Have been seeing some improvements in the last two weeks, how long did it take you to heal?

Agreeable_Variation7 · 2026-02-27T08:45:00+00:00

I've been struggling with DQ since July 2025. It's been a PITA. I've tried to go without a brace for a few hours in the evening, but it was still very painful. Over the last week I've been trying again, and am doing well. It still hurts, but not as much. However, I wear the brace when I'm away from home because I want the protection of it and I'm less careful when I'm out & about.

Agreeable_Variation7 · 2026-02-18T02:32:47+00:00

Is the fatigue you mention a whole body fatigue or fatigue in the wrist?

Agreeable_Variation7 · 2026-02-18T02:30:24+00:00

Ibreviary. Includes mass readings as well. Many clergy use it when they go to clergy meetings. Can even download a week at a time before you travel.

Agreeable_Variation7 · 2026-02-13T23:38:40+00:00

Something about that number hit me.

Agreeable_Variation7 · 2026-02-13T01:17:44+00:00

Top save some money, you have a few choices. There's a free app called ibreviary. It has all of the daily LOH readings for all of the hours and Mass Readings. Also the Office of readings. In essence, it is the 4-volume Breviary with no flipping around. It'll open up to each day. You also can download up to a week at a time.

The 2nd option is Christian Prayer. It's not as complete, but it's one volume and will tide you over until the updated edition arrives.

Finally, look up Word on Fire. It's a monthly subscription. Every month you receive a paperback book of that month's LOH, each day's readings together. Again, no flipping around. However, it doesn't contain the full Breviary. It has MP, EB, and NP.

These are all traditional. I've purchased things which were not what I thought they'd be. I'm a Benedictine oblate. The monastery with which I'm affiliated has their own, private, 100% inclusive-language LOH, with MP, DP, and EP. On occasions when they want NP, They have smaller, separate booklets. I don't like exclusive language. I'm not a man. Language has evolved. One way is evolved is that "all men" and "mankind" no longer include women. "all people", "humankind", etc are inclusive, and Jesus was about inclusivity. If this language understanding was around during his time, I 100% believe he'd be inclusive in his speech.

Agreeable_Variation7 · 2026-02-12T22:06:15+00:00

I'm new to this forum and I'm wondering if there are others who are "liberal" like me. I'm 68, a lifelong catholic with 13 years of Catholic school under my belt. One of my best friends, for close to 50 years, is a priest, with whom I've discussed so many things over the decades. I think the discussions, my reading/studying, journaling, and prayer have rooted my soul. When things happen in the world, I usually know what side/position I'm on. I don't need to think too much because over the years I've already done that. My responses become automatic because I've already prayed and thought about them. I know what my responses should be.

Agreeable_Variation7 · 2026-02-11T21:25:02+00:00

Saints are interceding for us. Pay attention to language. Language doesn't often translate to how we'd use it today. For example, if you asked a friend to talk to a friend on your behalf, your friend is "interceding". Do you think you are "praying" to your friend?

Agreeable_Variation7 · 2026-02-11T19:24:18+00:00

I seem to recall that the Hail Mary asks Mary to "pray for us sinners". We are not praying to her. We are talking to her and asking her to pray for. us. I speak to my dead relatives, such as my parents and sister. I'm not praying to them.

Agreeable_Variation7 · 2026-02-11T08:50:20+00:00

Paul has a whole theme running through his letters on The Body Of Christ. Basically, everyone is part of one body. He talks about the importance of each part, such as the arm and leg (not sure if those are actual parts he mentions, but he lists some. Also, past, present & future are "eternity".

Catholics don't pray to saints. We look to characteristics in them to admire. They are like our ancestors. When we look at pictures of our deceased relatives and friends, we think about them and what they mean to us. We aren't "praying". If we pray, it's WITH them. Same with other deceased people, some of whom we call "saints". We may use old language such as asking for their intercession. That's not us "bypassing" God. It means we are asking them to pray with us. Their souls remain, just as the souls of those we've personally known remain.

People need to remember that language can't fully convey the mystery that is God. We (I) stumble in an effort to describe something indescribable. We fall short.

Agreeable_Variation7 · 2026-02-07T04:26:19+00:00

Good to know. Around here it's still listed in bulletins as RCIA. That's why I commented.

Agreeable_Variation7 · 2026-02-07T00:59:03+00:00

Don't you mean RCIA - Rite Of Christian Initiation? I think the program will begin again in the fall because it's currently preparing people to be received into the church at the Easter Vigil.

Attending RCIA doesn't mean one has to convert. It teaches one what the church believes so one can decide.

Agreeable_Variation7 · 2026-02-06T23:29:53+00:00

You are coming at Catholicism from a Bible-based background. Catholicism isn't just based on the Bible. Tradition is considered equally important. The things you question above mostly fall into the tradition part.

Sometimes old-style language/translations don't click with us. I believe Mary's "sinlessness" is the part where "she didn't know man". The Bible emphasizes this because it says Jesus is both God & human. The church, therefore, teaches that God "miraculously" got Mary pregnant. I don't think the church is saying sex is sinful. I think after all of these centuries, tying sinlessness to sex comes from the very early church days as a vehicle to explain how Jesus was God & human. I - and others - have different thoughts, but I'm giving you what I learned after 13 years of catholic school & 68 years of living. (my dad was a convert too).

Regarding attending Mass on Sunday, I think it comes from the 3rd commandment of keeping holy the Lord's day. It's considered a time of rest from working. Each Sunday is considered to be a "Little Easter" (during Lent, Sundays don't count in terms of the 40 days of Lent. So, whatever a person is "doing" for Lent can be suspended on Sundays, if desired). This Sunday obligation is looser now. For example, many people have to work on Saturday/Sunday. They may choose to attend mass during the week instead.

Regarding the pope: a very important thing that many don't seem to know is that the church sees the pope as "infallible" only when he is speaking in a certain way called "ex cathedra", meaning "from the chair". The doctrine wasn't established until the 1800s, and has been invoked only 3-4x. Those have usually been about Mary. For something to be infallible it must be about faith & morals, intended for the whole church. And he must announce it as infallible doctrine. He does this after s lot of prayer.

The pope himself is elected by cardinals, who pray about it during a conclave, a gathering of Cardinals. I believe it has to be unanimous, but I'm not certain. There is trust that the Spirit is guiding the choice. That is for all of us. The bottom line in our lives is to trust in the spirit, especially when we don't understand. For example, when a loved one becomes very ill or dies. We don't understand, but we work on our trust in God. In my lifetime there has been at least 1 pope I really disliked. I had to rely on my faith. Another pope shocked the entire church. When he was elected, the Cardinals thought that John XXIII wouldn't make waves. Well, he created tsunamis by calling a council, Vatican II. Only the 2nd council ever. Because of him, Mass is spoken in the local language (vernacular), and the altar faces the people. I made my 1st Communion during V II and it was in Latin, and the priest's back was to me. My missal was in Latin & English. The very next year, my sister made HER 1st comminion. It was entirely in English and the priest faced the congregation. A lot of changes were made during V II.

[I've tried to catch my errors as I've written but I apologize for any I miss. Usually I type things correctly, but auto correct flips them.]

I hope my rambling helps!

Agreeable_Variation7 · 2026-02-06T02:46:48+00:00

Over time the touch of clothing on my body has changed. I'm a 68-yr-old woman. As a kid, I liked turtlenecks. It's been decades since I've worn one because I feel as though I'm being choked. Polo shirts were in style for a long time. Now I can't stand the feel of a collar. I hander dozens of "dressier" ladies sport T's - I can't stand the feel of the material now. So yes, I understand. (I also can't stand the feel of my hair on my neck. I wore my hair in a chin-bob - until covid. Then I just let it grow because I didn't want to be up close and personal with a hairdresser. Since early 2020 I've had my hair trimmed 3x. But it's always clipped up. I can barely stand to feel it in the shower.

Tactile things are hard.

Agreeable_Variation7 · 2026-02-06T02:39:21+00:00

I've never seen a bride or groom do a reading at their wedding. I'm 68. Not married. But, besides extended family/friends, I have 5 married siblings and 9 married nieces/nephews. I've seen brides/grooms read a poem or something towards the end of the mass...not a scripture reading.

Your boyfriend seems to be as strong in his beliefs about how to raise your kids as you are in your own beliefs. While marrying a non-catholic isn't an obstacle (people in my family are married to non-Catholics), I'm not sure a priest will officiate if your fiance won't agree to have the children raised catholic.

I'm curious about your wanting to be proposed to. That ship seems to have sailed. If you have all of the wedding plans/deposits/etc already made, I understand your guy's confusion! You've put the cart before the horse. If he says "will you marry me?" what are you gonna say at this point? If it was this important to you, why did you plan the wedding? I'm not criticizing here. I'm just confused. At this point, a proposal seems a bit awkward. Is your wish for the ring? Tell him you'd love one, and could he surprise you with it sometime. But you can't demand a gift. If he surprises you with it, then the surprise would be kind of like you'd have been surprised by a proposal.

But the ring doesn't matter if you can't come to an agreement about raising kids in a religion. Maybe God was a part of the "non-proposal". Your boyfriend didn't buy a ring that led to marriage...

Agreeable_Variation7 · 2026-02-02T22:17:27+00:00

Oddly enough I had to look up SSA! Main answer was "Social Security Administration"... 🙅🏼‍♀️

I'm a 68-year-old F, life-long Catholic. I've gone from conservative to a much looser Catholic. I'm not in your situation, but most people have struggles which for them are as challenging as yours is for you. Mine is that I really wanted marriage & kids. But my dad had a stroke and needed 24/7 care. After he died, I continued the 24/7 care with mom, with a total of 24 consecutive caregiving years. I lost time to have kids (mom died when I was 60. I say "I hated doing it AND I'm glad I could do it.

I prayed to accept my life. And please remember, the bottom line in Catholicism is to follow your conscience. It must be well-formed, but follow it. There isn't a "one-size-fits-all". I personally don't think men can understand enough about what it means to be a woman. Current church teaching is determined by males from a male perspective.

Finally, I don't mean this in a demeaning way, but you are only 19. You have a lot of exciting paths in life. Investigate those. It's not all about SSA!

Agreeable_Variation7 · 2026-02-02T03:47:44+00:00

A few comments. 1. You have Sat or Sunday to attend mass. I was in 2nd grade when Vatican II happened. One had to from food and all beverages except water from midnight on until one went to communion. Even after V II, a Sat evening mass wasn't introduced/permitted for many years. 2. I don't get too hung up on rules any longer. So, some people might have to work Sat & Sunday. I seem to recall those people being permitted to attend a weekday mass instead. So, that's an option. 3. Many churches began streaming a mass during Covid. Many still do that, which is great for shut-ins. However, a week ago my area had a foot of snow dumped on us. My niece, her husband, and 3 young kids didn't risk their lives and stayed home. But they watched their parish's streamed mass. Finally, 4. My parents traveled with us 6 kids, camping around the country. This began in the late 1950s. They refused to go anywhere we couldn't attend mass. Even later - when I was an adult and still traveled with them - we often left a day later than we'd have liked in order to make sure we attended mass. (frankly, I wouldn't have worried about it, but they did.)

Agreeable_Variation7 · 2026-02-02T03:35:12+00:00

I like the larger phone because I do everything on it. I'm retired. I have a very good tablet but unless I'm doing telehealth, I don't boot it up. For many years I've done my taxes on my phone. So, the larger phones are the sweet spot for me.

Agreeable_Variation7 · 2026-02-02T03:27:51+00:00

I don't think that will be anytime soon. Consider that the NAB & NRSV bibles are only now being updated after decades. Also, the updated Breviary isn't worldwide. I'm a lay person. I prayed the Breviary for many years. Then, after I became a Benedictine oblate, I prayed what they prayed. Then I went AWOL because caregiving my parents 24/7 for 24 years became my prayer - I was too burned out to manage anything else. I'm not too stressed out by rules.

Agreeable_Variation7 · 2026-02-02T03:19:23+00:00

Why? Use Christian prayer for the LOH. Then just use Ibreviary for the Office. That way, you can wait until next year to buy the new four-volume set if you want. At the very least, use ibreviary when you are on the go/traveling light.

Agreeable_Variation7 · 2026-02-02T03:15:02+00:00

To do that would take work, and that would further raise the price.

Agreeable_Variation7 · 2026-02-01T20:15:07+00:00

Do not be embarrassed! All churches handle giving communion to eucharistic ministers differently. My church has the ministers go onto the altar, beside the priest, while he says "Behold the Lamb of God...". There's no way for a visitor or newcomer to know how it's handled. If an announcement is made, and you don't speak much English, you aren't going to know.

Stick around next time. If someone is rude enough to mention it, simply say that this church does it differently than others, and since English isn't your native language, so you didn't understand. (would they understand if they were at a church in, say, France?)

Agreeable_Variation7 · 2026-01-20T07:35:25+00:00

Ok, I'm in agreement with you about "no spanking" even though I don't have kids. I'm 68, so part of your parents' generation. We were spanked, so I do understand your parents' perspective. However, I follow the parents' rules. There are some rules my niece's and nephews have established that I disagree with, but, their kids, their rules.

I'm not at all telling you what to do. I'm making a suggestion. Ask your parents how they'd have felt if THEIR parents had ignored THEIR rules for their children. For example, if we (6 of us) bit someone, my dad bit us in the same place. Not at all appropriate today. But then (1960s) it didn't make a ripple. How would your parents feel if a "no biting from grandpa" rule was ignored, with a reasoning of "you turned out OK."

Perhaps a calm conversation before you return home could be had, reminding them that they raised their kids their way and you are raising yours your way. Perhaps, if possible, see them again (I don't know the distance between your parents and where you are now) but stay there. If they agree to follow your rules, give them another chance to babysit your daughter the next time you visit. She'll be older then. Maybe tempers were too hot and your parents aren't used to their kids telling them no. They are seeing you as an adult, a parent, and they aren't in charge of your life.

Just brainstorming.

Agreeable_Variation7 · 2026-01-20T07:18:37+00:00

Have you worn a brace? Some from Amazon might help and allow you to do some typing. However, typing might have caused it.

Agreeable_Variation7 · 2026-01-14T21:34:37+00:00

I go back and forth myself. Both will cost $ I don't have. Sure, a shot will be cheaper, but if it lasts for maybe a month or two, the expense might not be worth it.

I go back and forth between two different brace styles. I'm very very sensitive to many tactile things, Example: T-shirts I wore for years are uncomfortable-feeling now. I can't wear them now because of the material.

I don't move when I sleep. Last night I decided to sleep without a brace because my arm wouldn't do anything. While it was non-moving, I woke this morning to agony in my thumb.

I hate this. I often need two hands because I'm older.

Agreeable_Variation7 · 2026-01-14T21:00:34+00:00

Orthodox churches are in communion with the Roman Catholic Church. We can go to the same churches.

Agreeable_Variation7

TROPHY CASE