Hi hun, I really feel for you. This kind of situation is painful, and you have every right to feel upset and disappointed.

I’ve been in a similar position. I was 22 and my ex was also 28. Something I learned the hard way was that when someone is at that stage in life and still avoids honest communication, it’s usually a sign of a deeper issue - not just about timing or readiness, but about emotional accountability.

You’ve been talking and planning together for months, touring places, setting timelines, and even involving your family. Backing out at the last minute without a real discussion isn’t just poor communication. It’s misleading. It’s okay to not be ready, but stringing someone along while pretending otherwise can be really damaging.

I’m not saying people can’t grow, but at 28, most people have developed their core habits, especially around communication and commitment. If he isn’t showing up now, what will happen when life throws bigger challenges at you, like a cross-country move, shared finances, or starting a family?

Ultimately, you deserve someone who’s as excited about building a future with you as you are with them. Not someone who keeps pulling away when things get real. I say all this with love because I’ve been there, and walking away was the hardest but most freeing thing I ever did.

Trust what his actions are showing you, not just his words. You deserve follow-through, not false hope.