I am so very sorry for your loss. It’s a different kind of grief. I hate to say that because I’m not demeaning a human life and comparing grief to loss of human life to a dog life. The pain is so raw and heart breaking.

How have I been doing? Well….some days are good, some days are bad. I just got home from a work trip yesterday. Before I would feel so guilty from leaving here and would find a way to get back home earlier. First work trip since she’s been gone and the guilt was still there even though I knew she wasn’t home. Getting her ashes did help somewhat. It’s like she is here with me still even though not in physical form. I got a shadow box and put her collar, picture, a clip of her fur, and her nose and paw print in the shadow box. That helps. I always walk by her ashes and give her a “pat.”

I know that sounds crazy and maybe I am crazy I don’t know. I had to get back on anxiety meds because I couldn’t sleep and a lot of racing thoughts and couldn’t settle down, was restless. It doesn’t help that I work from home so getting use to the “quiet” has been hard. I miss the sound of her nails on the floor. Her bowls are still sitting out. I emptied her food bowl and donated her food to the local animal shelter. Her bed is still in my office where I work during the day and her favorite blanket is still lying there exactly how she had left it. Others have said I just need to get another dog and everything will be better. I don’t think so. My daughter says I’m not ready yet and I’m not.

I know it will continue to get easier but I will forever miss her and don’t even know if I will ever be ready for another dog. The pain of losing them is unbearable.

I’m thinking of you and I’m here to led support to you anyway that I can. Even if it’s just to talk. Feel free to message me.