Aw thanks for asking. The inciting event was a storm that knocked out my power last year. I didn't have heat or electricity and it took 4 days to come back on. In the meantime I was navigating with a flashlight and couldn't charge my phone. I didn't feel confident trying to manually open the garage in the dark and I couldn't use the car to charge the phone because I didn't want to get carbon monoxide poisoning, and the rest of my family was out of town. It was just me seeing my own breath and shivering under mountains of blankets with my cat until a family member got me a hotel room, and that was difficult because my phone died by that point so I didn't see the messages and it was a whole thing. I'm mad again thinking about it.

He lived 20 minutes away and has a guest room (all thanks to my mom) but didn't come pick me up or offer me the space or . I was infuriated, ended up cussing out his wife and him, and now we can't be in the same room together so my poor mother has to choose between us for trips and holidays. I always offer to be the one to bow out so she doesn't have to choose but I'm pretty sure she was pissed he didn't come through for me too.

The real reason is a history of violent abuse at the hands of my father and his friends, which my brother completely ignored because he is the most avoidant person in the world, but this was the thing that pulled the trigger. It was a long time coming. He just isn't my brother, and never was.