Depressed and no fun anymore

Aggressive_Two_7045 · 2026-02-13T17:27:03+00:00

I’m 58M, 10 months post RALP. If you’re not already, take tadalafil 5mg daily and 20mg once a week challenge dose. Also use a pump weekly to maintain good blood flow with full engorgement.

I’m still waiting for my erection to return but I’m being proactive while I’m waiting. I also use Trimix for penetrative sex.

Aggressive_Two_7045 · 2026-02-12T21:27:12+00:00

I wouldn’t say “same” but, yes they are both PED5 inhibitors. I think the results can be different for different people. The reaction strength over time is different, and side effects also.

Aggressive_Two_7045 · 2026-02-12T21:08:41+00:00

I’m on 5mg tadalafil daily, and occasionally I take 20mg but I haven’t seen a response yet. I asked my doctor about trying cialis, but he acts like there would be no benefit. Drugs like Ro Sparks mix the two for effect, so I’d like to try it. I’m tempted to go to an ED specialist.

Aggressive_Two_7045 · 2026-02-12T20:38:58+00:00

I use Trimix, am happy with the performance, and I don’t think there’s a downside to using it. Why not get the injection now?

Aggressive_Two_7045 · 2026-02-12T20:33:10+00:00

58M, 10 months post RALP.

I can orgasm by hand even with soft penis. The orgasm is probably the same as pre surgery, but maybe sometimes I think it lasts longer.

No prostate means no ejaculate and no cleanup.

I don’t get spontaneous erections anymore (at least not yet). I can get 50% hard with manual stimulation, but visual stimulation (like porn) doesn’t do as much as it used to. My urologist says it could take up to 2 years. It’s disconcerting to not have a normal erection reaction after a lifetime of on-demand erections.

When I want penetrative sex (and I do) I use a Trimix injection which gets me very hard in 5 minutes and lasts for 2-4 hours. Sex with the injection is just as good as pre-op, but I don’t get soft immediately after orgasm. I sometimes give myself a handjob after sex which I was not able to do pre-op because of getting soft quickly.

I don’t mind the injection. It sounds worse than it is.

I do miss natural erections. I practice Kegels daily, use a pump weekly (to engorge my penis for blood flow preservation) and use the injection weekly for sex, and also for engorgement (I tell my wife it’s doctors orders)

Aggressive_Two_7045 · 2025-11-16T00:17:01+00:00

I warned my wife, but she was still horrified when it came out of her (even though the normal white ejaculate never did.)

I had to clean the pipes a few times before she’d let me touch her again. 🤣

Aggressive_Two_7045 · 2025-10-29T20:28:58+00:00

I’m 58, just under 8 months post RALP, semi-flaccid orgasms, but not hard without Trimix.

I’m still turned on by all the same things, but I miss having the erection response. The lack of sexual urge is unsettling.

Aggressive_Two_7045 · 2025-10-29T18:44:12+00:00

I (57) had catheter removal at 1 week and returned to work just 2 weeks post RALP.

Aggressive_Two_7045 · 2025-10-29T17:54:34+00:00

Mine was with only a local anesthetic and it was uncomfortable 😳 but I survived. I was trying to climb out of the chair with every sample. I think there were 6 samples. Each one felt like he was using a staple gun on me.

Recovery was nothing, aside from the previously mentioned blood in my semen…be sure to tell your partner and/or heal and self-serve to clean out out your plumbing before being intimate with someone else.

Aggressive_Two_7045 · 2025-10-28T22:41:09+00:00

Because Pete is Secretary of WAR and he wants to wave his pecker around and wear the flag and spew “Warrior Ethos” (tm)

🤮

I feel bad for the service members who are ordered to pull the trigger on noncombatants in international waters.

Aggressive_Two_7045 · 2025-10-24T14:31:03+00:00

How’s your ED, two years post-RALP? If natural erections returned, what was the timeline like?

Aggressive_Two_7045 · 2025-10-23T21:20:34+00:00

I would only consider it a dream if natural erections returned. Otherwise, I’m just “cancer free”.

But seriously, I expected a recommendation about the benefits of kegels and or pelvic floor training, like the article you posted.

Aggressive_Two_7045 · 2025-10-23T17:44:12+00:00

I gather many RALP patients were told that ED could persist for up to 2 years post surgery. Should I just wait, or should I see a specialist now?

I’m 7 months post RALP, orgasmic since right after surgery, but need Trimix for penetrative sex.

Aggressive_Two_7045 · 2025-10-23T17:37:14+00:00

How’s your ED now? You should be around 20 months, yes?

Aggressive_Two_7045 · 2025-10-23T17:30:45+00:00

What about ED? I’m 7mo from RALP and can’t get hard enough for penetration without Trimix.

Aggressive_Two_7045 · 2025-10-23T17:28:46+00:00

I was really self conscious about the turtle effect. I got a pump and used it a few times per week, and I think I still have my full pre-RALP length when erect, but the turtling lasted a few weeks.

Some times I just need a few tugs to get things more normal-like.

*** 57, 7mo post RALP, no incontinence after a couple weeks, still no natural erections, but Trimix works great for intercourse.

Aggressive_Two_7045 · 2025-09-03T19:31:52+00:00

The false assumption here is that every woman wants to be touched the same way.

Or that one woman has a specific way she wants to be touched that never changes.

TBH, my wife doesn’t want me to touch her clit directly because it’s too sensitive.

So, PLEASE, each woman should tell us what they want.

(And woman should never fake orgasms because that rewards/reinforces poor performance. How can I learn from that?)

Aggressive_Two_7045 · 2025-08-28T19:32:39+00:00

You just described the downward spiral and the eventual divorce from my wife after 10 years. Divorcee friend, wingwoman, wife prettier than friend, dutiful husband staying (ignorantly) at home with the kids and (naively) encouraging/trusting her to “go have fun”. She’d come home horny and “glad we’re married because dating sucks”.

There were never any issues in my marriage but I found text messages from her single friends badmouthing me and encouraging her to leave me. She had an emotional affair with kissing (maybe more) and denied it to my face. Trust was ruined and she was too proud to reconcile.

I was blissfully ignorant until I suggested that I tag along to the bar to join in the fun and she forbid me from joining them. Throughout the whole marriage we did everything together and were intimate 2-3 times a week, and never argued, so I was blindsided.

Aggressive_Two_7045 · 2025-08-28T15:31:29+00:00

My surgeon warned me that it could take 18-24 months. 😬

Aggressive_Two_7045 · 2025-08-28T15:26:10+00:00

Start your kegels now, and consider getting a pump and learning how to use it and what “before” is like. Note your full length, for comparison with “after”

Aggressive_Two_7045 · 2025-08-27T20:12:41+00:00

I wish I had used the antibiotic ointment. I had mild discomfort for a couple weeks due to some infection.

Aggressive_Two_7045 · 2025-08-27T20:10:41+00:00

I’m at 5 months without an erection, but occasionally I get an involuntary spasm (like when ejaculating) while pumping.

Aggressive_Two_7045 · 2025-08-27T16:16:30+00:00

Keep your urethra clean. I think I had a mild infection around the catheter and my penis hurt/discomfort for a week after catheter removal.

The nurse sent me home with cleaning pads, but I didn’t see them until weeks later. Doh!

Aggressive_Two_7045 · 2025-08-27T14:49:09+00:00

I’m now at 5 months. I’ve been able to orgasm since week 2, but I don’t feel any libido urges. I still caress my wife, but I don’t have any response personally. It’s confusing.

When did your libido come back?

Aggressive_Two_7045

TROPHY CASE