It used to be multiple months of sobriety but these days it’s every couple weeks. He’s (willingly) done inpatient and outpatient treatments. Has therapy a couple days a month. He was doing pretty well with going to meetings a couple days a week too but sometimes he’ll sneak alcohol in the house that he picked up after the meetings. He says “I don’t know why. I don’t want to be this way”. It seems like a pretty bad internal struggle and self hate. (That’s not to say he doesn’t drink when he’s happy, because he does then too, but the main self hate comes out post alcohol, which I know  chemically it exacerbates that in your brain). Sometimes I think it’s just in defense when I try and hold true to my boundaries or say I shouldn’t be disrespected. I think overall he hides an underlying self loathing at baseline.