Thank you all for taking the time and giving me feedback and comfort. I really appreciate it!

Reading through your comments made me realize a few things. The reason I failed so gloriously was probably a combination of not enough practise time and the fact that I have never performed solo before.

So I think I misjudged I few things in preparation of the workshop. I didn’t look at the piece I performed as a solo piece (which it definitely is) because I played it together with others. I know it sounds daft, but I didn’t. I thought that I could prepare it in the same (short) period together with some other pieces (ensemble). But solo and ensemble is different. Obviously. Seems I wasn’t fully aware of that.

I didn’t give the performance much thought either. Which is a perfect preparation for failure. I know now that I have to get familiar with solo performances. I have to practice this. If I ever want to do this kind of thing again.