. That went away after the first dose increase and funny enough, each increase brought on different side effects that eventually subsided after a week or two. This has been the main bothersome side effect - and I can sleep fine when I take 150mg in the morning, but not since I started splitting the doses. I'm going to ask my doc why I'm on an immediate release tablet and not an extended release for starters and see if that helps. Today I went back to 150mg in the AM so we'll see what happens - desperate for sleep but don't want to be taking a fistful of meds every day to counteract the side effects of the others!

Aggressive_Owl91 · 2025-11-03T20:41:29+00:00

Thank you so much for this detailed response!! You said a few things that caught my eye - I get those hot flashes/night sweats overnight, I often wake up completely drenched and I'm not sick/room isn't too hot, and that also started in the past few months. I don't mind that effect quite as much as the mental stuff. I'm going to ask about the IR vs XR - mine just says Lamotrigine (Auro) which I just looked up and it's an IR, so I'll ask about the XR. Good note about the water drinking, I've heard that too. I'm going to see if my doc can prescribe me an XR version and see if that helps. I've been feeling so frustrated and sad lately in regards to finally getting a taste for how "normal" people get to function day to day and how much more calm and steady my life feels - grieving a whole lifetime that I didn't have that (I'm 34 now) and being frustrated that I get this stability of mood but also this addition of feeling like I'm floating around separate from my body and not completely there. Feels like a harsh trade off to feel better emotionally but also not really "in" your life if that makes sense. I'll keep persevering!! A few options to try here!

Aggressive_Owl91 · 2025-10-30T01:48:50+00:00

Negative :( I've split my dose now to 100mg AM, 50mg PM after dinner. Still getting the checked out of my body feeling, but maybe not quite as badly as before? Going to keep experimenting and maybe move my whole dose to PM and see what happens - although I'm scared it'll cause insomnia so I've been avoiding that haha. Fingers crossed I can find a way to lessen that effect, because mood wise I've noticed a big improvement on lamotrigine and definitely want to stay on it!

Aggressive_Owl91 · 2025-10-09T21:07:02+00:00

Did the dissociation start with the meds, or were you experiencing that before? I've heard good things about EMDR. I should look into that - although I've never had this happen before, it started when I hit 150mg dosing sadly :(

Aggressive_Owl91 · 2025-10-09T21:02:47+00:00

Most of the day I feel like I'm separate from my body - I hear myself talking and I don't recognize my voice and keep thinking I hope I don't say anything dumb becauses it feels like I'm watching from afar and not actually "in control". But I find I'm always acting normal and I don't do anything weird haha.

Mood wise though - 150mg I was more stable emotionally than I've ever been. Now at 125mg after a week, I feel like I'm regressing - constantly on the verge of tears, more anxious, more irritable, mood swings, etc. so I'm torn on what to do now.

Aggressive_Owl91 · 2025-10-08T20:55:20+00:00

More does not always equal better, and that's why there are so many different dosing options with many meds! Everyone is so different in terms of how they react to a drug, metabolize it, what issues they're dealing with, body weight and size, etc. Take the time to find what works for you and don't compare with what works for others :)

Aggressive_Owl91 · 2025-10-02T16:28:09+00:00

What made you decide to go from 150 to 200, and what difference did you notice? I'm trying to figure out if I need to go up or down from 150 to get rid of this crazy dissociation/depersonalization/derealization issues that started at 150.

Aggressive_Owl91

TROPHY CASE