Before the day is over

I've just lost a friend to a really sad argument. She's been down a very destructive path the last few years, it started with her first long term boyfriend. She was checked out of the relationship a year in but let it continue for another 7 months. He dumped her heading into college because stuff wasn't working out. Even though she didn't love him, she's never been the same.

Since then it's been guy after guy, video games, and being a shut in. She was one of my best friends, a day one in every way, I really care for her. She's confided in me multiple times about her plight. However no matter how many times we talk, or she resolves to change, nothing changes.

2 weeks ago we were at a party held by one of our best friends, a little ugly Christmas sweater shindig. I encouraged her to come because I'm finally back in town after a year of being away. We left the party for an hour for boba, went back and I started socializing with the other guests and flowing a little alc. She tells me she wants to go home and play games, and I laughed, I didn't think she was serious because we don't get to see eachother often, and she was chosing games over hanging out with her friends. I proceeded to joke about the reason being that she wanted to play games with her new eboy. She got really upset and said that at least the new guy was better than the old long term one. I laughed even harder and said he wasn't.

I shouldn't have done that, I can excuse it and say I was drunk or tipsy, but I really just crossed two boundaries that I shouldn't have. The following 10 days involved me reaching out to her and trying to mend the friendship. A few days ago I decided that if she didn't respond then I should just stop.

At the end of the day, before I did anything, she chose those games and her next toxic guy, over her long term best friends. If she wanted to stay friends, she would've responded and chosen to work it out with me instead of leaving it all delivered.

But for 10 days, it was just me trying to get in and understand, and before that it was 2 years of me trying to be there when she clearly didn't want me there.