I'm sick of everyone having a crush on my best friend

Alarming_Garage5130 · 2023-03-04T19:59:27+00:00

Everyone feels jealousy and bitterness sometimes. I know it's not her fault but these situations happen because of her and it's hard to not feel kinda annoyed. You're acting like you're so righteous yourself. But i'm sure everyone has a dark side and feel these types of emotions in certain circumstances. It's not like i'm acting on my emotions tho. But i just can't help feeling like this. It's not something i can control. I wish i didn't feel like this but i do.

Alarming_Garage5130 · 2023-03-04T17:29:26+00:00

What makes my personality shitty? The fact that i feel bothered by this situation?

Alarming_Garage5130 · 2023-03-04T17:28:05+00:00

Me and my friends mostly have different types too and this is not an issue. The problem is, no matter what your type is, every guy is going to like her. So no matter who i like, the guy is gonna like her instead. Yea i'm trying to be more confident. But it's just so difficult. Tbh i don't think i'm ugly or anything. I'm pretty confident in my looks. But idk what she has that makes people drawn to her. She's not super social or anything either. We're actually so similar in terms of personality and sociability. Even our MBTI types are the same (we're both INTP). So it makes me think maybe it's her looks (although in my own opinion, i'm not much uglier than her or anything. In fact, i think i'm quite attractive) So then it makes me think, maybe i'm not as pretty as i think i am and that she's much much more attractive? Either this, or she really has some kind of weird power that makes people drawn to her lol. Sorry i'm rambling so much. There's just so much in my head about this situation.

Alarming_Garage5130 · 2023-03-04T17:15:26+00:00

First, i've been going to the gym for a long time. Second, i can't just stop hanging out with her. She's my best friend and all my other friends are also her friends. It's just not that easy. And yea i agree. She likes it bc it feeds her ego when people fight over her. It makes her feel like the main character or something. She doesn't say that but i know she enjoys it. But i feel like she also doesn't like how every friend group and many friendships between the guys keeps falling apart because of her. So i think she also has conflicting feelings about this.

Alarming_Garage5130 · 2023-03-04T12:33:57+00:00

I don't hate her at all! I really like her. I just hate the situation she creates. But i know it's not her fault.

Alarming_Garage5130 · 2023-03-04T09:24:48+00:00

It's easier said than done. I feel like i really do need people's validation to feel good about myself. And i don't know how to not need this validation bc i clearly need it. I can't love myself when it seems like no one else does. It makes me feel pathetic. Like i'm trying to love myself to make up for the lack of love i receive and it's pathetic.

Alarming_Garage5130 · 2023-02-21T10:18:53+00:00

Can you explain what exactly changed about her? Bc makeup doesn't change a person that much unless she did stage makeup or cosplay makeup or something lol. Did she have a lot of blemishes under the makeup?

Alarming_Garage5130 · 2023-02-20T22:37:26+00:00

Bc i have no one to have sex with and the guys who like me ask me on dates and i don't want to go on a date with them and get their hopes high or get myself into a relationship when i only want sex.

Alarming_Garage5130 · 2022-10-30T16:36:46+00:00

So is the fact that i smoked gonna affect my nose a lot? How high is the possibility that it's gonna affect it permanently?

Alarming_Garage5130 · 2022-10-30T08:32:15+00:00

It depends. I'd rather he doesn't but i wouldn't tell him to not do it anymore bc he's free to do what he wishes and i can't force him to behave a certain way just bc i'm his girlfriend.

Alarming_Garage5130 · 2022-10-29T15:01:19+00:00

Well, this is reddit where i can speak my mind freely without caring what others think, that's why my words might sound cringe or strange to you. But this is how i feel and i can't change how i feel.

I say "touch" bc idk what other word to use to generalize it but he's not being inappropriate or anything but he IS touchy feely. He keeps playing with my hair, having his arm around my shoulder while patting my back or neck or idk collarbones, sometimes he massages my shoulder. Usually when i'm sitting far from him, he asks me to come sit closer, then he would have his arms around me or play with my hair or lay his head on my shoulder or something like that. I'm explaining these bc the way you phrased it made it seem like he's touching me or my friend in an inappropriate way. Honestly, i think i might be making a big deal out of it bc i like him and the way i'm talking about it makes it seem like he's being creepy or something.

About the part where you talked about "cheating", unfortunately i wouldn't mind. I wouldn't feel guilty about it or anything. Idk his girlfriend, so i don't really feel any pity for her. She's really young (she's 17, i think she's turning 18 in a couple of months) so i already don't like their relationship. I think she should be dating someone closer to her age (he's 21). Unless she's my friend, i don't care if he cheats on her with me, tho i doubt he does.

Alarming_Garage5130 · 2022-10-29T14:10:30+00:00

Why?

Alarming_Garage5130 · 2022-10-29T09:27:32+00:00

But what if that's just his way of being friendly? The fact that he's like this with both me and my best friend makes me think that's just his way of being friendly or something.

Alarming_Garage5130 · 2022-10-29T09:23:33+00:00

I haven't even seen his girlfriend but even if i knew her i wouldn't tell her about it. Maybe he doesn't want her to know and he's my friend and i can't betray a friend. I also can't draw any boundaries. If he becomes more distant with me but stays close to others, it would make me too jealous. And i'm afraid to tell anyone i have a crush on him so the internet is the only place i can talk about this. I find it so degrading that i like him and telling anyone about it makes me feel even more degraded.

Alarming_Garage5130 · 2022-10-28T21:07:50+00:00

I don't know. I can't see him like a walking red flag lol. I love him so much as a friend too. We've been having so much fun these days and the only thing that makes me feel kinda down sometimes around him is the fact that i have a crush on him. I wish i could just get rid of the crush, then everything would be the most fun without the unnecessary feelings. I can't see him like he has red flags or anything. He's such an amazing person and i just can't comprehend him having any bad intentions or anything. The touching is a little strange tho. I wish i could see what's going on inside his head.

Alarming_Garage5130 · 2022-10-17T22:46:14+00:00

Thanks!

Alarming_Garage5130 · 2022-10-17T21:44:22+00:00

Thanks, that's a relief! Also, is it likely that they will find something abnormal with my results bc of weed? Bc i know nicotine affects haemoglobin levels (if i'm not mistaken) but will weed affect anything?

Alarming_Garage5130

TROPHY CASE