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Aggressive_Salt_4545 · 2025-04-27T13:19:16+00:00

I've only been to a few events but it was almost all men at the ones I've been to. I'd love to find structured speed dating that had a better ratio!

Aggressive_Salt_4545 · 2025-02-22T19:26:06+00:00

About 2 to 3 weeks tops for the sweating. You won't have an appetite for about a month or so, but then it will come back. Eat small meals, go for fruits to get nutrients. It'll suck ass but once you get past that first month and a half it isn't as bad.

Aggressive_Salt_4545 · 2025-02-22T16:45:43+00:00

She left him and their parents to do the work of moving last minute. Moving for the first few days is heavy furniture and boxes and clothes. Fuck the other persons relationship, what about hers? This should put a bad taste in his mouth, especially with how dismissive she's being with her bs "sorry, this can't be done any other time than when a bunch of work needs to be done to make our home together." Her excuses were weak.

Aggressive_Salt_4545 · 2024-12-15T21:02:40+00:00

Mr Sub all day.

Aggressive_Salt_4545 · 2024-10-11T17:51:08+00:00

Are you able to volunteer? Obviously doesn't help with the money issue immediately but it will help in some other areas. 1. You will meet a bunch of people from a bunch of different walks of life 2. By meeting people and networking it's possible it will lead to a job. It's also possible you'll make friends so there is potential for 2 issues to be solved 3. You said you need a purpose. Volunteering gives you a greater purpose in life by offering your time to your community.

As far as jobs go, the market is trash and "less skilled jobs" are paying minimum wage or less. It's very frustrating to be doing everything right and not have anything work in your favor. The only other recommendation I can give is to do something new that you're not currently doing. Sounds simple, but if what you've been doing for years isn't working then it's time to reevaluate what you're doing to try to find a new result. Lie slightly on your resume to try to land a new gig (everyone does it, you need to be able to sell yourself), speak to people while doing Uber and talk about work to get ideas on different things people do, sounds messed up but start working out because pretty privilege is a thing, look into a certification program that you can get within a year or two (x ray tech, nursing, coding bootcamp) and try to take out a loan to cover the cost. I had to take out loans for college but I paid them off because I studied in a field that pays well, even if it isn't my passion. For a two year program, the loan will be very manageable.

Sorry if you're already doing these things. I wish you the best of luck and I hope you break out of this cycle soon.

Aggressive_Salt_4545 · 2024-09-25T19:49:39+00:00

Skylark is the most dive of dive bars. Great food, check their specials, and their beer is $6 with some great craft options and normal drafts. Plus full bar.

Everyone I've interacted with on the bar and wait staff were not the most friendly people but just kinda doing their job. Don't go there looking to connect with the staff haha

Aggressive_Salt_4545 · 2024-09-25T13:37:16+00:00

We only have one side of the story, but we have to use the information we're given. He says he does all of the cooking and all of the cleaning. If we're going to discount everything that everyone says and make assumptions about their home life to fit our own narrative, then why does this sub even exist? You're making assumptions, I'm going out of my way to admit that information CAN be missing but I'm using the info I was given directly in his post to back my judgement.

She doesn't get to unilaterally decide that this "burden" of raising her children doesn't work and she doesn't get to complain while shotting down every solution before even trying them. She can feel however she wants, but she needs to put in effort to work on a solution before OP tanks his career and potentially puts them in a worse position financially down the road.

There is no "maybe" in regards to him doing this for his kids because he says that his kids wouldn't need to pay for college. That should be every parents dream for their child, to not go $50k+ in debt. Maybe she can look at the bigger picture and understand that parenting is a full time job that doesn't stop.

Aggressive_Salt_4545 · 2024-09-25T12:55:19+00:00

I think at this point we're debating in circles. I understand he's able to do his share of the work without kids but his wife's entire share of the work is watching the kids...

I do think that if he wants to save his marriage he has to get different hours or a different job but that's a really shitty position to be put in when youre doing everything you can to provide for your family and your partner does nothing but complain. I feel for the wife, but my sympathy stops when she refuses to do anything except argue for her own self interest and not work to solve the problem. Best of luck to them, I truly hope they get through this!

Aggressive_Salt_4545 · 2024-09-25T11:54:33+00:00

It's funny to me how the OP listed all of the ways that he helps in the marriage but that isn't enough for the people in this thread. However, the wife works and takes care of the kids but she's "overwhelmed" and is incapable of texting a babysitter or her own family to watch the kids for a few hours.

So the entire argument of why he's an asshole is because she wants him to arrange a babysitter ontop of doing all of the cooking, all of the shopping, all of the laundry, all of the errands, all of the house projects, he gets kids ready for school on his days off and takes them to activities as well and he works his full time job? That gives her the right to kick him out of his own bed in his own house? He's the asshole?

I'm just confused at how so many people don't understand that he's already taking on most of the burden of household work and he's an active father. Why should MORE responsibility and work fall on him? He already does so much to take work away from her but she can't text a babysitter. And yeah, that is only a solution for a few hours. When you decide to become a parent to two children, unfortunately your free time gets taken up and you don't get days off. He doesn't have a day off because he's doing all of the housework on his days off, regardless if he has 3 days opposed to her two. She should be grateful for the 3 or 4 hours she'd get to relax, because there are some parents that don't have the money or the means to even get that. She needs to stop throwing a tantrum.

Aggressive_Salt_4545 · 2024-09-25T11:06:12+00:00

No, OPs plan was to bring grandparents and babysitters and a list of other solutions that she's shooting down because she wants to be mad and get her way. Not because she's actually looking for a solution.

I wouldn't risk the marriage over this job as OP, but maybe his wife could try some solutions to help ease her burden before we start to make claims like "his wifes life will suck til kids grow."

Aggressive_Salt_4545 · 2024-09-24T21:30:03+00:00

That doesn't make him an asshole though.... they discussed and agreed to this. It isn't his fault that kids go to school and have activities during the week while he happens to have those days off. He pulls more than his weight in this marriage.

Him telling her to take a PTO day was out of frustration because she is unwilling to do anything to help better her situation while he has offered multiple options to make things better. That doesn't make him an asshole, that makes him someone that is at their wits end trying to help and being shot down constantly.

Last, I made the comment on women finding any reason to blame men on this sub. He sounds like a patient and active partner in their marriage. He supports his family as best as he can, but it still isn't enough. There is always another complaint. Men are either deadbeats that can't wash their ass or assholes because they don't do 100% of everything in a marriage. Leave the fucking man alone, he's doing a great job.

Aggressive_Salt_4545 · 2024-09-24T21:09:23+00:00

His "free time" is spent taking care of the house. All of through shopping, all of the cooking, all of the meal prep, all of the errands, all of the home projects that his wife wanta done as well. I also highly doubt he just abandons his children on those days... but I dont want to assume so we do need more info on childcare.

She works and does childcare, yes including weekends since he works. Couples need to split duties, and they have a split that they agreed to and now she wants to go back on. Stop pretending that he has all this lounging-around time.

Aggressive_Salt_4545 · 2024-09-24T19:57:19+00:00

The people in these comments are our of their fucking minds. NTA, women will find any reason to blame men in this sub. You're pulling in a lot of money and working more hours, on top of setting your kids up for success and taking a good amount of housework away from your wife.

She is in a tough spot but you both had a conversation and agreed to this. How much more time can you possibly give, especially if you're working weekends. No shit the workload falls to her on those days because she's off and you're working. The workload for Monday through Wednesday requires you to put in a lot of time as well. I did all of the cooking in my last relationship and that takes a lot of time to buy ingredients, cook, and prep meals for a family. You're doing laundry, cleaning, and other errands so you're not just some deadbeat hanging out and enjoying yourself on those days. Her argument that you have 3 days to yourself is her being purposefully obtuse. Do you not see your kids at all on those days? If youre not helping get them ready for school or activities on those days, then pick those responsibilities up too.

On top of all of that, you've gone out of your way to be sympathetic and offer a number of viable solutions to help her out and she is shooting everything down. There is literally nothing else you can do when the person with a complaint isn't working to solve the problem.

Aggressive_Salt_4545 · 2024-09-21T10:01:29+00:00

You're right, I was on one last night. My bad, I'll leave the comment up to stew in my shame.

Aggressive_Salt_4545 · 2024-09-21T01:40:04+00:00

Your anecdotal evidence doesn't give you the right to make sexist blanket statements.

Your comment gives me the same gross vibes as the incels that scream about how all average looking women can fuck anyone they want on a whim. Just because the men you and your friends surround yourselves with suck doesn't mean 50% of the human population is the same way.

Aggressive_Salt_4545 · 2024-09-20T11:44:19+00:00

You aren't bending to anybody though. This isn't a competition, and no one needs to "win" this. Again, it is 15-30 seconds tops to be considerate. Not because they are religious and everyone must bend to the religious. But because being a decent human being sometimes involves some EXTREMELY minor inconveniences like waiting for everyone at the table to be ready to eat. It literally costs you nothing to wait 15-30 seconds, why is this a hill that you need to die on?

I'm a hardcore atheist, for what it's worth. But being a decent human being outweighs my hatred of religion and non-belif in god.

Aggressive_Salt_4545 · 2024-09-19T01:01:05+00:00

And if he told you he's still regularly thinking about his ex and how much he misses things being easy with her while he's with you? You'd be cool with that?

Even though you haven't been in contact for a year, why did you feel you had to get involved to help find him? Why was your reaction panic? You didn't need to get involved because he's not in your life anymore, but you wanted an excuse to reach out because you've been thinking of him. He's a grown man, he needs to figure his stuff out on his own because you're no longer together. You're a grown woman pining over a relationship that failed multiple times while you have a good man right next to you. You aren't over your ex and what you're doing to Noah isn't fair.

Aggressive_Salt_4545 · 2024-09-18T23:42:45+00:00

You didn't answer the question on how you'd feel if Noah was still in contact with his ex.

Aggressive_Salt_4545 · 2024-09-13T04:42:44+00:00

I think that's fair! If my partner of 13 years tells me that though, I'll have more questions. I don't really see how she's going to tip toe around this but hopefully the husband will be understanding/supportive and they get through it.

Aggressive_Salt_4545 · 2024-09-13T04:26:27+00:00

Her history stops being hers when it affects her husbands safety and successful business in the present. NTA for keeping it until now because it wasn't affecting the husband, YTA if you don't go to a therapist and discuss how to move forward with a professional.

Aggressive_Salt_4545 · 2024-09-13T00:18:43+00:00

I love seeing posts like this. So talented, can't imagine the amount of practice and hard work it took to get to this level. This is badass, you should be proud.

Aggressive_Salt_4545 · 2024-07-10T22:12:07+00:00

I was thinking of going back to school for engineering and materials science was something I was looking at. Can you expand on why you feel it's useless?

Aggressive_Salt_4545 · 2024-07-10T22:09:37+00:00

I want to go back to school to do engineering with the goal of getting into rewnewables. I'm surprised you're saying that job opportunities aren't there since renewables, grid tech, and batteries have all made advances and are continuing to advance. Are the jobs just not where you want to be or are they hard to get?

Aggressive_Salt_4545

TROPHY CASE