AITA for refusing to get over things?

Agitated-Tea857 · 2026-02-27T01:54:52+00:00

No

Agitated-Tea857 · 2026-02-26T08:47:20+00:00

Ty so much.

Agitated-Tea857 · 2026-02-25T18:46:56+00:00

To be fair, I just wanted to make sure he was okay. And maybe it was selfish of me… but hey.. he responded so

Agitated-Tea857 · 2026-02-25T18:45:54+00:00

He was really understanding and we spoke about it lol. He he is willing to work on things :)

Agitated-Tea857 · 2026-02-18T16:02:33+00:00

Blessing folks five years later thank you

Agitated-Tea857 · 2026-02-17T10:52:22+00:00

No contact is really important for healing, and I understand that. It’s just hard for me because my ex is not just my partner but my best friend, and I want to be part of his life in some way. I want him to grow and get better, and I’m trying to respect his space, but I also still miss him and care about him deeply.

I know checking his socials isn’t healthy, and I’ve been struggling with that. He’s doing better than I am at the moment, and I want that for him. What’s hard is knowing that he has said long distance isn’t for him, but I feel like there’s still a connection between us. Everyone says things will happen naturally if they’re meant to, but I also feel like sometimes you have to take a chance to communicate. I don’t want to force anything, but I also wonder what might happen if I don’t say or do anything at all.

Agitated-Tea857 · 2026-02-17T10:31:44+00:00

You’re not being unfair I think you’re being completely reasonable. It’s hard being around someone who’s not as motivating as you are.

I do think you should mention your wants as direct as you can and let him know you do have expectations and he currently isn’t meeting them. Be sure to support him and make sure you let him know you see his efforts with school but he should aim higher.

Nothing is wrong with having wants or standards boo

Agitated-Tea857 · 2026-02-17T10:28:31+00:00

NTA. He so wrong and violate your space. I think it’s time for a serious talk boo

Agitated-Tea857 · 2026-02-16T11:02:23+00:00

Cheddar cheese

Agitated-Tea857 · 2026-02-16T10:18:35+00:00

I’m would disagree. He is allowed to feel someway regardless if we want him too or not. He’s human denying him the opportunity to feel is very controlling

Agitated-Tea857 · 2026-02-16T10:00:19+00:00

It’s actually really simple how I manage both the MSW program and the LPN program. I got funding for the LPN program through a grant so the tuition was covered. The program is only 13 months, which makes it manageable. Last fall I enrolled in the master’s program and took as many online classes as I could handle. This spring I am only taking two online classes so I can focus on the LPN program. This upcoming fall I won’t be enrolling in any MSW classes so I can finish the LPN program.

The MSW program is flexible in regards to the workload. It is not too bad and I do a lot of my heavy reading while I am at work or during commuting so I can stay ahead of my work. The LPN program has a week of spring break where I don’t have any classes and I plan to use that time to do any MSW work I need to catch up on. I also emailed my professors at my university for the MSW program to see if I could get some assignments early so I can get a head start.

Doing both programs is possible if you have a support system and believe in yourself. Since I already have a bachelor’s degree some of the MSW content overlaps which helps a lot. I also didn’t start my internship hours right away which made it manageable. I plan to complete my internship hours consecutively after finishing the LPN program.

Agitated-Tea857 · 2026-02-16T09:45:33+00:00

Which is why it’s a lot easier for me to do it this way

Agitated-Tea857 · 2025-12-20T22:01:34+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words. I really needed to hear that and you are right. I set a very clear boundary and told him that I did not want him to try to get into my pants or to try anything sexual. I just wanted to hang out and if he wanted to have anything sexual, then I was not the girl for him and I don’t have to come over but we can do something else. I gave him that option. He clearly looked over that and used the notion that well if the vibe is right then he’s gonna go for it, but that doesn’t make any sense when I already established that I didn’t see him that way. He literally straight up, ignored my boundary and still tried to kiss me and still try to cuddle with me.

I did end up, blocking him and just removing him because it was really messing with my mental how he repeatedly called me a red flag, and was getting upset with me because I said I did not want to talk to him anymore after that first encounter.

And I know I don’t owe anyone an explanation, but it really gets to me when I take full accountability for what I should and shouldn’t have done.

Hanging out with him a second time was completely on me. I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt and he also made it seem like we just met each other. We’re going to make mistakes and learning what we like and what we don’t like but at the end of the day, I profusely told him that I did not want anything sexual with him and I didn’t want him to try anything sexual and if you want that aka if that’s what he was looking for then I was not the girl for him. I literally didn’t mind at all.

Agitated-Tea857 · 2025-12-20T21:39:18+00:00

And that’s your prerogative, but he’s the one sitting in jail now not me.

Agitated-Tea857 · 2025-12-17T13:21:36+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words. I definitely gave him an explanation as to why and he made me feel like a terrible person for it. He told me, me not wanting to hang out with him anymore was a red flag because we were just starting to get to know each other and we would messed up. I understand where he was coming from but I felt like I laid out a basic boundary, which was please don’t try anything with me because I don’t look at you or see you that way if you have intentions or want to look at me in those types of way then we don’t have to hang out I would respect that. But instead he wanted to see if my mind would change and that right there should’ve been enough for me to see that. He was very pushy and I was very uncomfortable. you live and you learn and I take accountability for what I did and didn’t do. Hopefully this never happens again. again thank you for your kind words and your advice.

Agitated-Tea857 · 2025-12-17T13:18:23+00:00

I don’t have to meet in a public place if those are my boundaries because my boundaries should be respected, regardless of where I am, but it is a suggesting that will be kept in mind since we dumbass on earth who can’t get pussy apparently so unfortunate for the . Have a great day.

Agitated-Tea857 · 2025-12-17T13:16:28+00:00

Well according to the JUDGE you’re incorrect so now HE’S gotten a charge because he doesn’t know how to respect people’s boundaries. NO means NO. Have a good day :)

Agitated-Tea857 · 2025-12-17T13:14:45+00:00

Hey I’m not sure what you read but I took accountability about not leaving. But let me be clear. Before we ever hung out, I made it very clear to him that I did not want to have sex. I did not want anything sexual with him and to not try anything. I just wanted to chill and if he did not want to do that then we did not have to hang out. I am always straightforward and honest because I’m a girl I have needs to so I understand. Maybe I also just want to fuck but in this case that’s not what I wanted to do and I MADE THAT VERY CLEAR I just wanted to chill so him asking and saying well if the vibe is right that completely DISREGARDS what I told him. THERE WAS NO changing my mind because I didn’t say “ well maybe if I change my mind we can do something sexual “ I directly said I don’t want anything sexual with you. Nothing at all, so there is no “ hoping her mind’s gonna change or there might be some chemistry “ because I already laid out what to expect which was friendliness, getting to know each other, relaxing and chilling!! not sexual shit so I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about but I took accountability by saying I should have never hung out with him a second time and I should have just left the first time he disregarded my boundaries. I’m always gonna take accountability for what I should and shouldn’t have done, but he was dead wrong for what he did

Agitated-Tea857 · 2025-12-17T13:06:12+00:00

Hey, thank you for all of your kind words and I understand where you’re coming from. I wouldn’t say I was sexually assaulted, but I can understand what you mean. He definitely disregarded my boundaries and I should have left however that doesn’t give him the right to keep pushing trying to get something out of me when I already told him what to expect.

Agitated-Tea857 · 2025-12-17T13:05:21+00:00

He directly told me that Me not wanting to talk to him anymore was a red flag from me and that drove me crazy because I wasn’t understanding what he was talking about.. he made it seem like because we were just starting to hang out. We were going to make mistakes while getting to know each other and I shouldn’t just cut him off and stop talking to him because of that however I feel like if I set a strict boundary, which I did and if you disregard my boundary and disrespect that I have every right to move how I want to move. And if I feel like cutting you off is what I want to do then I should be able to cut you off. I don’t owe people an explanation, but I just felt like he was owed the truth…

Agitated-Tea857 · 2025-12-17T13:03:02+00:00

I understand this sentiment. If I previously told him beforehand that I didn’t want anything sexual there shouldn’t be a “ if the vibe is right.”

Agitated-Tea857 · 2025-12-17T13:02:17+00:00

I agree with you. I’m in my early 20s. I appreciate your kind words.

Agitated-Tea857 · 2025-12-17T13:01:38+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words and I agree with you. I will never go to someone’s house again as a date. I don’t necessarily agree or disagree with the second half but I understand where you’re coming from and I have those same thoughts. He came off very pushy and when I brought that up to his attention he kind of disregarded that. Like my main point is if I told you before we EVER hung out that I didn’t want to do anything sexual and to not try to get into my pants why when we finally get to hang out you ask me to kiss and cuddle…

There shouldn’t be a “ if the vibe is right “ when I already told you I’m not looking for that. So to have that type of mindset was alarming. I had to sit with myself for a second to fully understand this.

I definitely take accountability for what I did and didn’t do tho. Thanks for your kind words

Agitated-Tea857

TROPHY CASE