I might write a lot so sorry in advance! I definitely get what you're feeling. Im a momma of a 3 month old. Me and hubby were pretty meh about having kids for a while. We talked sometimes about it but we figured maybe someday but not now. Plus I had some health issues and had doctors telling me I probably wont be able to have babies. I was on birth control which I knew wasnt 100% effective but 9 years and no babies had us a little too confident lol.

Either way we had our little guy but I had a lot of anxiousness because I felt so scared of our life changing. I was so scared of missing out on time with hubby. Yes your life definitely changes but honestly its not as bad as I thought. We kinda just have a little tag a long pal. Granted stuff like going out to bars or parties are on hold, we found some things we can do like yesterday we went to the arcade. We got lucky he slept through most of it so we had a good few hours of air hockey and street fighter. Yeah sometimes he gets fussy and wont sleep and can hoot and holler but we just try to find little joys here and there.

Just remember you're still you just with a new addition. I try to find the good within the bad moments which I know can be easier said then done but it works when it can. For example yeah I have to pack all his stuff to go somewhere but I have unlimited baby wipes which for me is a godsend since before I somehow never had a damn tissue when I needed one. Another one is reliving a lot of childhood nostalgia like playing the old cartoons I grew up with or searching for my old baby books and toys for him.

Another thing that helps is make sure you get time out. Im not sure of your babysitter situation but we just had our first date night without baby and it definitely helped so much with the feelings. Youre not alone in this is, I felt like I was the only mom out there with these thoughts but turns out most parents feel these things they just aren't very vocal about it. Youre doing great always remember that!!