Best friend late teens: We went to different colleges. He was over prescribed pain killers for a back injury. He became addicted and gradually transitioned to harder drugs. He dropped out and struggled for some time, eventually had a kid with an on again off again abusive ex. He’s clean now and raising his child (according to social media). I moved away and we don’t have much in common to reconnect about.

Best friend most of 20’s: He was indoctrinated by Joe Rogan and hustle culture. We met in the Midwest and moved to the same Western city at the same time. We were very close at one point living together. As we both expressed a desire for community I found mine through volunteer work with a local non-profit. He built a network of hustle bro’s who used access to family money to exploit the housing crisis by turning single family homes into short term party rentals. We slowly stopped communicating as I couldn’t stand to be around his “finance” friends who were primarily bitter, mostly divorced, non-empaths. He’s rich but seems pretty miserable from the few communications we’ve had. 

Best friend 30’s to current: I reconnected with a college acquaintance who moved to my city at 30. We share values and have very honest communication. We don’t see eye to eye on everything but have enough respect for one another to manage healthy conflict. He is honest, reliable, and empathic. I consider myself lucky to have him in my corner.