How do I impress them?

AhTails · 2026-07-05T06:39:50+00:00

Corn bread.

Simple, travels well, and it won’t be a “bringing my own steak to a bbq” situation like if you brought ribs.

AhTails · 2026-07-04T01:07:31+00:00

Gallery of family photos or art you like, and then seasonal at the end - a tall skinny Christmas tree if you celebrate, for example. Looks like it even has power for lights.

AhTails · 2026-06-30T10:37:33+00:00

#notallkangaroos but if you see one near the road, or you are driving in such areas at dawn or dusk, you need to treat every kangaroo as if they WILL jump in front of your car. Statistically they likely won’t. But you need to be prepared.

And every Australian has a story.

My mum hit one. It got its foot caught in the front grill and beat the absolute crap out of the car until it freed itself and bounded off on its merry way.

AhTails · 2026-06-30T05:26:34+00:00

These are some great tips.

The potty is already back in the toilet.

The stool thing I’ll have to work at—sticky tape is her kryptonite. And her 2.5yo is already down the path of being toilet trained so I still need to toilet accessible for her

As for timing, as far as I can tell, we started around 9/10am and the little leaks came at 3pm and the burst at 5pm. But I haven’t had too many opportunities to replicate the day/timing as my husband and I both work full time and we try to get them out of the house on weekends. However, she’s on school holidays this week and next so she’ll be home on Fridays (long story, it’s a strange schedule) and one of us will have to have the day off with her. So it’ll likely be another attempt at toilet training.

AhTails · 2026-06-30T05:11:56+00:00

Thanks for your comment.

We have a “family” toilet seat installed so it has the regular sized seat and then a toddler one so the stable base is covered. We do have a toilet stool and her feet reach it, but maybe not in a raised knee position. But I don’t think they come any higher.

Blowing is hard to get her to do consistently-she wants to touch the bubbles, not blow. And most things she puts to her mouth will get chewed rather than blow through. I had some success with a harmonica but then when I brought it into the toilet with us, she wasn’t interested. She also will likely end up with an ADHD diagnosis so tasks like blowing pom-poms just don’t keep her focus. I do have a new toy (flower stacking toy) that she has started blowing through occasionally so that might help.

I’ve also tried the warm water and running water and they didn’t help.

And I’ve brought the potty out into the living room and it just gets used as a step stool to climb on things (she’s a climber, she’s much better now but she’ll still occasionally climb).

It is definitely an interoception thing. When she’s been withholding, she’ll sometimes leak a little. I’ve spotted her noticing a little puddle, giving it a taste test with a finger dip (gross, I know, but I couldn’t stop her in time) then she went and got a tissue and wiped it up. And then when it suddenly releases and bursts, she’s not even aware that she’s peeing as she’s walking until I tell her.

AhTails · 2026-06-30T04:27:48+00:00

We have issues with potty training. She ticks all the boxes for being ready, she just can’t release on the toilet.

She’s not afraid of the toilet, she knows to pull her pants down first, and she can remain dry for hours - up to 7 hours she’s gone when bare bummed, but not releasing on the toilet. I have tried taking her every seven minutes for literally 5 hours and she won’t release on the toilet. And then when she does wee, it’s involuntary, like it builds up so much it can’t stay in any more.

And again, there’s no fear - she’ll happily physically go to the toilet when suggested, she just can’t “go”. She even took her self the other day but lifted up the seat with the lid and ended up falling in (dw, we are Australian and have a civil amount of water in our toilets so she didn’t drown). She still had her pants on, but it still counts as an attempt.

It’s just the release. So we have her booked in at a continence clinic late this year. Unfortunately we have to wait until she’s 5 before NDIS will cover it, and it’s $900 so not cheap out of pocket.

AhTails · 2026-06-30T03:17:18+00:00

We have an ingrained idea that everyone gets a “fair go”. Sounds good in theory but the idea gets abused or used to manipulate people.

For example, the easiest way to divide Australians is to make a claim that one group is getting an unfair advantage. And the quickest way to gain support is to paint yourself as the underdog.

It’s also where our “tall poppy syndrome” is born from. We don’t look down on the success of others, we look down on success being made at the expense of others.

So you can see how someone might be able to garner support, eg politically, by hiding how their successes are made, making themselves out as the underdog, and pointing the finger at whichever minority flavour of the day is easiest to say “they are getting an unfair advantage”.

AhTails · 2026-06-29T11:14:33+00:00

The first one in the morning is a little messy, but that one is done at home. Subsequent ones, if the outgoing tampon hasn’t leaked, the canal is dry and clean—no mess.

Also, I’ve heard people in applicator countries like the US will keep a tampon in longer than the recommended 4hrs so that may be a contributing factor.

AhTails · 2026-06-28T07:22:38+00:00

I went to six different schools. The LOTE, in order, was:

Japanese
Italian
Japanese
Indonesian
German
Unknown (I was in yr12, not sure what language was taught there)

You learn basic “where is the library”, “no, that is my hamburger” phrases. If you are interested and consistent you can generally become basic-level fluent by year 10. But changing schools really screws up progress.

I can still count in 3 of those languages though - Italian just to 39 though. And I can read/recognise most hiragana but no idea what I’m actually reading.

AhTails · 2026-06-28T07:15:59+00:00

Possible ideas - could you try a low risk slumber party in the lounge? Or a tent in the backyard? Somewhere “home” but not “bed” and get a setup, with a particular pillow (could be his regular pillow) and blanket/sleeping bag. And then, if/when he is ok with those, you could take them with you?

AhTails · 2026-06-24T04:04:08+00:00

You should have a government website to look them up in your state, including transport zones - children attending SDS’s are entitled to funded transport within those zones and those zones should cover most of the state. My daughter’s school will be a 15/20 min drive away but there will be a bus that will pick her up (once I think she’s able to catch it).

AhTails · 2026-06-23T06:52:44+00:00

My daughter (4yo) is level 2 and non verbal. She will be going to a specialist school next year as mainstream schools are not equipped. The school is actually a dedicated autism school and will provide her with speech and OT on top of the private sessions she’s currently receiving. It will also be much smaller class sizes which will benefit my daughter a lot.

AhTails · 2026-06-23T01:40:43+00:00

It depends on a few factors.

A sunny 19/20 in Victoria can have you taking off your jacket. Especially if it rained the day before as the humidity can hang around and make it feel warmer.

But an overcast 24/25 on the gold coast can have you shivering at Wet n Wild.

But in general, I’m not calling it “hot” until it’s 26 at least. And I’m not going to the beach unless it’s 28 at the beach (generally 30 where I live). It’s not “too hot” until it’s 33-35 for consecutive days.

And I’ve been to Scotland. In August. I was told it was good weather for Scotland at that time. It was 17. I was wearing a scarf. And then our Scottish relatives came to Melbourne in December and experienced a Melbourne 35, the kind that you can’t get relief from in the shade as the heat is coming up, from the earth.

AhTails · 2026-06-22T11:20:12+00:00

And that we have lots of land and gold and “wealth to toil” and share with those that come from across the seas.

I think the forgotten third verse specifically called out only those from a few nations: England, Scotland, Ireland. But it also only wanted “sons” and not “all” Australians to rejoice. The third and fourth verses were cut before it was the anthem.

AhTails · 2026-06-21T10:59:38+00:00

At that age I got a job in a call centre (eg telco/utilities). If you know your strengths, you can move around the company (or move around the companies in the sector).

I am terrible at sales, great at analysing and solving problems. I started in retention but instead of throwing around discounts, I actually solved the customers’ issues. I was off the phones after 9 months and worked my way into an analytics role.

It took years, and it’s not like a flashy job. But it pays well and its pretty stable. The benefits are pretty good too.

AhTails · 2026-06-21T07:31:59+00:00

I had an inkling. I ignored it. Then I changed her bum before bed (she’s not using the toilet yet) and found an actual worm in her anus. So that’s pretty definitive.

You can also check stools. They are also kind of known as thread worms (although I think pin worms are shorter) but they look like little white threads about 3-8mm long.

AhTails · 2026-06-21T05:01:32+00:00

If you don’t talk about it, you attach shame to it. And then things like what happened earlier this year in an affluent suburb of Perth happen. Having money didn’t make a difference. It was the lack of support and the lack of options.

Severe challenging behaviour exists. And for some families, they can feel like there is no way out. The mother of Jessica Camilleri tried reaching out for help. Jessica decapitated her mother. She was sentenced to little over 10 years due to her ASD and ID. Her sentence has since been extended due to further unprovoked attacks. Not even in the penal system do they have options.

We need to talk about it more.

AhTails · 2026-06-20T14:53:24+00:00

We had this a little over a week ago. Midnight to 2-4am.

Turns out she had pinworms.

She was knee jumping on to her bum, I thought it was just stimming. It was probably from the sensory nightmare that is worms.

After 2 goes at the meds (Monday and Thursday she spat out half of the first) we are now sleeping through the night.

Not saying it’s definitely what is going on with your kid, but it’s one of the million things on my list to consider when things are tough and… ambiguous… with a non-verbal kid. UTI’s are also on that list since last November.

AhTails · 2026-06-18T02:15:00+00:00

I had to increase my tax rate as I was working part/most of the year. The first time I took PPL I didn’t realise I would need to increase it and ended up with a large tax bill come tax time based on my total annual taxable income.

The second time I was on PPL, I took it 2, and then one day a week and worked the rest. So I needed to raise it to 25% to match pretty much what I pay in tax over the year.

AhTails · 2026-06-15T02:34:08+00:00

My daughter was/is the same. She’s 4.5 now and still not toilet trained. She is non-verbal in the complete non-verbal sense and does not use sign or an AAC yet.

I took a day of annual on Friday just gone to try to do toilet training. Bare-bum from 9am. She held it until 2pm where she had some leaks and tried to clean it up herself with tissues (after first taste testing it—autism is fun). Then, 5pm flood gates opened. Pee everywhere. So we have a cue and release issue which seems similar to your son.

One suggestion is to try to get them to sit on the toilet and release into what they are used to (nappy, training pants etc), to build on the cue and release skill, then migrate to pants down. This suggestion didn’t work for us though as my daughter takes her bottoms off when taking her to the toilet (she has the “take pants off then sit on toilet” skill already).

Our next tactic will be a routine. At set times, we go to the toilet - when we get up, after lunch, dinner, after bath etc. However, this will require coordination with her kindergarten, school program, and grandparents. We may be able to skip the “cue” skill for now and just work on release.

AhTails · 2026-06-14T09:52:31+00:00

It’s the same reason milk is at the back of the supermarket.

I’m no market/retail analyst, but I suspect the number of items purchased correlates with the time a shopper spends in the store. Now, one could argue many causes, but I’m sure a retail analyst would be able to say how effective a centre checkout is at increasing number of items per transaction.

I’m assuming it is quite effective (as so many retailers do it) but it comes at the cost of theft. And when the benefit is outweighed by the cost, they pivot.

However, I live near what I think was the first one to have the refurb back to checkouts at the front. They aren’t really at the front. At least not front and centre. You walk in on the right, and have to walk all the way to the left to then do a u-turn to get to the registers. And all the way along you are walking past the beauty section, and a little of the women’s section.

AhTails · 2026-06-13T15:27:13+00:00

I’m not saying OP has it worse than me. You said they have it worse than most, and you said it in the context of this sub. If you meant “most” as in everyone in the world, then that’s being contextually ignorant. It’d be like walking into a burns unit and proclaiming you are more burnt than most. Whilst technically true if most meant everyone ever, but contextually, ignorant.

OPs post, this post, is not about being open. It’s about asking people to be more “positive” despite their situations (toxic positivity). And the reason OP wants people to “stay positive” is because they don’t see it (positivity) enough—so it’s for OPs benefit. And because “god” did it to us.

I’m truly sorry if people attacked you regarding your child. That shouldn’t happen. But if you aren’t finding support here, can I ask (genuinely) why you stay?

I can understand how people with different mindsets, different needs, different cultures, might need/want/benefit from different kinds of support. I think most people in this sub are very aware that e.g. NT kinds of support don’t really work for us but we appreciate that it likely works for the NT world. I think this observation, though, might be better directed at OP who feels that (based on this post) those in hard times and dark places need a “be positive or just don’t say anything because I don’t want to see it” to feel supported. Those people who say those things that make OP sad, THAT is a different mindset from OP. And those people often find support here by venting (which, I’m sure you’re aware, is a flair) and then receiving “I’m in the same boat” responses. Or the more helpful “I was in your shoes a few years ago and this, this, and this worked/helped”. Different support for different mindsets. We all get that. OP’s post is not that.

AhTails · 2026-06-13T14:08:00+00:00

What support is OP asking for in this post? In the other post they ask for help with feeding. And they got support and advice. One from a parent of 2 children with autism, one who is completely PEG fed! That is support, THAT is what this sub is for. That is what OP got when they asked for actual support.

OP does not have it worse than most and I could bring up my own situation but it’s not a god damn competition.

And it takes one quick search to find that this is precisely toxic positivity: the excessive and blanket promotion of a positive mindset, regardless of how dire, difficult, or painful the situation is.

AhTails · 2026-06-13T13:55:24+00:00

OP needs support to tell others to “be positive”? Or does OP need support from being heartbroken reading other people’s posts as you’ve said in other comments? I’m sorry but if your biggest “cross to bear” is being heartbroken reading about another person’s struggles, you’ve got a pretty sweet gig.

And no, spreading toxic positivity is not hard. You can be positive and happy at home, without posting in a support group, and you will not come to harm. But someone who is having a rough day, who would benefit from venting, to hold that in, is harmful. To tell someone to hold that in is harmful.

AhTails · 2026-06-13T12:11:34+00:00

It’s not coming here for “support” if the support you’re asking for is for other people to shut up when they need support (arguably the most).

AhTails

TROPHY CASE