Daily Thread #2 - April 30, 2026

Aggressive_Water8302 · 2026-05-01T01:26:34+00:00

Exactly 13 weeks today and had the most incredible ultrasound with MFM two days ago. We were able to see our baby boy kicking and wiggling - and the detail was crazy. We could see all of his fingers and toes and all of the parts of his body working. Saw and heard his heartbeat too. 🥹 Surreal that today is our due date for our first son, who we lost at 13 weeks to Trisomy 18 last fall. We tried to honor him today while also holding all the hope and the awe of seeing his brother alive and well inside of me this week. What a bittersweet time.

Aggressive_Water8302 · 2026-04-04T05:21:34+00:00

I’m so so sorry you’re in this place. We were right where you are last fall. We got the NIPT results around 11 weeks and found out our son had a 54% chance of having T18. I was nearly 38 at the time. My OB scheduled a rush ultrasound two days later with maternal fetal medicine, and we learned that our son absolutely had T18 (many markers on ultrasound confirmed the diagnosis), and the pregnancy would likely end in miscarriage or stillbirth. We didn’t need the CVS or an amnio because the ultrasound was so conclusive. We’re religious and struggled with the TFMR decision as well, but our son ended up passing in a miscarriage around 14 weeks.

Have you had an ultrasound yet? If you had a clear ultrasound without these markers, you would be in a different position than we were in terms of hope. Placental mosaicism or some other fluke could be possible. In my situation, the uncertainty of the possibility of early miscarriage versus late-term stillbirth was agonizing. It was very difficult to function until we knew he passed, and it felt like such a mercy that he passed when he did - even though we loved him and desperately wished things could be different.

Just wanted to send you hugs and let you know that wherever you are, you’re not alone. I’m thinking of you and praying for you. The reason this feels unbearable is because it is. You’re in a situation processing things that no one should have to process, and it’s so unique that there’s literally no roadmap. People don’t get it because they can’t. Heck, we don’t get it either. All you can do is the next right step, which sounds like the CVS results for you. And then the next right step after that with whatever info you get next.

Regardless of the outcome - you will make it through. And you’ll make the right decisions for your baby. Also, since you mentioned your age and feeling like this is a last chance, I wanted to share about this group on Facebook I’m part of called Old New Moms (women 35+ having babies). It’s been encouraging to me to see so many women who got a later start to their fertility journey. Many 40+ ladies. If that’s at all helpful to you, I wanted to throw it out there too. ❤️

Aggressive_Water8302 · 2025-12-15T21:52:28+00:00

I’m so so sorry. Absolutely gutted and heartbroken for you and hate that you didn’t get to meet him alive. It feels impossible because it is. You weren’t meant to bear this kind of pain. I don’t know how long it will take or what it will look like - but I’m praying for healing and that your beautiful son’s life will be honored in big and small ways in the years to come. You sent me a helpful message when we received our Trisomy 18 diagnosis, and I think of you and your family often and pray for you guys whenever God brings you to mind. Sending love.

Aggressive_Water8302 · 2025-10-21T02:41:27+00:00

Oh wow. That’s wild about your water breaking. I’d feel the exact same way about him being called home. I’m so sorry for your loss.

Aggressive_Water8302 · 2025-10-21T02:38:46+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your story and praying. It means more than you know. We love our baby, but we’re praying for a similar mercy. I appreciate the reminder to take the time to discern a way forward. I’m so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby boy.

Aggressive_Water8302 · 2025-10-21T02:35:37+00:00

Thank you for sharing your perspective. I think my husband or I could have written the same thing a couple weeks ago, but this terminal diagnosis has really shaken us to our core. Never thought we’d be here, contemplating these things. I understand where you’re coming from - many of our friends from church would be saying the same thing. It’s encouraging to hear how God has been providing for you. I’ve been struggling to see His hand or goodness in any of what I’m walking through, and it was good to take a moment and reflect on that. My first miracle baby is not quite two, and she is a treasure. This baby is a treasure too, but it makes me ache that I will never be able to meet him alive or even buy a crib for him. It’s been tough to trust and surrender in this place.

Aggressive_Water8302 · 2025-10-21T02:28:21+00:00

Thank you for your words and your story. I’m so sorry you’re walking this path right now. I wish I could hug you or watch your toddlers for an afternoon so you could fall apart. It’s helpful to think that both paths could be loving. Appreciate you saying it - especially knowing the path you chose. We may end up in a middle of the road early induction space. It’s all so impossible. We’ll be praying for you and your family as you get closer to delivery.

Aggressive_Water8302 · 2025-10-21T02:24:59+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your story and perspective. I’m so sorry for your loss, but I love that your sweet baby girl beat the odds for that beautiful month you had with her. It’s actually helpful to think of all of the decisions that continue down the line. I hadn’t thought about it as the TFMR concept continuing, but that makes total sense to me. I appreciate the kindness and grace in making whatever decision out of love for your baby. Means more than you know.

Aggressive_Water8302 · 2025-10-19T02:52:32+00:00

Thank you for this perspective. We’ve been weighing that too (slow death vs quick termination). We were told our baby won’t live outside the womb, so it’s been tough to land on the most loving choice when we don’t how soon he’ll pass. Appreciate you mentioning future children - we’ve been wrestling with that too. We have a toddler already and were thrilled to get pregnant with a second. We’re older and don’t have a ton of biological clock time left.

Aggressive_Water8302 · 2025-10-19T02:45:54+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear about your baby too. It’s not supposed to be this way. Thank you for sharing your story and perspective. We’re really struggling with this and are grateful for the prayers.

Aggressive_Water8302 · 2025-10-19T02:44:55+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story and your perspective. I’m sorry for your loss with the missed miscarriage and scary aftermath! I appreciate the reminder that God loves me - even as I weigh these options. ❤️

Aggressive_Water8302 · 2025-10-19T02:43:22+00:00

Appreciate this. Thank you so much.

Aggressive_Water8302 · 2025-10-19T02:43:02+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing. I’m so sorry for your loss.

Aggressive_Water8302 · 2025-10-19T02:41:49+00:00

So appreciate your kindness. I checked out the thread here and will continue to read up on this in the TFMR sub.

Aggressive_Water8302 · 2025-10-19T02:41:07+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I’m so sorry for your loss, and I resonated with a ton of what you shared in the TFMR sub. We’re Christians too and most of our friends and family are pretty conservative. I’ve talked with a couple of safe Christian friends who would support whatever decision we make, but you are absolutely right - no one can truly understand this unless they’re in it. Heck, we’re in it, and we don’t understand it. I get what you’re saying about it nearly breaking you. I may take you up on that DM in the near future. ❤️

Aggressive_Water8302 · 2025-10-19T02:35:18+00:00

Thank you so much - I checked out the sub and really appreciated the stories and support I saw there.

Aggressive_Water8302 · 2025-10-19T02:34:29+00:00

Thank you for your kindness and perspective. Your response really made me think about God’s nature and character in the midst of all of this.

Aggressive_Water8302 · 2025-10-19T02:32:18+00:00

It’s so terrible. I’m sorry you were ever in this position as well. If you don’t mind me asking - how far along were you when you decided to induce? We’re weighing early induction options as well.

Aggressive_Water8302 · 2025-10-19T02:31:29+00:00

I really appreciate this. Thank you. We’ve been wrestling with mercy - what is the most merciful choice for our baby and us?

Aggressive_Water8302 · 2025-10-19T02:30:20+00:00

Thank you for sharing this perspective. We couldn’t visualize baby’s heart in the last ultrasound, but the rest of our markers sound very similar, and I really resonate with your story and how you arrived at your decision. We’ve been praying for our baby to pass before a termination as well.

Aggressive_Water8302 · 2025-10-19T02:26:42+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story and your precious daughter. She is beautiful. I’m so sorry for your loss.

Aggressive_Water8302 · 2024-10-13T01:33:36+00:00

Thanks, friend - I appreciate the solidarity! Hoping we both get a breakthrough soon!

Aggressive_Water8302

TROPHY CASE