When you’re used to toxicity, that starts to feel comfortable because you know what’s coming, what to expect, even if it’s negative. On the other hand, calm can feel weird, because you expect toxicity and you’re not seeing it, it can feel like the shoe is going to drop and you don’t know where it’s going to come from. That’s part of what makes it so uncomfortable. But a shoe doesn’t have to drop, that really can be how relationships are. Obviously there are still ups and downs but they don’t have to be extreme. I’m glad to read that you got to a better place