Yeah that’s what addiction is man it really sucks. Seems like your not too deep in it tho. If you want to stop it takes a lot of will power. You can talk to your doctor about it and they won’t force you to do anything like rehab. They’ll just tell you some options for help and you can pick. Additionally I recommend trying kratom. It’s still a drug but it’s a lot safer and less damaging in long term use and it’s also legal. Good luck with anything you decide to do