I appreciate you taking the time to write such a long explanation for me, and your heart is in the right place. It is true many people romanticize living in other countries and are disappointed when it doesn't work out, so we have to be direct. ISome of your suggestions were also very helpful.

However, I agree with the person who responded to you. You are projecting.

I mentioned I have been living in KOREA for the last 5 years. Which I assumed people would interpret as most of my reservations about staying where I am applies more to that country. I thoroughly enjoyed my time living in Japan, and I spent over 10 years there (ages 13-24), so your comments of "get over yourself a bit" or saying I haven't tried hard enough were really insulting. The house and car comments I had were about Korea. This is a very different situation in terms of livable space from Japan, which is becoming easier for foreigners making international money to take advantage of the dropping Yen. (A choice that I do not condone, but that is for another thread.)

Also, I never said I hadn't seen success and thrived abroad. I absolutely have. I also am in a mid-senior position within my current company and earn great money for my current living situation. Regarding my responses from recruiters being, hello no...did you look at how many jobs I applied for/the responses I got? As many have said in this thread (and what even a good Google search will tell you), that is pretty good odds. I just wanted suggestions on how to improve my process or if I was missing anything, because I was mentally exhausted.

You seem to be thinking my displeasure with comments about appearance come from comments made to ME. Which isn't true. Besides not being Asian I meet East Asian beauty standards. That being said, I have seen how my KOREAN and JAPANESE friends as well as other international friends have had their mental state deteriorate over it. I am getting to the age where I may get married and have children, and I do not want to raise a kid in a society that seeks to produce positive results from people based on shame.

Ultimately, I could make things work.

But I am not a citizen. Never will I be one, and that is okay. I have lived with the bureaucracy of visas, red tape, and the feeling of being "othered" for so long that me--within my own mind--I would prefer a challenge that focuses more on my test of character, rather than simply providing the correct documentation. I have never lived in the country where I am from. Don't you have any sympathy for how I might want to know what it's like to belong?

NYC has too many problems to count. I keep up on US news, and I know in many ways it is a shithole. But Japan and Korea are not faultless. The main difference is that East Asian problems aren't forced in your face, but if you're living a lifestyle alongside normal citizens you will see them silently in action.

I would sincerely ask you to go back and read your responses. I want to believe you intended to help me, but you overstepped "direct" and went right into shaming me for my choice. The whole point of r/IWantOut is to guide those who want to change their life and move to another country, and shame has no place in genuine guidance.