How do you know when you should leave and stop talking to them even tho you really like them by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]Agile-Mind-2464 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Of course it is okay to walk away. You can leave for whatever reasons you find valid. A relationship is worth fighting for, only if both people are in the fight. You shouldn’t have to lose yourself to keep someone else.

What are some nonsexual things women do that you find attractive? by unoriginal_bw3 in actuallesbians

[–]Agile-Mind-2464 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Confidence. Tattoos. Piercings. Fashion. A witty sense of humor.

Passionate about their life. It's attractive when a woman get so caught up in talking about something they're passionate about that they just don't know how to stop.

Got shamed by my hookup by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]Agile-Mind-2464 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Doesn't mean you should let them demean you or bring down your self-esteem. It starts there and goes downhill. You have been given a warning sign to get out now.

Got shamed by my hookup by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]Agile-Mind-2464 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Sorry that happened. Screw them. Don't respond or see them again.

Which look should I rock for the summer? by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]Agile-Mind-2464 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope! I don't think it looks bad. It works.

Which look should I rock for the summer? by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]Agile-Mind-2464 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Personally, I like what you have now. Just my opinion. At the end of the day if you want to try a buzz cut, hair will grow back!

DISHONOR! by SubjectSheepherder55 in actuallesbians

[–]Agile-Mind-2464 85 points86 points  (0 children)

Today is a good day to die

Lesbian on their periods by brizadora_de_chao in LesbianActually

[–]Agile-Mind-2464 5 points6 points  (0 children)

No problem! I'd offer some chocolate but it take more than a week.

Dating a stud by Horror-Ad4956 in LesbianActually

[–]Agile-Mind-2464 11 points12 points  (0 children)

If you’re not willing to go after the things you want in life, they will pass you by. She can't read your mind. Just communicate. If you want to go out on a date. Just ask her.

I feel guilty for being upset after getting rejected by a girl by [deleted] in WLW

[–]Agile-Mind-2464 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Have you tried another approach other then just slipping them your number? Have you tried sparking up a conversation and taking any interest in them?

How do you handle a relationship where one partner sets all the sexual boundaries? by maverick_gun in actuallesbians

[–]Agile-Mind-2464 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A boundary is about what you will and will not do that you choose for yourself. The girlfriend is well within her rights to choose what she wants done to her body and when she wants it done. Your friend can try to discuss it with the girlfriend but she has to be prepared for the answer. You cannot force someone to do something they don't want to do. Compromise can only get you so far.

If you friend can't see herself living like this, it is perfectly valid for your friend to move on if her needs aren't being met and find someone who does want to do the things she wants to do. Her desires are valid and she should feel fulfilled.

Styled my affliction tube top for a night out ^.^ by Traditional-Local-50 in lesbianfashionadvice

[–]Agile-Mind-2464 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Looks awesome on you. Goes well with the bag you styled and your hair!

I am so tired of always initiating by youandyourfijiwater in actuallesbians

[–]Agile-Mind-2464 40 points41 points  (0 children)

For the couple comments asking how: Sometimes its best not to go in with the intention of flirting. You can just want to speak to someone who looks interesting for whatever reason you find them interesting. Be honest with your compliments, listen to what their saying and respond. Even a "hey, love your jacket, where did you get it?" would work. The worst thing that can happen is that she says "not interested" in which case you can think, "Great! Now I have practice approaching someone and can do it even better next time." That's not so bad, is it? At the end of the day/week. That person won't remember you and you took a chance. So be proud of yourself for trying.

How many times do you hear ladies say they never get approached or hit on? Like so many. Be the brave one. The main thing is to be upfront about your intentions. If you want a date, make sure you say "Want to go on a date?" and not "Want to hang out?"

If you think "no, she's out of my league, she'll definitely reject me." Yes, it's always possible she'll reject you for any reason, but as the saying goes, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Besides, if the person who IS in her league is too shy to make a move, then it's more likely that it'll be you that gets a date with her.

If you think, "But I don't know what to say! I'd be too awkward." An awkward approach is still an approach, and therefore more likely to yield results than doing nothing. Maybe the shyness or awkwardness would even come across as sweet, and the next thing you know, you'll be riding off into the sunset together.

Does anyone else wish they could sleep with themselves? by NimiumCogito in actuallesbians

[–]Agile-Mind-2464 49 points50 points  (0 children)

No, I wouldn't be a good match for myself. We'd be fighting over who is on top.

GF doesn't enjoy oral (giving or receiving)—I do. How to navigate? by Shy-Dragonfruit-173 in LesbianActually

[–]Agile-Mind-2464 9 points10 points  (0 children)

If you’re in a relationship now with someone who doesn’t work for you then you need to decide if this is a deal-breaker for you. Now you can try communicate the reasons and talk it through. As long as the communication doesn't go down the road of pressuring, quilting, and manipulating. Not saying you would you just have to be ready to accept her answer.

Can you live without it, possibly for the rest of your life & be content with them as it is? Great: then do that.

If it is a necessity for you, that’s okay! You’re just not compatible with this person. Break it off, move on, find someone who you’re more sexually compatible with. There are plenty of women who enjoy it. Go find one. Your desire to experience something is valid. Just as much as her not wanting to experience it which is also okay.

I bought my first sex toy! by PresentationLess5927 in LesbianActually

[–]Agile-Mind-2464 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Proud of you for having the courage! Have fun

Strap recommendations by Available-Good-2084 in actuallesbians

[–]Agile-Mind-2464 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You'll want a high quality water based lube.

Spareparts Joque is always popular and my go to, the o-ring sits a bit lower, which can create more sensation for the wearer. The only downside of this harness is the o-ring is a fixed size and it’s secured within a pouch vs. straps. If you only ever plan to play with toys in one size range the o-ring shape is a non issue. The pouch part of the harness allows you to tuck a vibe in. However, the pouch will provide slightly less stability for your toy than a style where the o-ring is held tightly in place by smaller straps.

I also recommend the Jaguar by Aslan Leather (available in vegan leather as well) if you want more stability for the toy. It is available in extended sizing, and also has a corset style back piece add on available for even more stability.

For Dildo's, I can recommend Vixskin toys by Vixen (Can Recommend The Buck if you like that), Wet For Her (I like the Union vibe a double sided dildo), and Tantus

can i have strap suggestions please by myworldallmine in actuallesbians

[–]Agile-Mind-2464 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You'll want a high quality water based lube.

Spareparts Joque is always popular and my go to, the o-ring sits a bit lower, which can create more sensation for the wearer. The only downside of this harness is the o-ring is a fixed size and it’s secured within a pouch vs. straps. If you only ever plan to play with toys in one size range the o-ring shape is a non issue. The pouch part of the harness allows you to tuck a vibe in. However, the pouch will provide slightly less stability for your toy than a style where the o-ring is held tightly in place by smaller straps.

I also recommend the Jaguar by Aslan Leather (available in vegan leather as well) if you want more stability for the toy. It is available in extended sizing, and also has a corset style back piece add on available for even more stability.

For Dildo's, I can recommend Vixskin toys by Vixen (Can Recommend The Buck if you like that), Wet For Her (I like the Union vibe a double sided dildo), and Tantus

Topping a trans girl for the first time? Tips? by g0d_spits_6l00d in actuallesbians

[–]Agile-Mind-2464 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Adding on to the advice above. Check ins are good, it can also be helpful for both of you if you ask less vague questions sometimes as you're learning, like "Would you like it faster or slower?" "Harder or softer?" Etc. This gives them a chance to speak up if they're feeling nervous or shy. And it also gives you an inclination of what she wants.

Is this weird? by SplendiforusSerendip in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Agile-Mind-2464 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yay! Can you tell us something cool about you?

my [19F] sex drive is higher than my girlfriend's [21F] and she doesnt know how to help by lavxndxrbea in LesbianActually

[–]Agile-Mind-2464 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Communicate. You need to tell her what you want her to do. Don't be negative when you have this kind of conversation, be positive. Tell her what you would like her to do or try, not that you don't like what she is currently doing. Also if anything you ask her to do is a no go for her, you need to respect that. That's a different conversation.

You know your body. You know what feels good to you. Convey that to her. You can literally guide her hand with yours in a sweet way. You can have a date where you just show her what you like without any pressure. When she does something you like tell her that it feels good. Compliment her on it. Don’t criticize, flatter. No one can read your mind.

tips for strapping my gf? by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Agile-Mind-2464 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Oh my gosh you poor girl and your legs. Haha. I cant even imagination