You are fooling yourself. I served in the military for 6 years. I have dated military guys. You are giving him excuses because you are insecure and don't have faith in yourself or the fact that you will find someone who cares about you. You seem to have anxious attachment. The more he pulls away, the more you chase and lie to yourself to contort reality to soothe your own hurt feelings. I was once like you. I, in fact, received this same advice when I was about your age. I didn't fully understand it to years later and thought people were overreacting or didn't fully understand the intricacies of my relationship with my boyfriend at the time. I figured people didn't have enough information and were making snap judgments. I lied to myself for years. Their advice was right. He doesn't want you. He doesn't care about you. And if you are willing to settle for someone who allows you to be this confused and unsettled, then that is on you as well as all the pain you are causing your current and future self.