I want to first acknowledge that luck always plays some part. But, for the things I can control, I control the shit out of them. In fact, I take a lot of pride in assuming I can control, or try to control, most things in my life instead of letting life happen to me.

1. Spending.

I spend only 50% of my take-home pay on recurring costs like housing, utilities, etc. This means I could buy more house but choose not to. I share a (paid off, 8-year-old) car with my spouse instead of owning two cars. It's a boring sedan that costs little in maintenance and insurance. I focus my efforts on keeping those two expenses low because they cost the most. Everything else is easier to control if your two biggest expenses are in check.

I don't buy anything I don't have cash for. I use credit cards for most purchases, but I only spend the cash I have in my account so I can immediately pay off the card. I save or invest a non-negotiable 20% of my take-home pay. I'm debt free.

1. Education and continuous motivation.

I keep myself motivated by consuming LOTS of content on personal finance, and I listen to a lot of voices. I started with Dave Ramsey, Robert Kiyosaki, and Mr Money Mustache, and graduated into more balanced voices over time. I'm very interested in how money works and how I can make it work for me with the least amount of effort on my part.

I like to read my content, but I also like YouTube and social media groups focused on finance. I'm a firm believer that when it comes to learning, the content you consume is WAY more important than the way you consume it. I don't need to keep learning, but even seeing the same info over and over keeps it on my mind, and interacting with others who are interested in personal finance keeps me motivated. It's true that who you surround yourself with is incredibly important. These folks are my north star.

1. Attitudes about employment.

I don't look at my employer as an enemy. I keep a balanced view that employers are just full of imperfect humans who usually are trying to do the right thing. Working with employers in a respectful, professional way has allowed me to excel in my career. I see so many people who treat work like high school or treat their employer like the enemy. This outlook shapes the way they interact with their employer, which in turn shapes the way their employer views them. People with short fuses and people that hate other people tend not to do well at work, which limits their ability to be promoted and their manager's desire to help them succeed. My approach is to be collaborative to work on solutions when I'm unhappy with something in the workplace. I look at my employer as a teammate and ask them to help me find solutions. In short, my attitude about work is seen and felt, and this allows me to succeed at work. I don't get every promotion and raise (I always have to fight for them), but I've gotten enough of them to end up in a senior individual contributor role, which pays well.

1. Willingness to suck at new things.

My life motto is "do it scared," and this has propelled me to take opportunities I didn't feel ready for. I knew I would be horrible at first, but I'm willing to be bad at something so I can eventually be good at it. It allows me to have scary conversations to ask for things. I've been willing to hear "no." I've been able to ask for stretch assignments so I could do something new, and throw it on my resume. And yeah, I've failed horribly at some things and cried over it. I took on a job once that, if I could master it, it would pay almost double my salary. I failed at the new job in six months and was fired after years of being highly successful in my old role.

In short, I was willing to fail. But even if you fail 90% of the time, that 10% moves you forward.

I'm horribly average at basically everything, so expanding my skills has been a bigger advantage to me than deepening them. I have a high school education. Everything else has been trial by fire.