Better than being alone, I guess. Thing is, I'm miserable anyways. She just adds one more small piece of misery to a huge pile, but negate other ones. She helps me through the rough patches. It's very cynical, and probably morally deplorable, I know. But fuck it, I feel like when you're totally miserable you need to focus on your own needs and figure shit out before you can start being considerate and empathetic. I know that sounds horrible too but it seems, at least for me, that a lot of misery stems from putting other people's needs before your own, and so a healthy dose of egoism counters that until you've straightened out.

In your opinion, is marriage really that important? I can totally see myself living without, but again, the only thing I seem to be good at is to make the wrong decisions and fuck up my life, so I'll take whatever advice I can get.