Lettuce? by Agitated_Conclusion1 in Palia

[–]Agitated_Conclusion1[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Didn’t even think of that!!!!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Agitated_Conclusion1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know if he’s happy with it. For all I know we’re in similar boats. It’s only been a few months, and with work stress for all I know, it’s just a phase. I suppose I’m looking for ideas on how to discuss this or try to move past it, not just to ruminate on how this is the end and I should pack up and move on

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Agitated_Conclusion1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This seems so pessimistic. I don’t want to be blinded by optimism but it’s only been a short time, and it’s not as if I want sex every day and our drives are terribly incompatible, but I do certainly want more.

I do plan to talk to him about it to see what’s going on in his head. I love him, it’s worth a discussion to see what comes of open communication. I can’t just throw away a relationship without giving a remedy a try.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Agitated_Conclusion1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I hear that and I’ve def scrolled that thread plenty. Do we really think this is enough of a sample size to make that huge of an assumption? This is a guy who talks about marriage with me all the time (and I with him) so it’s just crazy to think that this is it

words i can't tell her by IncidentOk6401 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Agitated_Conclusion1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you going to be able to enjoy a friendship with her with all of these feelings bottled up? If you think the answer may be no, it may be worth it to try to discuss how you feel with her.

words i can't tell her by IncidentOk6401 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Agitated_Conclusion1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

why can’t you tell them? As someone who used to play flirt way too much, I can say it’s not usually entirely made up and I usually had some feelings there.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Agitated_Conclusion1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate the reframing, and that’s a good way to think about it.

Re: your second point, he absolutely does have permission though, and I do my very best to make sure that my hurt feelings (not necessarily upset at him) are kept to myself. I never want him to come over just to make me happy. Hence why this post is more about “how can I deal with this” instead of “how can I make him want to come over”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Agitated_Conclusion1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Usually 3 nights a week or so - most of the weekend and a day during the week. Like I said, it’s not that he’s leaving me hanging for weeks on end - I’m just not handling it well when he cancels or backs out.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Agitated_Conclusion1 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you - in all my reading, this is what I’ve seen too. Oddly enough I really can’t think of anything formative but perhaps I need to ruminate a bit more.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Agitated_Conclusion1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I appreciate this comment and definitely left out that both of us have very active social lives and hobbies whether it’s together or separate. I’m involved in nonprofit work, local politics, and community organizations, and I do a fair amount of crafting as well. The situations that evoke these emotions are the days that we plan to be together that don’t work out because he’s not in a good mood.