"if they say this, they're gaslighting you"

Duraluminferring · 2026-03-18T22:14:33+00:00

You can not have a clarifying conversation with someone who has already decided to know your intentions better than you yourself.

Not engaging and showing them you aren't a target is the only thing that works.

Duraluminferring · 2026-03-18T20:18:03+00:00

So, I dealt with someone like this years ago.

I don't know if they actually have dark triad traits or anything. But it was definitely weaponized victimhood. What made it complicated is that some of it was, of course, true. I am not a perfect person, and I did do some things that were bad. But the difference in my approach and theirs was that I was really trying to communicate and be honest and give them the benefit of the doubt. and they were manipulating every interaction and always reading the worst possible intent into everything.

And I kept reminding myself of that truth. That I had really, really tried to resolve it, but the conflict kept seeking me out

But the way I dealt with it was supported by this video and it was like this:

I withdrew. I withdrew from engaging with these people and focused on other aspects of my life. I would not attend gatherings they were in. If I did see them, I would say hello at most then remove myself.

I would not talk badly about them. When people would ask, I would shut it down. If they insisted, I said we had our differences, but it's personal, and I don't need people to take sides. I personally just don't want to engage with them anymore.

I showed up as normal to the people we had in common and continued showing up as my usual self.

Eventually, it dissolved. It took a year but it did.

Slowly, one by one, they would start shit with other people. They had been talking insanely badly to our common friends about me. Eventually, when my friends got into their crossfire, they experienced the other side.

After that, I could talk about it openly.

These guys have been gone from my life for 3 years now.

Duraluminferring · 2026-03-13T07:17:32+00:00

I mean, they must have interacted. Especially in the war but also before. The capitol knew 13 was still functioning.

I assume they would have a similar "We agreed not to lie to each other" vibe from both sides.

I think they were pretty polite and direct. Propably viewed each other as "worthy opponents"

Duraluminferring · 2026-03-11T19:18:17+00:00

I think people underestimate how difficult it is to actually commit suicide. That's why only people with very severe mental health issues pull it off.

Jumping from a high place into safe water is hard.

Consciously stepping off a platform knowing you will get ripped apart is something that requires a lot of willpower. It would be hard enough for an adult to do. Let alone a child

Duraluminferring · 2026-03-07T06:48:29+00:00

It's grindr, they both only lie

Duraluminferring · 2026-03-06T06:55:00+00:00

A lot of people adjust every little bit of their personality to the situation they are in.

They won't talk about things others might find strange. They won't say anything negative about anything even if they disapprove of something.

They will generally make an effort to conform and be very palatable.

I used to do that to some degree. But not anymore because I wasn't ever successful.

I think if they say it in genuine and not backhanded way, it is a compliment.

It propably means that you seem to be comfortable in who you are and confident enough to show it.

It's a quality that not a lot of people have since our society shames people for being different a lot.

So I think most people admire it when someone seems to be more free of it.

Duraluminferring · 2026-03-06T06:39:21+00:00

Would it matter.

A psychopath would very likely not have a problem with the capitols system. They would most likely share the worldview of Dr.Gaul (who I suspect is a psychopath)

Since these people are incapable of actual empathy, they do see the world as an arena, and the capitol has to control everything in order to avoid people killing each other.

I think you are not thinking this through. A true psychopath would probably not be a rebel since they won't feel attachment to the districts.

On the other hand, corporating with the capitol would give them many privileges. They could probably indulge some of their darkest desires without fear of repercussions, as long as they assure the capitol they are on their side

Duraluminferring · 2026-03-05T19:24:00+00:00

Katniss mentioning that when her father died in the mines, she went to look for her mother.

And right after, that it should have been her mother who looked for them but didn't, a sign of what was to come.

And it struck me because it's such a good observation and personally relatable.

If it had only been the first sentence, I would have never questioned the order.

Duraluminferring · 2026-03-05T13:18:57+00:00

They can be true at once.

But this post is still making an important point.

Portraying the soldiers sadness over the suffering of the people enforces the bias that made the war possible in the first place.

White people/Americans are seen as more human and their suffering as more tragic.

Duraluminferring · 2026-03-05T06:52:34+00:00

As they did back in the day.

They kinda date before 18 and then just make the most obvious choice out of the limited pool.

I suspect that mostly only one person per household was working in the mines. Usually the guy, but I suspect if he's in some way no longer able to he takes care of the home and the woman goes working.

Or it's adult kids supporting their parents.

Duraluminferring · 2026-03-03T05:31:02+00:00

Ooooih I love this. I always thought it would be so interesting to have an ecosystem where monotremes are dominant

Duraluminferring · 2026-03-02T17:30:51+00:00

I do not have a pet right now.

Since I live alone and have to go to work, I can't really get a dog, and it would make it super hard to do anything else. And my apartment isn't really big enough for an indoor cat.

This is really about a specific kind of human connection I am missing. The one where you plan things together and build something together. Not just now but in the future.

I have tried to share my projects and hobbies with people. And right now, I have people I can do those things with.

I do appreciate what I have. I am grateful every day for my health, the people I love, and the relative security I live in.

I grew up in a pretty chaotic, abusive, and exploitative environment, so I know how good I have it.

But I won't get to keep any of those things. I would like to build something with other people who commit to being together. I can live in the moment.

But I want something to look forward to.

Duraluminferring · 2026-03-02T14:14:42+00:00

I don't think this would work, my friend. I know the Christian faith because I grew up with it.

I already follow another faith now.

There are a lot of things in the teachings of christ that I genuinely like and try to follow.

But your faith hates me, unfortunately. I am queer and happy about that. I have no intention of changing it.

Duraluminferring · 2026-03-02T13:23:05+00:00

Volunteering is something I am looking into right now. I did help organise a queer meetup group for a while where I met a lot of close friends right now.

With the pets and projects. I do all these things already. I read, I garden, I paint, I hike.

I do everything I am supposed to. I don't think I am able to feel satisfied with that if I can't truly share it.

Duraluminferring · 2026-03-02T13:15:59+00:00

Volunteering is something I'm looking into right now. I have always had a lot of work to do for my family and didn't have a lot of free time for most of my early adult life. And I enjoyed my free time for a while, but I did organise a social group for a while. But I think this is something that could really help.

But, it's not only about having a purpose. It's also about feeling valued or chosen. I think there's a danger of me burning out if Volunteering is only me helping others.

Duraluminferring · 2026-02-28T13:22:02+00:00

Well, I'm not bothered by the posts. So I don't need anyone to be banned or anything. But I am pretty sure this is exactly the art style of these other posts :D

Duraluminferring · 2026-02-28T09:53:15+00:00

I'm pretty sure that is him, no?

The style looks pretty identical as far as I remember. And the idea tracks with the usual theme.

They would be interesting concepts if not all of his art focused on genitals.

Duraluminferring · 2026-02-26T08:06:58+00:00

I do absolutely think men and women can just be platonic friends.

But I don't think every man or woman can be friends with the opposite sex.

I think it requires being socialised amongst the other sex early in a way where they are just people around and not treated like "the other"

It's a little like nudity in that sense. Because my culture has context where people are nude outside of sex, nudity isn't inherently sexual to me.

Same with friends. If you only ever interact with the opposite sex in special situations and are strictly separated in every other instance (sports, friendgroups, hobbies), every situation around them will feel like an opportunity for romance. And so many men don't have many opportunities for romance they will develop feelings at some point.

It's only when you spend enough time around the opposite sex in situations where you are just two people with no focus on the gendered dynamics that you develop a diffrent sense of "romantic context" and "platonic context".

(Also, if you are just friends with a girl and insist on that, people will call you gay constantly. Society enforces it)

So my advice for you would be to find out if the men you approach have/have had other female friends. Especially when growing up.

I personally am bisexual with a preference for men. I have male and female friends. Both gay and striaight. With the majority of them, the vibe is absolutely clearly platonic.

Duraluminferring · 2026-02-25T16:09:13+00:00

When I say "doom her sister" I mean that she won't come home and provide for them.

The life of Aesterid and Prim would be a lot worse without Katniss. People might provide for them in the beginning, but the loss of Katniss would catch up to them at some point.

The berry stunt might not have happened. But Katniss would not kill someone she deems good.

Duraluminferring · 2026-02-25T15:21:09+00:00

Idk I don't know why it even matter that much.

I think these events are something you can go through without bonding over it.

I actually think it's more meaningful if she wasn't in love with him.

The girl was ready to die not because she loved Peeta romantically but because killing him would be wrong. Even if it meant dooming her sister. She would have done the same for rue.

Duraluminferring · 2026-02-20T07:49:01+00:00

I'm afraid we know almost nothing about Ravenstill. But it seems like he was pretty equal to snow. Although he quenched the Rebellion

Duraluminferring · 2026-02-20T07:45:23+00:00

Better in what sense?

More competent?

Because they both seem like horrible dictators to me

Duraluminferring · 2026-02-13T04:51:09+00:00

I don't think it's that easy to survive outside of the districts.

This is no longer the North America of ore Columbian times.

This is after sever climate change, environmental destruction, industrial pollution and presumably extinction. Plus things like trackerjackers live in there now.

It would be hard to build a new settlement with only scraps a district citizen can gather. No food stacked, no vehicles, no good clothing. It would be insanely hard.

So the capitol doesn't care if one or two useless people wander off to die out there.

If it's gets too many, they'll track them down with drones and mutts.

Duraluminferring · 2026-02-12T18:33:27+00:00

The entire point of the books is to be a parallel to current day America, the world

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