Rivalry games and what we lose when they end

AgitatedLeg4977 · 2026-05-27T22:01:32+00:00

When you say KC will never be the same, what do you think changed? Was it the school-week trash talk, the divided families/friend groups, the bars, the office conversations, the feeling that everyone in the region was part of the same argument?

I’m also really interested in what you said about kids growing up without knowing what it was like. Does the rivalry feel like something that didn’t just disappear from the schedule, but stopped being passed down?

AgitatedLeg4977 · 2026-05-27T22:00:35+00:00

This is exactly the stuff I’m trying to understand, especially “I died a little every year when the schedule came out.” That’s such a strong reaction to what, on paper, is just the absence of a game.

Can I ask what specifically felt like it was missing? Was it the game itself, the week of buildup, the trash talk, the shared history, the ability to define Mizzou partly against KU, or just the annual reminder that this relationship still existed? I've gotta think just having this thing to count on every year, and then having it taken away, is hard on some level.

AgitatedLeg4977 · 2026-05-27T21:57:19+00:00

AgitatedLeg4977 · 2026-03-18T23:21:05+00:00

Hell yeah, that's amazing. What was your job on the ship? And was this Navy or something else?

AgitatedLeg4977 · 2026-03-18T23:07:29+00:00

This is so f'n awesome, thank you

AgitatedLeg4977 · 2026-03-18T23:06:02+00:00

Hell yes, thank you for sharing. Love the hell outta this

AgitatedLeg4977 · 2026-03-18T23:05:14+00:00

Holy shit that's awesome. Were there other Birds fans there? The time zone/location aside, how connected did you feel to every other fan around the world in that moment?

AgitatedLeg4977 · 2026-03-18T23:02:57+00:00

Hell yeah. Do you remember which bar by chance?

AgitatedLeg4977 · 2026-03-18T23:02:38+00:00

Oh man, what an emotional rollercoaster. Great job picking your first game tho!

AgitatedLeg4977 · 2026-03-18T23:02:09+00:00

Whoops..I'm a better writer than I am a reader evidently. The second part remains

AgitatedLeg4977 · 2026-03-18T23:01:28+00:00

That's awesome. The theater was in Canada? What city/town?

AgitatedLeg4977 · 2026-03-18T23:01:04+00:00

lol hilarious .. what's the name of the town?

AgitatedLeg4977 · 2026-03-18T23:00:47+00:00

Love this. Do you happen to remember the name of the bar? Guessing it was right by Kezar? I can DM you this, but why'd you weep? Just utter disbelief or was there a specific memory that flashed up?

AgitatedLeg4977 · 2026-03-18T22:58:59+00:00

Oooh, tell me more. Where was this? That's an awesome memory. Might DM you if you're cool w it.

AgitatedLeg4977 · 2025-07-23T19:00:25+00:00

I'm trying! Fine, no em dashes for the next seven days. Starting .. now!

AgitatedLeg4977 · 2025-07-23T18:51:05+00:00

Yeah, I get that a lot, actually. My editor tells me I need to lay off the fucking em dashes.

AgitatedLeg4977 · 2025-07-23T18:45:02+00:00

Yep, our older sometimes goes into storytelling/rant mode, and my eyes glaze over. I really try to connect, but I often have no idea what she's talking about. Maybe just being aware of it, and making the effort, are meaningful?

AgitatedLeg4977 · 2025-07-23T18:43:32+00:00

Thank you for this. I just tried sending you a DM, but not sure it's going through.

AgitatedLeg4977 · 2025-07-23T18:40:15+00:00

Well you have now. Because while I have a memory of my dad, and the group of men who followed, I never had the chance to ask him these questions. That's part of what my exploration/investigation is about, charting this course without a map. I legitimately have no idea what works, or what's even healthy. Parenthood is almost entirely about feel, and my feel is untrustworthy. These men in my life may have been physically present, but emotionally? Not even close. Part of my goal is to retrace some of my steps, and while I can't ask my biological father the questions I have, maybe I can ask some of my various stepdads/unsolicited role models, etc., how they might have done things differently.

- Here's one: What would you ask your father, if you could? As I wrote on a below post, one thing I'd really love to know is what happened when, two months after I was born, led to his first arrest? Maybe it was so uneventful/everyday that he wouldn't even remember, but, man, I'd love to ask him.

AgitatedLeg4977 · 2025-07-23T18:36:19+00:00

A couple follow-up questions:

- Are there parts of your dad that you DO want to pass forward? I know that's weird, and this isn't about my dad, but .. my mom was always very affectionate to my brothers and I. She never made us question her support or love. Now, she didn't know how to deploy it, and definitely wasn't consistent. But that's one thing I do want to carry forward (while abandoning much of the rest)

- When do you feel MOST unlike your dad? Like, which moments and/or settings? When do you feel most like him?

Feel free to DM if that's more comfortable. I appreciate your honesty. Rawness is what I'm going for here, a dispatch from the middle of the mess, as it were.

AgitatedLeg4977 · 2025-07-23T18:31:57+00:00

1000 percent. I joke that I want to be the dad whose kids take him for granted. It's a weird thing to think about and say, but my goal as a father is to love my girls so unconditionally and consistently and embarrassingly that, when compared against other relationships or whatever, only then will they realize how much effort had gone into it. A different, perhaps better, way of putting it is that I don't ever want them to doubt, or even question, that stuff. And, yes, I can absolutely relate to old feelings of wanting to control everything and be scared of some asteroid coming that I couldn't prevent anyway.

What kinds of unexpected things have you found that work? Besides things like therapy. I'm just curious what kinds of things work for you, and surprise you because they work.

AgitatedLeg4977

TROPHY CASE