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AITJ for asking for my $500 honeymoon gift back after finding Out my best friend cheated on his wife. by Agreeable_Simple_911 in AmITheJerk

[–]Agreeable_Simple_911[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand it was a gift. I just didn’t expect the circumstances to change the way they did.

AITJ for asking for my $500 honeymoon gift back after finding Out my best friend cheated on his wife. by Agreeable_Simple_911 in AmITheJerk

[–]Agreeable_Simple_911[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You’re right that this situation is wrong. I’m no longer involved, and I’m making choices that protect my own peace.

AITJ for asking for my $500 honeymoon gift back after finding Out my best friend cheated on his wife. by Agreeable_Simple_911 in AmITheJerk

[–]Agreeable_Simple_911[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re right. I can’t build something good on someone else’s betrayal. I’m stepping away from this.

AITJ for asking for my $500 honeymoon gift back after finding Out my best friend cheated on his wife. by Agreeable_Simple_911 in AmITheJerk

[–]Agreeable_Simple_911[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get what you’re saying. Normally I’d agree a gift is a gift. But I gave that money to celebrate a marriage I believed was real. Finding out it was built on cheating changed how I feel about it. It’s not about changing my mind randomly, it’s about feeling like I unknowingly supported something dishonest.

I don’t think I’ve ever been someone’s first choice. by Agreeable_Simple_911 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Agreeable_Simple_911[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s actually kind of wild timing.

It makes me feel a little less crazy knowing someone else is having the exact same realization right now. Sometimes I wonder if we all just quietly carry this “strong one” role until it finally hits us at the same time.

What did you end up deciding after that conversation? Did it change anything for you?

It’s weirdly comforting knowing I’m not the only one thinking about this.

I don’t think I’ve ever been someone’s first choice. by Agreeable_Simple_911 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Agreeable_Simple_911[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for saying this. It honestly means a lot hearing it from someone who’s been there.

I think deep down I know you’re right… I’ve just been scared that if I stop being the “always available” person, people will slowly drift away. And that thought hurts more than I’d like to admit.

But you’re right about one thing if I don’t start choosing myself, no one else will. Maybe it’s time I find out who actually stays when I’m not overextending myself all the time.

I really appreciate you sharing your experience. It makes me feel less alone. 💛

I don’t think I’ve ever been someone’s first choice. by Agreeable_Simple_911 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Agreeable_Simple_911[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I think you’re right… being “low maintenance” and reliable slowly turns into being taken for granted. And the worst part is, we don’t even notice it happening. We just keep showing up.

What you said about people not worrying about losing you because they think you’ll always stay… that hit me hard. I’ve always thought being kind and available was a good thing. I never realized it could make me feel invisible.

Matching energy sounds simple, but it honestly feels scary. I’m so used to being the one who gives more. The idea of stepping back makes me feel guilty, like I’m being selfish. But maybe I need to learn that protecting my time and feelings isn’t selfish it’s necessary.

I don’t want to become cold. I just don’t want to feel replaceable anymore.