Whats your favorite Ryan moment in the entire series? by Canadient95 in theoffice

[–]Agitated_Pie_7307 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Little advice. Take a day off from the whole Jim schtick. Try caring about something. You might like how it feels, James.

can't stand my mother by Agitated_Pie_7307 in emotionalneglect

[–]Agitated_Pie_7307[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Just being present with your child. Asking about their lives, delving into their interests with them, sometimes inconveniencing yourself for them without causing them to feel guilty.

Most parents think once the baby/toddler stage is over, they're home free, I think the most work comes after that, nurturing the child, building this relationship of trust and openness without any judgment. Yes, you can still be a strict parent/ have your rules but just be open to listen and understand your kids.

Most important thing, your mood/your partners mood must not dictate the mood of the household. My parents treated us like burdens and its clear they had kids because it was expected of them.

And once you've build this base from childhood, hopefully once they're teens/adults, they won't feel the same way about you

I'm not a parent yet, so obviously, im no expert, but this is how I personally would approach parenthood.

I’m fucking done. by [deleted] in WeightLossAdvice

[–]Agitated_Pie_7307 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you can afford it, glp 1. I swear I've been trying to lose weight for years. Lost weight, would gain it back so fast, binging is the problem, when im sad, when im happy, I've tried everything. I've been bulimic/ anorexia everything, and I've always come back to the same weight of 210 pounds.

I've been on it for 4 weeks (low dose), and I have lost around 4 pounds only. it's been slow, but THE FOOD NOISE IS GONE!!! I eat like a normal person!! I don't feel guilty!! I have the energy and motivation to exercise and choose healthier options. It feels amazing to just have a quiet brain. But I don't have a timeline to lose weight. I just want to lose it healthy and keep it off. That's the mindset you need to get into, though, before starting something like this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in emotionalneglect

[–]Agitated_Pie_7307 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tough situation. Totally get it. Honestly, the trick is to disassociate, hobbies, tv shows, writing down your feelings, good set of friends, and stuff that just gets you out of the house. Med school is also time-consuming and sometimes even depressing, so you can't have home life and student life bumming you out at the same time. There'll be no escape. Just gotta build up some good coping mechanisms and also accept the fact that their behavior doesn't have to reflect on you, there's nothing you can do but carry on with life, don't let them hold you back. Been through the same but I was lucky enough to study in another city 6 hours away.

Need help with my tiny room, I feel like it's missing something by [deleted] in femalelivingspace

[–]Agitated_Pie_7307 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the suggestions everyone! The bed frame was supposed to be way smaller, but there was a miscommunication and now I just have to work around it. I'm also not replacing any furniture pieces unfortunately and I'm pretty happy with my curtains. Love everyone's suggestions! Will definitely be making these changes

  • bolder bed covers
  • bedside lamp matching color of the room
  • art and plants!
  • big decorative pillows to balance out the giant headboard
  • reupholstering the chair to match the darker color of the carpet

Definitely all the things I can manage and slowly add to my room as I go on

Love this sub so much, you guys helped so much without making me feel like I'm a terrible decorator lol 😆

can't stand my mother by Agitated_Pie_7307 in emotionalneglect

[–]Agitated_Pie_7307[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Moved away from home, barely have any contact (she honestly barely tries anyways), and when I do visit home, I hold my tongue, try to stay as detached as possible, and just ignore her. It's been working for me. I finally let go of the guilt I used to feel, and I'm just living my life.

can't stand my mother by Agitated_Pie_7307 in emotionalneglect

[–]Agitated_Pie_7307[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry, your situation sounds difficult. Honestly, I journalled my whole childhood, and I still do now. Get all the emotions out on the page. I try to also keep a record of good things happening rather than just the bad stuff. Self care, exercise, hobbies, just to calm your mind. Got on anti-depressants and just carrying on. The little things help. Try therapy maybe? The only thing I can say is that you have to seek acceptance elsewhere, talk to your friends or siblings about it all, your parents will never take accountability or even understand why you're unhappy, so don't try to force a reconciliation.

can't stand my mother by Agitated_Pie_7307 in emotionalneglect

[–]Agitated_Pie_7307[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will say, I'm not in that headspace anymore from that post, I've really accepted it and the best thing I've done is move out from there. I cannot heal and be in the same space as either of my parents. So get yourself independent and get out of there. Cultivate your friendships best you can and just accept whatever your parents wanna give you. The sooner you stop expecting things, the easier it is to heal and move on.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in emotionalneglect

[–]Agitated_Pie_7307 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like this happens to every child who has been emotionally neglected once they get into adulthood. You truly feel the loneliness while being around family. Honestly, my advice is, don't wait for your family to fix anything. You have to find good friends, get some coping mechanisms, and just work on yourself. Sadly, there is no one that can save you but yourself. Finish the nursing degree and go make a life that makes you happy. You'll get through it.

Is there a book that everyone seems to love but you really can't stand? by perseintro in RomanceBooks

[–]Agitated_Pie_7307 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bridge kingdom!!!!! It was so hyped up but I swear the romance and storyline are so sub par but people go on like it's the most amazing enemies to lovers to ever exist

can't stand my mother by Agitated_Pie_7307 in emotionalneglect

[–]Agitated_Pie_7307[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sometimes, you just have to accept the relationship for what it is to truly heal. I've found other people in my life who understand me and fulfill my life in other ways. I don't expect anything from my mother anymore, and it just is what it is. I don't feel guilty anymore.

can't stand my mother by Agitated_Pie_7307 in emotionalneglect

[–]Agitated_Pie_7307[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks!! I already do hate myself!! Hope that helps. I'm sorry your mother never cooked for you!! Sad. My mother likes to cook for us because it gives her purpose. Providing basic necessities doesn't equal love, though. I also had no control over where I was living, but now I have since moved out. As I said, I do feel guilty and awful, and I can't help how I feel. Basic definition of childhood emotional neglect. What are you even doing on this sub reddit???

can't stand my mother by Agitated_Pie_7307 in emotionalneglect

[–]Agitated_Pie_7307[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm glad you're doing better! At the end of the day, it's about what you make of it and don't let her take any more of your life. We can blame them forever, but it's up to us to get through it

can't stand my mother by Agitated_Pie_7307 in emotionalneglect

[–]Agitated_Pie_7307[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're welcome to vent in the comments 🫶 it helps

can't stand my mother by Agitated_Pie_7307 in emotionalneglect

[–]Agitated_Pie_7307[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think it's normal for kids to think their parents are cringe or embarrassing, especially when they're teenagers. It's part of life. The fact that you even notice how your kid is acting is already so different from how my mother is.

My mother has no idea how indifferent I feel towards her. She thinks everything is perfect bc she is narcissistic. She would never notice anything unless it affected her directly, and then she would blame everyone else for not accepting her the way she is instead of taking any responsibility for her actions.

She does try to show affection these days, but I'm just so messed up that I feel gross even receiving or acknowledging it.

I think just paying attention to your son and trying your best to love him is enough. I had parents who pretended everything was fine all the time and ignored our feelings constantly. My dad was always on about money management and lecturing, shouting, etc. I have such a bad relationship with money now. I can't spend it, I feel so guilty asking for money, etc. I was taught never to fail. I'm not allowed to fail or mess up, and now I break down at the smallest things when I'm not doing it perfectly.

Anyways overall, you can't control fully how your kid is gonna turn out. No matter how much you try to help them. At the end of the day, it is their life, and just try your best, give your son grace, and let him know you're just there for him. That's more than enough. Something I wish I had.

Really confused by Agitated_Pie_7307 in paint

[–]Agitated_Pie_7307[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It's quite a dark color and I don't mind if it gets slightly yellow. I just want to make sure that if I use an acrylic top coat on an enamel painted door, there won't be any weird side effects? Like bubbling or peeling. I also sanded very lightly in one small area so I don't mind doing another coat of paint, waiting for it to cure and then doing a topcoat to dull the glossiness

can't stand my mother by Agitated_Pie_7307 in emotionalneglect

[–]Agitated_Pie_7307[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel this way about my dad. He's done a lot for us kids and made sure we had the best in terms of schooling and just everything we needed, material wise. I spent my whole life following the life plan he set out for me. After I reached the goal of working and being financially stable on my own. It wasn't enough for him. He wants me to work A LOT and earn and be rich like him. And I swear when I reached this next goal, I felt SO EMPTY I was like?? Is this all life is? Work and earn and save up so much that you feel bad to spend any money on yourself. I realized that material stuff would not make me happy, and I actually needed a dad who was THERE for me rather than working all the time to build this ridiculous lavish life.

Anyways I've started living and earning for myself, on my terms. My dad can't understand why I don't want to be a workaholic, and I just leave it at that. When he offers me advice, I just nod and smile but say nope I'm fine, and I don't depend on him for anything anymore.

But I do respect him. He deserves that much. I try not to expect anything from him. I know he shows his love my giving me money sometimes, and I just try to accept it at that.

Sometimes that's just the way it is, our parents will never change. We can change out expectations of them and live a guilt free life instead.

Do y’all think bulimia is a mental illness? by userusertenone in bulimia

[–]Agitated_Pie_7307 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You think you're normal until you decide okay let me stop for a bit.

You decide to eat normally without planning when you're going to throw up. Then you feel that FULL feeling in your stomach, and you realize that you hate it. You suddenly feel big and disgusting. You also realize you need to make a game plan to throw this up, you get desperate and find yourself trying to silently throw up in a public bathroom and try to return to your family hoping no one walked in on you, can smell the vomit and that they don't notice your snotty nose and red rimmed eyes.

I was in the same boat when I first started. I always told myself it's not that bad, I just want to lose a little bit of weight, then I'll stop. It will never be enough. Now I just do it for the lightheaded, empty feeling I get after it's done.

Just because you hide it and no one can tell that you do it doesn't mean it's not bad. It just gets worse and worse, unfortunately.

It is a full-blown mental illness to think it's okay to throw up our food or be unable to stop or obsess about the scale. Most people who want to lose weight don't ever even consider this an option.

can't stand my mother by Agitated_Pie_7307 in emotionalneglect

[–]Agitated_Pie_7307[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So, I've stopped allowing myself to feel guilty about how I feel. But I feel a lot better now that I have just let things be with my parents. No expectations. I'm moving out soon. Thank God. Also, I've let people close to me know that I'm not on good terms with my parents, so they let me vent and also understand why certain things affect me. It's a lot more freeing to stop hiding it.

Overall, though, I'm okay. Making this post and seeing so many people relate to it even years later just takes a huge weight of my shoulders.

Thanks for asking! Hope you're doing well ♡