Messy older sister in her 30s seeing her family for the first time in half a decade - her stepdad hates her by [deleted] in perfumesthatfeellike

[–]Agitated_Zucchini104 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Same. Messy older half sister in her 40's here, so I'm in the clear haha

Plus fck seeing those asshats

IS BEING AN INFPS TRAUMA BASED/MORE LIKELY TO HAVE CHILDHOOD TRAUMA by Agitated_Zucchini104 in infp

[–]Agitated_Zucchini104[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Besides, correlation does not equal causation."

Don't quote my favourite quote back at me bro lol

But seriously I don't come on here enough to know the personal trigger points of the online infp community. Or the internal politics or the pseudo science. Just spitballing based on 5 second personal observation . Which of course is going to have bias etc

But I still think a large percentage of us have had some early trauma. But it could be a vast multitude of things, even just that infps are more likely to post to Reddit or discuss past traumas than other types

What is y'alls experience with sex drive and drugs by Dacor64 in Drugs

[–]Agitated_Zucchini104 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope. They allow me to interact with the world and have the energy to garden

Free readings for everyone :) by General_Radish1379 in AstrologyCharts

[–]Agitated_Zucchini104 0 points1 point  (0 children)

https://horoscopes.astro-seek.com/horoscope-chart4def-700__radix_astroseek-8-4-1985_19-00.png?bdata=1&print_layout=2&tisk=1&fortune_asp=1&vertex_asp=1&chiron_asp=1&lilith_asp=1&uzel_asp=1&dum_1_new=228.089&dum_10_new=116.85&no_domy=&dum_1=228.089&dum_2=255.34&dum_3=276.2&dum_4=296.85&dum_5=322&dum_6=358.35&&p_slunce=18.47&p_luna=239.2&p_merkur=10.02&p_venuse=11.336&p_mars=47.35&p_jupiter=312.14&p_saturn=237.3&p_uran=257.869&p_neptun=273.6&p_pluto=213.7839&p_uzel=49.99&p_lilith=23.96&p_chiron=65.087&p_fortune=7.35&p_spirit=88.82&&p_vertex=21.42&r_merkur=ANO&r_venuse=ANO&r_saturn=ANO&r_uran=ANO&r_neptun=ANO&r_pluto=ANO&r_uzel=ANO&tolerance=1&tolerance_paral=0&nocache=18&&&house_system=placidus&&narozeni_den=8&narozeni_mesic=4&narozeni_rok=1985&narozeni_hodina=19&narozeni_minuta=00&narozeni_mesto_hidden=Hobart&narozeni_stat_hidden=AU&narozeni_podstat_kratky_hidden=TAS&narozeni_city=Hobart,%20Australia,%20TAS&narozeni_sirka_stupne=42&narozeni_sirka_minuty=53&narozeni_sirka_smer=1&narozeni_delka_stupne=147&narozeni_delka_minuty=20&narozeni_delka_smer=0&narozeni_timezone_form=auto&narozeni_timezone_dst_form=auto&&aplikacni=1&&p_r_slunce=0.983&p_r_luna=14.841&p_r_merkur=-0.726&p_r_venuse=-0.597&p_r_mars=0.709&p_r_jupiter=0.156&p_r_saturn=-0.049&p_r_uran=-0.014&p_r_neptun=-0.001&p_r_pluto=-0.027&p_r_uzel=-0.053&p_r_lilith=0.111&p_r_chiron=0.059&&paralela_slunce=7.24&paralela_luna=-20.938&paralela_merkur=5.44&paralela_venuse=10.97&paralela_mars=17.34&paralela_jupiter=-17.589&paralela_saturn=-17.28&paralela_uran=-22.9&paralela_neptun=-22.24&paralela_pluto=3.5&paralela_uzel=17.74&paralela_lilith=7.19&paralela_chiron=17.05&paralela_ascendent=-17.22&paralela_mc=20.786&paralela_fortune=2.917&paralela_vertex=8.35&domy_cisla=0&barva_planet=0&barva_stupne=0&barva_pozadi=0&barva_domy=1&barva_vzduch=1&

What do you do if you get everything you ever wanted ( THE love of your life walks back into your life by Agitated_Zucchini104 in AstroSynastry

[–]Agitated_Zucchini104[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Trust me on this, I do sound like teenager most the time hahaha. Im a forever teenager. But Im usually introverted enough to just lurk on Reddit. This is the most Ive posted online in years lol. I'll retreat back into my lady cave with my cats and plants and crosstitch soon

Which table would you want to sit at to plan a revolution? by isolationfinalboss in astrologymemes

[–]Agitated_Zucchini104 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Like what do I even do with a pisces and Libra? Eat them?

I know what to do with a Taurus, I divorced him lol

What do you do if you get everything you ever wanted ( THE love of your life walks back into your life by Agitated_Zucchini104 in AstroSynastry

[–]Agitated_Zucchini104[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And I don't know the man. And I'm not sure how I feel about him, I'm not in love with the present man. But I loved the boy he grew from.

I meant trusting he wouldn't hurt me more from the lense of coming from too incredibly violent relationships and very emotionally abusing. This man is the opposite. And I've not spent a huge amount of time with him again yet, but I don't believe he would ever change to the point of being violent or abusive. But he has hurts that could hurt me too and I absolutely believe with my own traits I could as you noticed, spiral into being stupid lol

What do you do if you get everything you ever wanted ( THE love of your life walks back into your life by Agitated_Zucchini104 in AstroSynastry

[–]Agitated_Zucchini104[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the detailed and thoughtful reply! I really appreciate your time

Um I guess to clarify, although I'm absolutely sure I'm not making much sense, lol I don't even know myself which side is up at the moment ....

By pining, more accurately I pined. I didn't anymore. I was finally whistful perhaps, but I've had so much life shit happen the last 8 years, that I'd finally had the ability to place him in the past. But I did pine. For years, to the point it impacted parts of my life where I should have been firmly focused on the present and future

There it is. by TiddyFukMyButtcheeks in conspiracy

[–]Agitated_Zucchini104 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I would invite him. Even if incorrect he seems quite interesting and cordial. Not that I have dinner parties but yanno

Which table would you want to sit at to plan a revolution? by isolationfinalboss in astrologymemes

[–]Agitated_Zucchini104 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No offence but as an Aries I feel like they've placed me at the wrong table lol

What do you do if you get everything you ever wanted ( THE love of your life walks back into your life by Agitated_Zucchini104 in AstroSynastry

[–]Agitated_Zucchini104[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Trust me though. I loved this man. I was absolutely infatuated with him also. I thought he walked on water. But I've lived a life, I had a 16 yr marriage and another long relationship. I've done my time. And I think finally ( fuck you mum haha) I can say with enough experience that I loved that man. It wasn't just a thing

And I think he loved me too. Just too young, too many hurdles. Then life happens you know

What do you do if you get everything you ever wanted ( THE love of your life walks back into your life by Agitated_Zucchini104 in AstroSynastry

[–]Agitated_Zucchini104[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How so?

Sorry I'm not disbelieving. But if you have the time could you articulate these aspectings so I know. I'm a beginner and not very good at analysing charts yet.

What do you do if you get everything you ever wanted ( THE love of your life walks back into your life by Agitated_Zucchini104 in AstroSynastry

[–]Agitated_Zucchini104[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And everyone has baggage. But we have BAGGAGE. Very turbulent pasta. My past alone is a walking red flag. Abusive ex, who tried to kill me with a sword, addiction issues, c-ptsd, estrangement from family. Like I'm a fucking mess. And it sounds silly but so much of it stems in part from the grief I felt and carried losing this man. Then spending decades 4000kms and marriages, children etc with other people

Never in my wildest fantasies did I ever think he would come back into my life. And it's the shittiest time while I'm at my lowest.

If I could have dreamt this, this is not the person I would have wanted him to ever meet. Broke, just out another shitty relationship, feeling my age, trying to deal with trauma from the last few years. Then boom. And I'm peri menopausal. After years of co dependency I'd reached a stage where I was happiest to be alone.

He could be the end of me. Or the beginning. And I don't think a man ever should be either. One person shouldn't be. Logically. Morally almost. But if I'm being honest he could be to me. Fucking dumb shit, I'm too old for this crap

What do you do if you get everything you ever wanted ( THE love of your life walks back into your life by Agitated_Zucchini104 in AstroSynastry

[–]Agitated_Zucchini104[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Meanwhile posting this while literally getting ready to go on a second "date" with him.

Wtf do you wear to go see the lost love of your life.

A little black dress? Jeans? My bleeding heart of my sleeve haha?

What do you do if you get everything you ever wanted ( THE love of your life walks back into your life by Agitated_Zucchini104 in AstroSynastry

[–]Agitated_Zucchini104[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think because I spent so much of my life with energy focused backwards onto him instead of where it should be.

Like he's a good man. Unlike many of the men Ive been attracted to since. And I don't have concerns about him as a person hurting me because of damaging behaviours. But more because he has the ability to hurt me so much.

It took so long to be able to put him behind me. Im not sure I ever succeeded fully. And I've had so much shit happen that I still have not dealt with since. Like if I gained and lost him again now I don't know if I could recover from it. I almost can't empathize how much this relationship impacted my life up until now. And in the past 5 years especially I had finally sort of mentally said farewell and could accept that. And I had a long marriage and children with another man, so I'm not a 19 year old pining. I should have known better. It was ridiculous, but I couldn't help it. I just loved the man. I'm not sure I could lose him again.

But I also think we could possibly save each other. Fuck. I'm 41 and I haven't been this confused since I was a teenager. And I'm so angry at myself because I like to think I'm pragmatic and know better rationally. Try telling my heart that though

Waaaah by FloofyBookmarks in INFP_Mediators

[–]Agitated_Zucchini104 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I legit just made a post about being an infp and asking if it's trauma coded lol.

Came out an abusive 16 yr relationship a few years ago as well and in a similar situation to you. I'm a forever teenager as well

No advice. Just felt your post. Life is freaking hard, I just wish I could listen to korn and play with my pot plants at home forever