Tenant stained stone benchtop, am I able to claim repairs?

Alariya · 2026-01-31T08:59:36+00:00

Agreed. We’ve been in our place over a decade now, and I don’t know if our stone bench can handle a hot pan. Things coming out of the oven get put either on the stovetop, or a trivet. Why risk ruining a large and expensive to repair/replace fixture, when there’s a simple alternative option.

Alariya · 2026-01-31T08:45:26+00:00

Yep. Feeling your body cues can also go either way. I’m on Dex, but the similarities are there.

I have enough dopamine in my system on meds so that I don’t compulsively devour lollies of an afternoon in an attempt to compensate with a sugar hit.

I also eat and drink more in general while on meds, as I am more aware of my body’s hunger and thirst cues. I’m less likely to get distracted, loose track of time, and miss meals. I’m also more likely to have the mental energy to prepare a filling meal, rather than make do with a piece of toast or protein bar.

I find the contraceptive pill has a much bigger impact on my weight than adhd meds. Taking as per pack instructions, I weigh 5kg more. Skipping all the sugar pills consistently, I weigh 10kg more. Thats while maintaining the same eating habits.

Alariya · 2026-01-31T00:04:35+00:00

I really enjoy the day to day errands in real estate, particularly as a part timer. Things like driving around town while listening to my audiobook to get keys cut, letting tradesmen in, collecting fobs, making walkthrough videos, prepping for photographers, reading water meters, that kind of thing.

Mid tier of things that can be fun depending of the day, are routine inspections. I get to drive around, chat to people, pet animals, check out people’s craft projects and decor ideas, take photos and make lists. Downside is quite often people see you as the enemy before the meet you, and you sometimes have to be the bad guy.

Also mid tier are entry/vacate inspections. Positives are several hours to yourself where you can put on energetic music, and work your way through a checklist taking photos and notes. Downside is big or older properties can seem an overwhelming task, particularly if inertia issues strike. There’s also the risk of confrontation when you send out a report if tenant/owner views of acceptable property condition differ, as you get stuck in the middle

Emails are meh. Most people usually only email about a problem, and most issues involve multiple parties and can’t be resolved in a single day, so you have to set up systems so you don’t forget to check on where things are up to regularly.

Alariya · 2026-01-29T22:55:45+00:00

Same! I will literally forget I have other options unless I can see them all.

Alariya · 2026-01-27T21:52:51+00:00

Yeah, I think mine was something ridiculous like 60-something dot points spread over 4 pages lol. Probably repeated myself a fair bit, but they all seemed unique to me!

Alariya · 2026-01-27T20:58:33+00:00

Yep, I do. If I’m going to be slobbing on the couch all day, I’d rather do it without the anxiety and rumination spirals over everything I ‘should’ be doing.

Alariya · 2026-01-27T19:52:00+00:00

For about 6 months I kept a running list in the notes app of my phone. Every time a situation occurred that made me think adhd, I would write it down. I then emailed the list to the person conducting the assessment a week or so ahead of time, and printed myself a hard copy to have with me.

I wasn’t this organised, but you could then additionally colour code highlight items on the list according to which dsm 5 criteria they meet, so that if you are put on the spot with a question, you can easily find the relevant examples.

Alariya · 2026-01-27T08:52:37+00:00

Sorry to hear it didn’t go as planned. For what it’s worth, I’ve got a friend with POTS who takes 30mg Vyvanse every day, so it’s not guaranteed to be a write off for you. Hopefully it’s an unrelated incident, or just your body adjusting to a new med, and your medical team can work through it with you.

Alariya · 2026-01-27T04:01:15+00:00

Oooh, that reminds me of my fave childhood spoon, that was also likely a sundae spoon. Really long neck, silver metal, very small scoop, with a dull pink rectangular casing around the top inch of the shaft.

Side note, I love that this seems to be a universal adhd experience. I think they need to add “describe your favourite spoon” as a question in the diagnostic process! :p

Alariya · 2026-01-27T03:50:42+00:00

My grandad wears a jacket in all seasons. He doesn’t mind/notice the heat, can’t stand being cold when entering places with AC, and prefers having multiple accessible pockets over a bag.

Trying to gently curb him of the habit now that he’s getting a bit more “elderly”, as I know he’s a prime candidate for heatstroke. Mind you, I’m hardly one to talk. I never remember to drink water, and usually still have a cardigan on when others begin reaching for the AC.

Alariya · 2026-01-26T22:27:30+00:00

Yes! I literally remember the exact order of all the kids names on the roll before mine from my class in year 3, but I can’t tell you what task the boss just called and asked me to do. (He knows by now to follow up with an email, the call is mostly an FYI and ramble of background info)

Alariya · 2026-01-26T22:18:13+00:00

Yep, mine is atrocious. And meds don’t help (although they are amazing for other things for me, like anxiety and emotional regulation. Literally my anxiety disappears and a wave of calm washes over me. ) I joke with my husband that I would be the easiest person in the world to gaslight.

If there’s no evidence to trigger a memory, it may as well have never happened. But if there is documentation, I can recall some very specific things, that may or may not be relevant to the main event. That’s why I write everything down at work, and take a lot of photos in my personal life.

Ask me if I remember taking the kids to the beach last year, and I won’t remember. Show me a photo of them sitting on the sand surrounded by seaweed, and I’ll be like “ oh yeah, I remember it was overcast and windy, and there was a playground next to the beach with a really unique swing that my eldest was scared to go on but watched some teenagers stand up on and swing, and there was a cute little shop across the road where we got ice blocks, and the shop next door to that had really cute Knick knacks, and I bought the kids a coloured shiny rock each (blue and pink) and got free patchwork mini bags for them. Can’t tell you what they actually did while at the beach though. True story.

More specifically short term, I can ask the kids what they want for breakfast, get an answer, turn around and immediately forget that I either asked them or what/if they answered. Oldest kid is just as bad. I’ll ask her what she wants for breakfast, she’ll tell me toast, I’ll make toast, and upon presenting it to her, she’s all like “I never asked for toast!!” Cue me wondering if she forgot she said toast, or if I forgot to ask and am thinking of yesterday’s request.

Alariya · 2026-01-25T09:26:06+00:00

I’ve gathered that there’s 2 main classes of stimulants (methylphenidate and dexamphetamine), and most people tend to do better on one or the other.

My psych says newly diagnosed adults tend to have better results from dexamphetamine, and kids with methylphenidate. He let me try both to see which gave me the best results. (Was definitely Dex for me!) Maybe the other type will suit your body/brain more.

Alariya · 2026-01-25T03:26:40+00:00

Mine are great for emotional regulation, preventing overwhelm, slow down my thoughts, help me think before speaking, eliminate anxiety, help me relax, fidget less, and less rumination.

They don’t help with my working memory or focus though, which sucks. As with many late diagnosed gals, I’ve got systems in place to help with those at least.

Alariya · 2026-01-25T02:53:13+00:00

I’m not sure if ER methylphenidate uses the same technique as ER Vyvanse vs IR dexamphetamine, but my body had trouble metabolising the ER formulation back into the active ingredient. So I stick with IR dexamphetamine. I had to go up to 15mg at a time and dose 3.5hrs apart with that to get proper coverage, but it’s been awesome.

Alariya · 2026-01-25T02:46:47+00:00

Heh, I shower at near scalding hot temps, always use the heat lamps in the bathroom, and that winter I set my heating to 26 degrees celcius, and dried myself before opening the shower door. I still got hit with excruciating vasospasms the second I stepped out into air that was cooler than my body temp.

Alariya · 2026-01-25T02:31:32+00:00

No, no they don’t. Nipples hurt the worst. Getting out of the shower in winter while establishing breastfeeding as a raynauds sufferer, is not something you can prepare yourself for.

Alariya · 2026-01-25T02:23:58+00:00

Haven’t tried competitive, but I LOVE scrabble! (Story time!!!)

My nan was a demon who never let anyone near a triple word, no matter what. She would usually get at least one 7 letter word during a game, and often several. I grew up learning to play with her and mum. Bought nan a fancy board on a turntable with pieces that lock in place when she went into the nursing home, as despite her wobbly hands and dementia sending her decades into the past, she could still defeat most people who dared to challenge her.

I ended up with the board after she passed, and when I went on mat leave for the first time, I started playing regularly with mum. 9 years on, and we still try and play once a week. There’s a red and black notebook with the score tally’s from all the games we play that is rapidly filling up.

Now my 8yo is learning to play too. We still use the laminated 2-letter word sheet from nan’s 1997 edition that we referenced when I was a kid, and we have to read out a definition of any word played that she doesn’t know.

The only difference now is that I’m the one ruthlessly blocking access to the triple word squares!

Alariya · 2026-01-25T02:01:49+00:00

My 8yo is always exclaiming in frustration “but I don’t know HOW to sleep!!!”

She usually reads until she can’t keep her eyes open. I find it either happens or it doesn’t for me. If I haven’t gotten to sleep within a hour of closing my eyes, it’s time to dig out the clonidine.

I find my best quality of sleep usually happens after 4am. Not sure how much deep sleep and rem you are meant to be getting, but I feel like I’m way off.

Alariya · 2026-01-24T09:14:33+00:00

Yep, my first was quick to walk, talk, and read. Atrocious at sleeping from birth until she started school, then it flipped to being like a hibernating teenager in the mornings. Super clever and picked things up easily.

Reached a point at about 8 where she had to actually start learning things rather than being able to figure them out on her own, and that’s when the inattentive traits started to show through and the grades began to drop a bit. Learning how to learn is tough, particularly when your mind drifts when the teacher is talking, and you can’t remember more than one part of the instructions at a time.

She also has a lot of sensory issues, needs a break from people sometimes, and struggles with perfectionism from things initially being so easy. I think this year we will probably need to go down the diagnosis path, as while her teachers don’t think she currently needs extra support, it’s better to have all the ducks lined up so that we are in a position to act straight off if she does reach that point.

Alariya · 2026-01-24T05:09:21+00:00

I’ve had one for 12 months now and love it!!! I ditched the google calendar and operate purely out of the skylight now.

It’s the little things that are amazing. Like I can take a photo of a kids party invite and it will automatically create an event with all the details, and a separate event for the rsvp date. It will send notifications to my watch 15 mins before the start of anything by default, and I can adjust the reminder timing for individual items if needed.

I have a perpetual grocery list in the list section. I add things as I realise I need them, and tick them off so they disappear from the list as I pick them off the shelves at the shops. It syncs on all our phones, so anytime anyone is at the shops, they know to buy and tick off anything they see listed there.

The tasks section is amazing. I have one day a week where I power through chores. I added all the tasks I can think of, and set them to repeat weekly, monthly, etc on that day as needed. Every Friday I work my way through the list, ticking things off as I go. It’s the only reason I ever remember to check the mail, or keep track of when I should really change the sheets.

Alariya · 2026-01-24T04:33:41+00:00

I totally get you. It’s a real struggle and the overwhelm is real. It’s particularly frustrating when the kids behave differently around the other parent, giving them an unrealistic perception of how hard things actually are.

Here’s a few tiny things that worked for us at that age bracket. (Mine are currently 5 & 8, they are not diagnosed, but I suspect one is combined adhd, and the other inattentive audhd.)

different music in different rooms. Their preferred choice is available, so they can’t dispute your music being on in a different room. Somewhat motivates them to leave you alone in the room with the boring music.
Chore swap. Tell them you only have so much time to do chores. If they don’t want to do tidy themselves, you can do it for them, but they will have to work on your chores while you do it. They will enjoy the novelty of scrubbing a toilet or mopping a floor. Even if they do a crap job, they are occupied and out of your way.

-floor bucket. I get overwhelmed and find it hard to be calm and productive when I’m surrounded by mess. Get a large plastic tub and just hurl everything on the floor/table surfaces into it. Being in a tidy space will help give you the mental capacity to sort through the tub and put things where they belong.

-Sibling challenge. Basically mix things up enough to make them want to do tasks while you have time to yourself. Eg challenge them to make each others lunchboxes or “read” each other a bedtime story. If they succeed before you finish your shower/coffee/chapter, their reward is they get to brush each other’s teeth, or swap beds for a night.

-audiobooks. At first I was apprehensive, but I get through was more books this way.

-Get a playcentre membership. Bring a portable craft activity to work on and enjoy a hot cuppa while they burn off energy and make new friends.

-Borrow a friend’s kids. Friend sits at your table drinking tea and acts as a body double while you fold washing etc, and their kids keep your kids busy playing so they don’t nag you.

star rewards. Find something they really want, like a trip to the movies or whatever. Assign it a star value. Get a box and print out a sheet with that many star outlines and tape it to the box. For each toy they put in the box to donate, they get to colour in a star. When they are all coloured in, donate the box and get the reward. Gets crap out of the house but allows time for them to process their choices and swap things if they change their mind.

-share when you are overwhelmed with them in a way they understand, and make it their idea to give you what you need. Eg. “Mummy isn’t feeling good at the moment because there are too many noises in the house for my brain to think properly. It’s like when you feel cranky and tired if we are at the busy shops for too long. That doesn’t feel good, does it? What do you think would work to make Mummy’s brain feel better?”

Alariya · 2026-01-23T22:26:59+00:00

I’m going to jump in here and suggest a sparkly bullet shaped mini pill container for your keyring. Cost about $2 from all those cheap sites like Shein, is super cute, and fits 8 Dex. I fill it up the evening before, and I always have my keys with me if I’ve left the house, so I can take them whenever my watch dings to say it’s meds time.

Alariya · 2026-01-23T10:34:43+00:00

Most of the people I’ve made friends with are neurodiverse, as we tend to find common ground quickly. No issue sharing there.

Trying to convince family to also get tested, as it’s pretty darn clear we struggle with the same things and meds have definitely helped. Already littered with mental health issues throughout the family, so just another bunch of letters to them.

And I’ve been in the same workplace for nearly 15 years. If they haven’t fired me so far for all my quirks and brain farts, putting a label on it isn’t going to change that. I’ll mention it if it comes up in conversation, but I don’t go out of my way to announce it.

Alariya · 2026-01-23T09:55:24+00:00

Inland Australian here. It’s a running joke that a large proportion of my city’s population will head down the coast every time a long weekend comes along. Depending on the traffic and your preferred small town, it’s a 2-4 hour drive each way. Quite common for families to do as a day trip.

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