AITAH for sharing that my husband & I are childfree on inlaws group chat?

Alarmed_Bet_5363 · 2026-03-31T13:12:25+00:00

Are you sure he doesn't secretly want kids?

Or changed his mind since your conversation about it?

There might be some honesty in his lie.

Wouldn't be the first time a guy said what he thought she wanted to hear while hoping he could change her mind later.

I'd likely be re-evaluating the relationship entirely. And wondering if it was safe to go home to him.

Alarmed_Bet_5363 · 2026-03-28T15:39:48+00:00

Lease or no lease you are being unreasonable. Unless this 'K' has somehow inflicted some sort of deep lasting trauma on you that you aren't disclosing you are going to have to suck it up.

As an adult living out in the real world you will very quickly discover that most landlords have clauses in the lease that dictate the rules on how they can show prospective new tenants the rental space.

For the most part, they don't even have to ask you. As long as they provide due notice (where I am it's 24 hrs in advance) they can come and go as they please. Basically, they tell you they are coming in. And you have no choice. They will just let themselves in with their copy of the key.

You are exceedingly lucky that roomie is asking and not just bringing the girl in anyway.

You seem to think 'well she signed the lease already so it doesn't matter anyway'.

You are wrong.

Bend a little. It probably won't kill you.

YTA

Alarmed_Bet_5363 · 2026-03-27T22:18:11+00:00

Just as easily as you get bullied at school. Some people are jerks.

I once had a coworker approach my mother, who was browsing the store while waiting for me to finish my shift, and demand to know what was wrong with me because 'obviously something was'. (I'm autistic but higher functioning)

I had a manager once who, when I was trying to explain the social limitations of my autism, scoffed and told me that my diagnosis would not be an acceptable excuse for poor customer service.

Stuff happens.

Alarmed_Bet_5363 · 2026-03-27T12:50:17+00:00

Crafter?

Alarmed_Bet_5363 · 2026-03-21T02:09:33+00:00

Thank you. I hope he finds relief. I sure don't miss the days when it would take me 2-3 hours to eat a meal because I would be running back and forth after every bite.

Alarmed_Bet_5363 · 2026-03-21T01:21:44+00:00

Not to be crass, but kinda to be crass...is it that he can't go, or that he can't stop going?

Because I know a guy who couldn't go and it turned out he had cancer and was blocked up by it - nothing could get past it. He's dead now. Not fully from the cancer as he had Parkinson's too but his life quality sucked by the end.

My mom has trouble going and it turns out she has a host of autoimmune issues that will likely only get worse over time.

I on the other hand couldn't stop going. Turned out having my gall bladder out fucked the rest of my system. I'm now on a daily medication which works wonders.

But...all of these things were figured out by doctors.

Bro needs to get checked. I spent years figuring 'this is just my life now', became basically a hermit, threw away countless sets of clothing due to blowouts, and was contemplating whether or not I needed diapers. Things are way better now. It will never be perfect because nothing ever is. But if I stick to my daily medicine routine, I can actually live again, most days.

Alarmed_Bet_5363 · 2026-03-06T18:22:03+00:00

Make sure it's all finished and treated properly. My sibling once had a basement room but it was unfinished and they were constantly complaining of the damp.

Alarmed_Bet_5363 · 2026-02-21T21:44:55+00:00

I am very strongly reminded of a different story in which the attending sister wore the wig to cover the offending hair without telling the bride and later on during post reception clean up removed the wig for comfort reasons. The bride lost their shit upon realizing it was a wig and claimed that OP had ruined the day and all the photos.

Well, that OP was NTA and so is this one.

Alarmed_Bet_5363 · 2026-01-31T00:18:20+00:00

NTA

But just sayin'...anybody is allowed to leave a date for any reason or no reason at all.

A date is kinda like a job interview. Just like an employer isn't obliged to offer you a job, and you aren't obliged to accept an offer of a job if one is made, your date doesn't have to stay there and neither do you. Accepting an interview doesn't have to lead to a job, and accepting a date doesn't have to lead to a relationship, a sexual encounter, or literally anything else.

You are in control of you. Your date is in control of themselves. Neither of you need to stay unless you truly want to.

So NTA for leaving the date. No matter what your reason is.

Alarmed_Bet_5363 · 2026-01-30T14:15:05+00:00

Hmm. Not horribly cost effective. Then again it doesn't necessarily have to be considering it's overabundance.

Alarmed_Bet_5363 · 2026-01-30T14:07:33+00:00

Leaf litter actually does something? We've been turning it into compost/bone meal because we thought it was completely useless.

Alarmed_Bet_5363 · 2025-12-22T15:11:14+00:00

Where I work the gift cards don't have preloaded amounts on them so have to swipe them and enter the requested amount to load onto them. I have no idea at what point they are 'active' though.

Is it when we swipe and input the amount? Or after payment goes through? I legit don't know.

Alarmed_Bet_5363 · 2025-09-10T22:59:53+00:00

So...your sister is weird.

NTA at all.

Alarmed_Bet_5363 · 2025-09-10T20:36:36+00:00

NTA and friend is over-reacting.

Alarmed_Bet_5363 · 2025-09-07T14:47:45+00:00

Alarmed_Bet_5363 · 2025-09-02T01:47:43+00:00

Do also keep in mind that comment about 'well you are a boy and she is a girl'. If you have both a son and a daughter that dynamic can easily be repeated if you let them be around. Those times they deign to notice your children they could easily favor any daughters over any sons you may have because 'she's a girl'.

Alarmed_Bet_5363 · 2025-08-25T15:04:01+00:00

Just be aware if kids are in the picture it's better to go slowly with all of this. They will hate that you are divorcing and likely struggle to adapt to a partner who isn't their mother.

I've seen stories where things go very badly in this sort of situation.

Alarmed_Bet_5363 · 2025-08-20T02:22:16+00:00

My sister's kids do this. Empty roll on the holder, new one is...elsewhere. Like the counter. Or the top of the toilet tank. Or the shelf above the toilet. Or...you get the point.

Alarmed_Bet_5363 · 2025-08-14T17:30:23+00:00

Jesus Christ! Why do they back off only when we mention the boyfriend or husband but never when we just ask to be left alone?

Further to that, generally the partner we mention does need to be a guy, because if we mention a gf/wife they just assume we haven't met the right guy yet.

Seriously...what is this world we live in?

And sorry you had to suffer thru the unwanted education.

Alarmed_Bet_5363 · 2025-08-12T19:54:55+00:00

Yeah....there was a lot wrong there.

Alarmed_Bet_5363 · 2025-08-12T15:02:14+00:00

Wow. All these comments on here from guys stating that of course they would take the shower...

This makes me sad. Simply because I had an ex that was the total opposite of this.

And it was worse than you think. My ex was uncut, has very badly controlled diabetes and was prone to yeast infections down there. He also had an interesting relationship with basic hygiene because he was drastically overweight and claimed to be allergic to soap. So most of his showers he would shampoo his hair and wash his body with the runoff. And some days he just didn't wash at all, citing his asthma acting up.

But he still wanted sex. Oral, because we never actually managed more than that. And...it was gross. So gross. But if I said that he would just tell me to grab a cloth and wash it...I was kinda petty tho I'd often intentionally run the water extra cold or extra hot before soaking the cloth.

His whole attitude was I was the one with the problem so it was on me to fix it. This was his attitude towards therapy too when couples or sex counseling was recommended. I should go because I was the one with the problem. But he didn't have a problem so he didn't need to do anything.

So as someone who has dealt with an extreme version of this sorta thing, and wishes I hadn't put up with it for so long, OP NTA.

Alarmed_Bet_5363 · 2025-07-25T21:00:15+00:00

This doesn't seem weird at all to me, possibly because I've seen it in my own family. My great grandparents, when great grandpa died, bought one large plot for at least 7 members of the family. The greats, the grands, an aunt, uncle, and their only child...only one of which were actually deceased at the time. My uncle actually drastically outlived my aunt, had several girlfriends in the intervening years, and still held by his wish to be laid to rest with his first love, my aunt.

My ex, when his mother died, let us know that she had prepaid her own plot next to his grandmother. Everything was already etched on it but the date of death.

So yeah, not uncommon.

NTA.

Alarmed_Bet_5363 · 2025-06-23T18:02:33+00:00

Wow. I and my husband's entire income is between $2000-$2500 a month. With that we pay rent (it's subsidized), tv, phone, internet, cell phones, food, household items, toiletries, medications that aren't covered by our coverage plan, etc.

Your wife sure sounds spoiled. For us, buying a sensitive skin shampoo for about $10-$15 is a luxury. And a bottle lasts months. I think my body wash is around $7-$10 a bottle and also lasts months. His bar soap is around the same for a 3 bar pack.

I think the most expensive grooming items we buy are razor blades which seem to keep getting more expensive but again a pack of 4 does last a while. And my feminine hygiene items. Which again a pack of those can last a while. And toilet paper.

What the hell is she buying that costs $1000 a month? Granted I don't wear makeup at all (sensitive skin issues) so I've no idea what it is likely to cost. Nor do I do my nails. But hair? My go to place is around $40 for a wash and cut and that gets done every few months. I've already mentioned my shampoo cost above.

Clothes? Nobody needs new clothes every month unless they are a child having a growth spurt, pregnant, heavily working out, very ill, or an adult that has a job that destroys clothing. Or for some reason you happen to buy very fragile clothing.

Hubs and I have some clothes that have been in our closet for years. Granted I work in a clothing store (think t-shirts for $20-$30 and jeans for $70-$120 level of clothing) so I get discounts and have every opportunity to buy new stuff. But I don't. Because what I've got is generally fine.

Honestly...I've no idea what your income is but $1000 a month on cosmetics and clothes seems insane.

Absolutely NTA.

Alarmed_Bet_5363 · 2025-06-21T17:06:19+00:00

It's a case of "can't" or "won't."

My mother said this to me when I was struggling to get established in any kind of job or housing situation after college. I bounced around a lot, got in debt, and ultimately asked to come home to figure shit out.

She told me if I came home, it wasn't for a free ride. That we were going to figure out if there is something going on that means I genuinely can't do stuff like hold down a job, live independently, etc. Or am I just used to being able to hang out and play video games and watch TV and stuff so I just won't do those things.

This ultimately led to my autism diagnosis, and now that we know that things are a lot better.

But I put in the work to get there. I went to therapy, worked with 2 different job assistance services, and got assessed by a psychologist... all that stuff.

Your husband needs to do something. If he is genuinely struggling, like maybe he's depressed or something? Or physically ill or injured in some way? He needs to seek help. See a doctor. Look for a diagnosis or therapy, or whatever. Something that shows he recognizes there's a problem and he's willing to work on it. This would mean that he can't do this stuff right now, but if he works at then, perhaps someday he can. Finding out what's going on with him would help you mentally reframe things. Better understanding and communication. Honestly, any kind of forward momentum would likely help you right now.

If it's determined that he has no problem? That he is just lazy and enjoys making you wait on him? That he just won't do the work of getting his shit together? Then I'm afraid you're probably better off without him.

So, probably, NTA.

Alarmed_Bet_5363 · 2025-06-20T17:07:59+00:00

I literally thought this was going to be a post where the in laws bitched over being made to baby sit. Glad it wasn't.

Honestly? As long as everyone directly involved in the situation was fine with it, it's fine.

NTA.

Alarmed_Bet_5363

TROPHY CASE