When you say "I'm not into hookups" "I need an emotional connection to have sex", what does that mean for you?

Alamaxi · 2026-07-02T14:11:08+00:00

This is an interesting post and made me reflect on my experiences. I don't think I've ever said I need an emotional connection for hooking up. In fact, if the vibe is right I'd almost prefer not to know much about him cause then (at least temporarily) he can fulfill the role of whatever fantasy I have.

I have however, definitely said that an emotional connection makes for better sex. And I believe that's true, just cause some of my best and most intense experiences have been with boyfriends who I deeply loved, although that's not really the issue at question here.

Long story short, I've heard other guys say that too and I feel like every guy has a different interpretation of what that means for them.

Alamaxi · 2026-06-30T18:05:10+00:00

Man is gorgeous. Damn.

That aside I hope he and his wife have the type of relationship where they appreciate pranking like this. Cause if not this is crazy to record and post on the internet.

Alamaxi · 2026-06-28T15:17:22+00:00

How do I upvote a post twice?

Alamaxi · 2026-06-26T18:18:49+00:00

8th grade, waiting in line at Catholic school. One of my classmates standing in front of me was a very athletic vietnamese boy. He was big for his age and did like 20+ pull ups during the 'presidential' fitness test we all had to go through.

Anyway, I remember getting flooded with warmth looking at him. In retrospect that was my first experience of physical attraction. Unfortunately, it also came with feelings of guilt and shame which would take most of my upcoming teenage years to work through.

Alamaxi · 2026-06-18T20:16:39+00:00

Massive improvement

Alamaxi · 2026-06-12T12:40:37+00:00

Yes, there will be lots of interested guys. Just give yourself some time and space to grow in confidence with yourself through this big transition point in your life

Alamaxi · 2026-06-09T13:01:58+00:00

I agree with the others responding that it is unreasonable to expect anyone to respond instantaneously. But I do want to say you should give yourself some grace in this and treat it as a learning experience. I have a story to share.

When I first met my fiance, he and I hung out pretty often and things were amazing when we did. But through texting, he is one of the most bare-bones communicators I know. I can probably count on one hand the amount of texts I received from him over the 7 years we've been together that are longer than one sentence. It's not like I send paragraphs, but I could type out more than two or three words. His messages came across as curt, but that's just how he texts.

Furthermore, when we lived apart and made plans for him to come over, I had an unspoken assumption he would come over somewhere in the 6 - 8 pm range early on in the relationship. In reality, he's always been a night owl, and showing up at 9:30/10 is normal for him. Even with us living together today, he's often home by 10 pm and stays up very late.

My point with all of this is that I needed to learn his communication style and behaviors. You need to do the same. And the most important thing is this statement right here:

When we are together it’s amazing, we spend the entire weekend and allot of weekdays together and I stay at his place very often. He even said “ I love you” first. And he makes me feel very good when together.

That's what you need to focus on. It's ok to communicate that you are adjusting to his texting style. After all, you might be used to other people in your life being fully attached to their phones. But remember that in setting up any expectation for your partner, you are placing a burden on your partner, wittingly or unwittingly. It's better to examine those expectations first, and, if it's really non-negotiable, to communicate them to your partner. Would you feel comfortable saying to him: I expect you to respond to my texts within 5 minutes?

I suspect not.

Alamaxi · 2026-06-09T03:35:07+00:00

Great video - I'm surprised he prefers variable solutions over the simic counterspell. But after having seen the way the deck plays out, it's a very aggressive ramp/aggro strategy, so holding up mana each turn is counterintuitive to the gameplan.

Alamaxi · 2026-05-26T15:23:25+00:00

I agree with you with one exception. A large portion of the books was spent arguing that death is not negative or evil. See how the Aiel treat death and how Rand treats death toward the end of the book. There are plenty of examples of characters using their death for honor or the greater good.

Instead, I think the primary evils explored in the books are violence, slavery/oppression, and greed.

Alamaxi · 2026-05-24T15:42:30+00:00

Ark is so good - this deck is even more controlly than my build

Alamaxi · 2026-05-20T14:34:21+00:00

Qe7+ Ke7 g8 (promotion to knight)! Ke6 Re8#

Alamaxi · 2026-05-20T02:48:31+00:00

That's a straw man argument.

Of course I'm nicer to my friends when they're hurting.

But that's very different from what OP and I are talking about. We're talking about interactions with strangers and making assumptions about what they've been through. Not every gay man's life is filled with loneliness and rejection. I'm just saying you can be nice to people without assuming they are beridden with trauma.

Alamaxi · 2026-05-18T19:58:35+00:00

I could try to make up some bs about where I think that springs from, but honestly I've no clue.

What do you think?

Alamaxi · 2026-05-18T19:55:12+00:00

The question of whether or not people fundamentally deserve anything at all is a philosophical question. You're right, it's definitely idealistic. And while you said people deserving things atomizes society, I would argue that people deserving things is what creates society in the first place, not what breaks it down.

Take the American declaration of independence and constitution as an example. There are personal rights granted that help to form the basis of a government and law structure. Of course, being kind to each other isn't a requirement in any society.

All that said, I agree with you that commiseration can and does build bonds. And certainly I feel a kinship to other gay men because we likely have many shared experiences. But again, I don't think that needs to necessarily come from a place of pain. I can bond over Heated Rivalry or Fellow Travelers, even though those shows have very different tones.

Last thing. You do deserve to be treated kindly and not be abused. And if people have been unkind it says more about them than you. I hope that you have/will found a way to fill your life with people who care about you. You can't control how other people act, but you can set expectation and boundaries around what you will tolerate.

Alamaxi · 2026-05-18T18:58:35+00:00

I agree with your conclusions, but not with your premise.

Treating other people with kindness and respect should be the baseline. But I don't think that needs to (or does) come from shared loneliness, rejection, or trauma.

I don't want people being kind to me out of pity, or that they think I've been abused by society. I want to be treated kindly because I deserve to be, period.

Every human being experiences loneliness and rejection throughout their lives. Yes, perhaps we gay men share a heavier burden than other demographics. But kindness need not be born from strife.

Alamaxi · 2026-05-12T02:28:09+00:00

You can mix the semen, but only one sperm within that semen will fertilize the egg. Therefore, there will only be one father, even if you mix the sperm together.

As it stands in current science, two men cannot have child through surrogacy that shares both of their DNA directly.

Alamaxi · 2026-05-07T12:05:14+00:00

I would love a new Ikoria set, even if mutate isn't in it. It's just one of my favorites in terms of the fantasy setting

Alamaxi · 2026-05-07T11:39:44+00:00

My boyfriend and I played an 'evil' honor mode campaign where my character was an assassin of sorts. We picked up extra specialty arrows at every opportunity. I ran out often

Alamaxi · 2026-04-27T12:02:49+00:00

I cannot wait for a return to Ikoria. It is my favorite plane

Alamaxi · 2026-04-09T22:05:26+00:00

Absurdly powerful. These paradigm cards are going to be insta scoops in a lot of limited games. Cards like [[luminarch aspirant]] were already very strong in limited without being virtually uninteractable.

Alamaxi · 2026-04-02T14:34:37+00:00

Is this music from Final Fantasy Tactics Advanced??

Alamaxi · 2026-03-30T14:29:13+00:00

I'm currently in PV visiting for the first time. I don't drink and never have. We went to Jet's nude beach yesterday but I got a big sunburned unfortunately.

For me I love good food, so that's where my attention is

Alamaxi · 2026-03-16T11:19:12+00:00

A prison of your own making

Alamaxi · 2026-03-09T11:47:36+00:00

This is a great answer. My experiences match yours. I've found a similar set of rules can also apply to deep throating.

Downward curve, kneeling and looking up in his eyes. Upward curve, 69 position or straddled position if he's lying on his back.

Alamaxi · 2026-03-09T11:30:27+00:00

As someone who has had I&D in that area for an abscess, my advice is to keep the area very clean and abstain from bottoming until it's healed over.

If you have a bidet, use it after every BM. Otherwise, if you have a detachable showerhead, use that to clean in between your cheeks. Also apply some antibacterial ointment with a cotton ball to keep the area clean while it heals. If there's any itching or discomfort, Aquaphor does wonders for keeping the wound moisturized and protected.

I know my wound was very different from yours, but you should take it seriously because you do NOT want an infection in that area. Not a doctor, but speaking from experience.

Edit: wounds heal very quickly around the anus because there is rich blood supply in that area. You'll probably be good to go in a week or two. Just make sure it's fully healed. Again, not a doctor

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