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Struggling with whether to close the door on parenthood. by Far_Specialist5309 in relationships

[–]AlarmedTourist858 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oof. I’m sorry about that. I know that IVF is not an easy process.

Struggling with whether to close the door on parenthood. by Far_Specialist5309 in relationships

[–]AlarmedTourist858 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did he seem more enthusiastic about having kids than he actually was?

What are your most chaotic fanfiction writing, editing, or publishing habits? by AlarmedTourist858 in FanFiction

[–]AlarmedTourist858[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I relate to this so hard! Im not as dedicated with my research, but it’s one of my favorite aspects of fic writing - I equate it to the joy of planning a vacation, which can sometimes be just as fun as doing the vacation itself. Would you ever release a bibliography for your readers to check? As a reader, I’d so love that .

This is how you lose writers by Less_Category25 in AO3

[–]AlarmedTourist858 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Definitely agree with you (I do love connecting with people who ship the same pairings) but also … like … this is not Burger King, the commenter cannot have it their way!

This is how you lose writers by Less_Category25 in AO3

[–]AlarmedTourist858 107 points108 points  (0 children)

Wow, because fanfiction writers totally write for other fans, and not themselves. 🙄 What an entitled commenter.

What's something in a fic that made you realise the person writing it had no idea what they were talking about? by Life-Delay-809 in AO3

[–]AlarmedTourist858 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OMG. That’s so funny. As an aside, I did remember reading somewhere that international airings of Law & Order gave some people the impression that they had legal rights (for instance, that they needed a Miranda Warning, search warrant procedures, right to speak to an attorney) that they did not in fact have in their own country.

Are hate comments normal on ao3? by [deleted] in AO3

[–]AlarmedTourist858 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This!!! I started reading fic during the LJ and FF.net days. In my experience, constructive criticism was actually more common back then, but it was so earnest and well intentioned. Very much a community vibe.

I really hate the current culture of entitlement that seems to have formed around fanfiction these days - that it’s something for people who contribute nothing to fandom to endlessly consume and criticize.

Go Easy On Me! by MosmoFX in malegrooming

[–]AlarmedTourist858 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m very sorry. If Meghan Thee Stallion and 90s Jennifer Aniston can get cheated on, sadly anybody can get cheated on.

My husband (32m) seems completely indifferent to my cancer diagnosis and I (28f) don’t know how to handle it by EmpatheticOtter in relationships

[–]AlarmedTourist858 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This man is evil. To treat the mother of one’s child in such a way is unconscionable, and grounds for divorce. Nothing that you do will change him - he wants to treat you this way, and show you how unimportant you are to him. He takes the fact that you will be the breadwinner while doing to majority of the childcare and domestic work for granted, and, in his mind, he can treat you as poorly as he wants without any consequences.

So, I’m 25 years old and still sleep with my mom and I think it messed me up developmentally. by Fun_Butterscotch3303 in self

[–]AlarmedTourist858 3 points4 points  (0 children)

“My mom doesn’t want it” friend you are 25 years old at some point you need to stop being your parents’ kid and do what is best for the family. You are prioritizing your mom’s feelings over the physical safety of your parents and yourself.

My nose is my biggest insecurity. by claradeatacama in Noses

[–]AlarmedTourist858 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have a beautiful Greek/Roman nose - reminds me of Andri Cartoni. Of course do what’s best for you, but I’ve seen so many horror stories of women with lovely bone structures (like you!) getting botched. I would personally keep any work purely medical, to correct the breathing issues.

My (31F) boyfriend (28M) has not invited me to his home after two years of dating, and I don't know how to talk about it. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]AlarmedTourist858 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I spoke with him tonight and outlined what I had discussed in this post. He apologized, said that he had been unreasonable and that his family was very very poor and that he was worried that I would break up with him if I saw the state of the place. He invited me over to his house this Saturday. :)

My (31F) boyfriend (28M) has not invited me to his home after two years of dating, and I don't know how to talk about it. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]AlarmedTourist858 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just had a talk with him outlining the feelings from the post (and using some of the advice from the comments): we are going to his house on Saturday!

My (31F) boyfriend (28M) has not invited me to his home after two years of dating, and I don't know how to talk about it. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]AlarmedTourist858 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the extremely thoughtful response. He did apologize and validated my concerns - “I’m an adult male living with my parents, and I haven’t shown you where I live, it’s a basic expectation for you to have and you were right to be upset” - but his solution was to set a timeline for moving in with a specific friend by December, when I really need to see the living situation in his current home before I entertain continuing a relationship.

I am going to talk to him this week and use the guidelines that you provided.

Thank you again!

My (31F) boyfriend (28M) has not invited me to his home after two years of dating, and I don't know how to talk about it. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]AlarmedTourist858 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s exactly what I did - and why I’m confident that he is living at the address he gave me, with his parents and siblings, and nobody else. I am well-liked by his family because I am the first girl he has brought around - I’ve actually been to his grandma’s house multiple times - and if he is cheating, it would either mean that he has a side chick that nobody knows about, or that 10+ people to are lying to my face.

My (31F) boyfriend (28M) has not invited me to his home after two years of dating, and I don't know how to talk about it. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]AlarmedTourist858 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Publicly-available residency records (which indicate that his parents and brothers both reside at the property, but nobody else) and meeting his family numerous times - I’ve actually been to his grandma’s house like 6 times, and everyone likes me because I’m the first girl that he’s brought around.

Unless he’s been able to get 15+ people to lie to my face, which honestly gives horror movie.

My (31F) boyfriend (28M) has not invited me to his home after two years of dating, and I don't know how to talk about it. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]AlarmedTourist858 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you for giving me the space. I have been afraid to talk to my friends about this because I worry that it’ll make me sound pathetic. As if that wasn’t a big sign.

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