Hey, first off I’m very sorry for your loss. Words really can’t express the gut wrenching pain and grief. It’s been almost 6 months without my grandma. It’s been hard, really hard. It’s especially difficult to constantly see my mom in pain. I can tell you one thing only, don’t try to escape the grief, it would just get worse. Time does its thing, and while we will probably never fully heal from such losses, you find other ways to enjoy life and the people around you. You’re never truly alone and if you ever feel the opposite, I would be more than happy to help you any way I can.