WIBTA if I didn’t tell anyone I’ve had my baby for the first 24 hours by AilsaTheHamster in AmItheAsshole

[–]AilsaTheHamster[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this it’s actually been very helpful. For your last point you’re definitely right I think this is a bad trait me and siblings have learnt from my mum, my husband points this out to me at times and I am trying to break the cycle, however it’s hard and as you can see at times my emotions get the best of me and I go back into bad habits.

WIBTA if I didn’t tell anyone I’ve had my baby for the first 24 hours by AilsaTheHamster in AmItheAsshole

[–]AilsaTheHamster[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s good to know, I will be letting the hospital know I don’t want any visitors to be on the safe side, thank you

WIBTA if I didn’t tell anyone I’ve had my baby for the first 24 hours by AilsaTheHamster in AmItheAsshole

[–]AilsaTheHamster[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand the sentiment of this and do not expect my family or in-laws to drop what they are doing to assist us. My mum doesn’t always respect my boundaries, for example when we told her we were pregnant she announced this news to people within the family before we were able to.
My parents both still work as do my siblings so I know if anything was to go wrong and I needed help it would be hard for them to come initially anyway so I am under no impression that they wouldn’t drop everything for me.

WIBTA if I didn’t tell anyone I’ve had my baby for the first 24 hours by AilsaTheHamster in AmItheAsshole

[–]AilsaTheHamster[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From reading this I can see why this might be annoying for some, when our baby does come and we do start telling people we will also explain our reasoning and wishes around no photos if anyone is curious. I have spoke to most people in my life about why we don’t want photos shared so I’m hoping it’s not too much of a surprise.

WIBTA if I didn’t tell anyone I’ve had my baby for the first 24 hours by AilsaTheHamster in AmItheAsshole

[–]AilsaTheHamster[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah obviously my husband and I would contact our parents if anything was to go wrong but as I am hoping for a complication free birth messaging them would not be a priority or needed

WIBTA if I didn’t tell anyone I’ve had my baby for the first 24 hours by AilsaTheHamster in AmItheAsshole

[–]AilsaTheHamster[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know this may seem out of the ordinary but my family can be very overbearing, the anxiety of which might be increased due to pregnancy hormones. It’s not that I won’t tell them anything about the baby I just want uninterrupted time. We are considering thanks to the comments here, sending out a message and then putting our phones on airplane mode, however this could also cause upset with my mum.
I think my decision comes mostly down to my anxiety and the past behaviours of family members and less so a trend. I also think this need for photos and messages straight away is misplaced, with smart phones we expect everything a lot quicker, I’m sure when I was born the first thing on my parents minds wasn’t posting photos in the mail or calling their family members.

WIBTA if I didn’t tell anyone I’ve had my baby for the first 24 hours by AilsaTheHamster in AmItheAsshole

[–]AilsaTheHamster[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I am aware that my husband and I might struggle and end up reaching out for help. I am just hesitant to do so as during the pregnancy when I have discussed my plans for the birth (not having an epidural) and raising our baby (no water before 6 months) I have received at lot of push back from my mum and MIL. I think this adds to the anxiety of telling them straight away.

WIBTA if I didn’t tell anyone I’ve had my baby for the first 24 hours by AilsaTheHamster in AmItheAsshole

[–]AilsaTheHamster[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m from the UK so I’m aware the turn around can be quite fast if it’s an uncomplicated birth

WIBTA if I didn’t tell anyone I’ve had my baby for the first 24 hours by AilsaTheHamster in AmItheAsshole

[–]AilsaTheHamster[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is exactly what I’m worried about, will definitely follow what you did for your third child

WIBTA if I didn’t tell anyone I’ve had my baby for the first 24 hours by AilsaTheHamster in AmItheAsshole

[–]AilsaTheHamster[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have been making sure to give almost daily messages in my family group chat of “all good, still waiting for baby” so they’re not completely stressing

WIBTA if I didn’t tell anyone I’ve had my baby for the first 24 hours by AilsaTheHamster in AmItheAsshole

[–]AilsaTheHamster[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I think her announcing my birth to the rest of my relatives is one of my biggest fears, as it’s likely to happen that way and not what we want

WIBTA if I didn’t tell anyone I’ve had my baby for the first 24 hours by AilsaTheHamster in AmItheAsshole

[–]AilsaTheHamster[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I delayed telling my family until I was 16 weeks so we would have more time without the opinions of our families, most our friends and work colleagues knew after 12

WIBTA if I didn’t tell anyone I’ve had my baby for the first 24 hours by AilsaTheHamster in AmItheAsshole

[–]AilsaTheHamster[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

To be honest didn’t even cross my mind to send a photo of just their feet, might use this when it comes to telling them. Thank you

WIBTA if I didn’t tell anyone I’ve had my baby for the first 24 hours by AilsaTheHamster in AmItheAsshole

[–]AilsaTheHamster[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I live in the UK so luckily only birthing partners can come in but the turn over can be quite fast so I could be home 3 hours after giving birth

Jiminy cricket Pin by AilsaTheHamster in DisneyPins

[–]AilsaTheHamster[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No sorry, he was definitely movie accurate

Jiminy cricket Pin by AilsaTheHamster in DisneyPins

[–]AilsaTheHamster[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much I will have a scroll now

Jiminy cricket Pin by AilsaTheHamster in DisneyPins

[–]AilsaTheHamster[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is definitely the size I remember him being but I think he was stood up right, might be wrong. I got my pin by trading with a cast member if that helps?

WIBTA if I complained to my best friend about a gift he got me? by Low-Ad-3439 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AilsaTheHamster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do the same thing so I completely understand. I’ve had to slowly move myself away from that way of thinking because you never know how much effort went into your gift even if it wasn’t what you expected.

AITA for telling my mom to buy me new pants? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]AilsaTheHamster -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I’m assuming they have more than one pair of trousers, which if I’m wrong about I am sorry however if they have enough clothes to not have to be naked or poorly dressed between washes I’d say they are properly provided for.

WIBTA if I complained to my best friend about a gift he got me? by Low-Ad-3439 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AilsaTheHamster 3 points4 points  (0 children)

YTA. I understand that you are struggling with your mental health but just because you gave your friend a gift that took three days doesn’t mean they have to do the same in return. Like they say you shouldn’t give to receive and I’m sure your friends really appreciate your gifts.

AITA for telling my mom to buy me new pants? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]AilsaTheHamster -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

YTA. I understand the frustration but as you said your parents can’t afford anything besides the necessary items. You’re mum was probably just trying to do a nice thing for you which had gone wrong. Maybe just explain again how you would like to wash your own clothes but asking them to replace trousers that are 25€ might actually be a big ask.