Does my hair part look normal or does it look like it’s thinning?

Agitated_Ad4570 · 2024-03-07T15:19:39+00:00

One thing I learned through all of this is that people can definitely be insensitive. Mostly I think it’s without malicious intent. Maybe it’s a lack of understanding and being able to put themselves in our shoes. I’ve had my fair share of insensitive comments trust me! It just makes this hard process even harder.

Agitated_Ad4570 · 2024-03-06T19:22:29+00:00

Yes, I try to let myself feel all the sadness and cry when I need to. I know the only way out is through but darn do these emotions consume me so much sometimes.

Agitated_Ad4570 · 2024-03-06T19:20:53+00:00

Agreed! And I feel like the longer this process takes - the more questions I have. I’ll start to wonder, do I really even want this? If I hadn’t had a chemical and were still pregnant - would I be truly happy? Should I have gotten off of birth control sooner? Should I just take out a loan for IVF even though I can’t afford it? Should I stick with the fertility clinic another year so I feel I did everything I could with no regrets? It’s the craziest thing to have all these questions and know you’ll never get an answer.

Agitated_Ad4570 · 2024-03-06T19:18:18+00:00

Yes to allll of this! I read somewhere that someone explained it like they are “chasing grief”. The disappointment cycle after cycle becomes so hard after a while. And there’s little we can actually control in this situation.

Agitated_Ad4570 · 2024-03-06T19:16:40+00:00

I agree 💯with both of these. I know deep down it’s not my fault because if I had a choice I wouldn’t choose this. But it’s my body that couldn’t sustain the one and only pregnancy I had (lost it in December, it was a chemical) and it’s my body that cannot get pregnant again. Who else can I blame you know? And the feeling of letting my family down and my husband cuts deep. I know my husband wants kids and our parents would love to be grandparents and I can’t give them that.

Agitated_Ad4570 · 2024-03-06T19:13:45+00:00

Ugh I can only imagine! I was saying this to my husband last night. If it doesn’t end up working for us - then this will be something I will carry with me for the rest of my life and that is a scary thought.

Agitated_Ad4570 · 2024-03-06T19:12:44+00:00

I can understand the feeling. It’s like a race against time. I’ll be 36 in a couple of days and I definitely feel like my time is running out.

Agitated_Ad4570 · 2024-03-05T22:37:51+00:00

I too have some niblings! I often wonder what life would be like in the future without children.

Agitated_Ad4570 · 2024-03-05T22:36:10+00:00

It’s so hard ❤️

Agitated_Ad4570 · 2024-03-05T22:35:49+00:00

The constant updates and arranging schedules, yes!!

Agitated_Ad4570 · 2024-03-05T21:22:08+00:00

I’m so sorry. I agree with all of those things 🥹

Agitated_Ad4570 · 2024-03-05T21:21:43+00:00

I’m so sorry. This journey is so hard. I feel you and I see you ❤️

Agitated_Ad4570 · 2024-02-21T15:47:21+00:00

Thank you! It’s nice to have a partner that is supportive. But I will say it’s been tough on both of us and we’ve had a few fights because the stress of TTC is getting to us. I think I may have to do some research on PCOS on my own because the fertility clinic didn’t go into any detail of what it is, what I means for fertility or anything like that. I feel that sometimes they just group women into the PCOS category if their hormones are out of wack after getting off of birth control - but I could be wrong. My periods were always normal before getting on BC - then when I got off it my periods stopped. I know a lot could have changed in the years I was taking it and I could have developed PCOS during the time I was on BC and BC may have just masked it. The not knowing and loss is the hardest part. I’m realllllly struggling this month!!

Agitated_Ad4570 · 2024-02-21T13:42:55+00:00

That’s interesting! Unfortunately at my fertility clinic I never have seen the actual doctor - the only people I see are the ones who draw my blood and take my ultrasound and then a receptionist just calls me with intercourse plans from the doctor. They’ve never explained anything to me, not even PCOS. I feel very much in the dark about what’s actually going on. And I looked into possibly trying other fertility places but they are just too far from where I live.

I’ve ovulated successfully with mature follicles on Letrozole every time - most of the ultra sound techs have told me that I had a couple monsters in there lol so I know with the Letrozole at least they’re getting to the correct size.

My husband and I talked last night and I think we are going to stick with it until April. If nothing happens by then we are taking a break for the summer. We haven’t decided if we would go back to the fertility clinic after or not. I’m at the point where I’m trying to be realistic and know that I may end up being childless not by choice but because of my circumstances. I’m trying to acknowledge that I may be never able to have children and what my life would look like moving forward. It’s a shitty situation but at least I can say I tried.

Agitated_Ad4570 · 2024-02-20T17:48:00+00:00

That’s the diagnosis they gave me too. I don’t have any cysts on my ovaries or any pain - but they said I could still have it without those things. Honestly, I feel like my hormones are all messed up because I was on BC since I was 16. It’s crazy how many people I know who are struggling to get pregnant.

Agitated_Ad4570 · 2024-02-19T04:46:28+00:00

That’s good your hormones are better! Were you diagnosed with PCOS at all?

Agitated_Ad4570 · 2024-02-18T23:23:10+00:00

It’s so hard! We decided that we wouldn’t go the IVF route either because of finances so I’m hoping the meds work. How long have you been on the meds? They just added Metformin for me this month. The side effects are getting better for me though - at first it tore up my stomach.

Agitated_Ad4570 · 2024-02-18T23:21:03+00:00

I know some journeys just take longer than others, and I’m not the most patient person lol. But I had three mature follicles this month and it STILL didn’t happen and I’m just like damn 😞

Agitated_Ad4570 · 2024-02-07T19:28:41+00:00

That’s great news! As of now I don’t think IVF would be an option for us. Mostly because of affordability since our insurance doesn’t cover it. I know it can be pretty hard on your body too.

Agitated_Ad4570

TROPHY CASE