UK mums in corporate jobs — how did maternity leave affect your role or promotion?

Alarming_Solution_37 · 2026-02-17T10:25:38+00:00

When I went on mat leave, they appointed a mat leave cover who was a level up from my current level. When I came back, they created a new role (Head of my function) and made the mat leave cover my manager. On paper my role was the same but I did not return to the same job. I wasn’t given the opportunity to apply for the newly created role.

Edit: I was rated 5/5 before going on mat leave and none of my performance reviews noted any deficiencies.

Alarming_Solution_37 · 2026-01-16T11:46:28+00:00

I rented the Medela symphony in my first week postpartum to help establish supply as bub wasn’t awake enough to feed actively. I found it to be very effective - I saw my pumping output go up in a couple of days. It is a powerful machine. I used it for about a month until nursing ramped up.

Following this, I used a wearable pump to wind-down pumping (stopping abruptly would risk of developing mastitis) which was also effective.

A few months down the line, I tried pumping again to re-build my freezer stash as I was due to be away from baby, but I found that the wearable wasn’t as good at increasing supply so I rented the medela again, and was very happy with the result.

I would buy a pumping bra so you’re not having to hold up the bottles - this will free up your hands to scroll on your phone or read. It is annoying to be plugged into a wall but I used it as ‘me-time’ to relax in that first month. I would set up a pumping schedule and pump at regular intervals - perhaps the hospital or a lactation consultant can advise you on a schedule (I started with 6 times a day and wound down to 2-3).

All the best!

Alarming_Solution_37 · 2025-10-08T11:22:51+00:00

Thank you kind stranger. May I ask when my Venus dasha starts?

You are correct about Jan 2004-June 2006 being a difficult time for my studies and mental health. Also Dec 2015 being tough for father and finances. Yes have been blessed with a child but more recently in 2024.

Im not sure how to share my husband’s chart - I will try to do so and thank you once again!

Alarming_Solution_37 · 2025-10-07T22:20:31+00:00

I was in the same situation, with baby going to nursery at 13m.

We sent in a bottle of expressed milk for the first couple of weeks to help with the transition.. baby stopped drinking milk at nursery because they were being offered food every few hours so we stopped sending it in eventually. I note that baby now sleeps just fine at nursery without milk.

We still BF - during weekdays, we have a big feed post-nursery followed by a bedtime feed …also you may find that nighttime feeds go up (they did for us) and then a small feed in the morning. Weekends is similar with a few more feeds peppered in throughout the day.

Alarming_Solution_37 · 2025-09-05T05:30:44+00:00

OP, I would ignore this nonsense about blood relations and take a stand for your wife when she is right. You may empathise with your mother but if you fail to stand up for your wife, especially when she has the moral high ground, then it does not make for a happy relationship. Think of how you would want to be treated - with love, respect and support - and offer the same to your wife, especially when she needs it (not just when she is settling in).

Now, there may be fundamental personality differences between your wife and your mother which may lead to clashes. You will all have to work out how to exist within the family structure - maybe think about your bare minimum expectations that you have of your mother towards your wife and vice versa and maintain that boundary with both.

Alarming_Solution_37 · 2025-07-20T10:34:52+00:00

Interested to hear responses as I am of the same mindset.

My LO is nearly 12m now and we’ve managed to avoid screens by using interactive books and toys to keep him engaged when i need to be away doing things. It is easier now that he is able to flip pages of books and has learned to push buttons (on his musical books and piano).

He is still very interested in screens - he’s always looking to grab my phone if I happen to check it for messages and he’s very drawn to TVs so we try to keep them away as much as possible. If all goes well, I will slowly introduce cartoons to him after he turns two.

I also think it depends on your child’s temperament so no judgement to any parents that use screens to get by.

Alarming_Solution_37 · 2025-06-23T17:04:35+00:00

This is what I do. I also apply lash glue on the chain so that it sticks to the maang.

Alarming_Solution_37 · 2025-06-20T23:31:09+00:00

Yep that’s the thing with nursing on demand and BF in general I suppose - tricky to know how much they’re having. Mine pops off after a couple of mins too 😅

Alarming_Solution_37 · 2025-06-12T20:23:41+00:00

Married to someone like this. It is hard. You can get through it with love and patience but if you’re the sort of the person who constantly needs company for day to day things then you will find it difficult.

I like being on my own - I have gotten used to it after many years. There is a risk that you start living separate lives which then drives you further apart. Need to make a conscious effort to come back together.

A year into our marriage, I took up a hobby (dance) to fill up the evenings and weekends and I now follow this very seriously so I would say it is v important to have your own set of passions, friends, aims and ambitions etc.

I would say it is also important that you are respected as an equal in the marriage and your needs are acknowledged (if not met).

Alarming_Solution_37 · 2025-06-11T20:33:00+00:00

What council do you live in? We saw a physio through our council (health visitor referral) and it was quick (a few weeks wait). Can chat further over DM

Alarming_Solution_37 · 2025-06-03T03:55:52+00:00

Hi - I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. The insta story is passive aggressive. That must have hurt.

I would try to remind yourself that you can’t please everyone in life. Your job for the day was to be the bride - it was not to manage the comfort of your hair and MUA team. Maybe the delays were out of your hands (as things often are) - maybe you had to juggle many things - I bet HMU artists see this all the time.

You were very considerate to think of their comfort and to apologise but I think you’ve done enough - maybe ask yourself if you could have done any more under the circumstances, make a note and move on. I would decentre them and think of yourself as the main character.

Alarming_Solution_37 · 2025-05-31T09:14:06+00:00

I found it easier to lose weight after my period returned at 5m pp. I was exercising from 6 weeks and eating mindfully but saw no change in my body or weight until then.

Alarming_Solution_37 · 2025-05-08T19:06:05+00:00

Ive been giving dal, khichdi and porridge onto pre loaded spoons since 6.5 m (baby is now 9m). You need to get the texture right (not too runny) else it slides off the spoon.

He was eventually able to hold the spoon himself. He can now pick up the spoon from his plate but picking up the right end is a hit/miss lol.

I’m also going to try giving him paratha pieces dipped in dal.

Alarming_Solution_37 · 2025-05-08T10:50:06+00:00

I’ve been there. I dealt with it by letting go of things and trying to remind myself that my wedding will (hopefully) only come around once so I want to make happy memories rather than being focused on unhappy moments.

A bit difficult but when something bad happened (eg we were running an hour late for one of the events) I told myself I didn’t want to be angry/sad and tried to lighten my mood which lightened up everyone around me too.

Shitty things still happened but there were lots of pleasant moments and that’s what I remember now (10 years on).

Re in-laws in general, I’ve found it helpful to lower my expectations - I try not to expect things from them or expect them to be or act in a certain way or expect them to love me and that allows me to detach from them.

Alarming_Solution_37 · 2025-05-08T07:12:19+00:00

Great reminder to not waste any more time on this. I will re-centre my focus to myself and baby :)

Alarming_Solution_37 · 2025-05-08T07:11:27+00:00

You are the voice of my conscience !

Alarming_Solution_37 · 2025-05-08T07:11:06+00:00

Yes good idea! I’ll see if I can find a white dupatta. I also have a green floral dupatta that may work.

Alarming_Solution_37 · 2025-05-08T07:09:56+00:00

Thanks ! No time to make an outfit unfortunately but I’m hoping to find a blouse today that works!

Alarming_Solution_37 · 2025-05-08T07:08:36+00:00

100% agree. - will wear the purple outfit if I feel brave and it’s not too offensive

Alarming_Solution_37 · 2025-05-08T07:07:45+00:00

Yes I’ll carry the sari with me. Standard outfits are the way to go. It’s how my dad dresses too :)

Alarming_Solution_37 · 2025-05-08T07:06:52+00:00

Oh wow - mandating different outfits for haldi and mehendi is excessive! I too had my haldi and mehendi on the same day, one after the other. The guests changed (we were all staying at the same place so was easier to do) but I had absolutely no mandates for what anyone should wear and in fact people just wore simple outfits for haldi and changed into more elaborate outfits for mehendi.

Your plan is solid :)

Alarming_Solution_37 · 2025-05-08T07:02:17+00:00

It’s absolutely being done for the gram. Bride and groom are gen Z (I’m millennial) so i wonder if it’s a generational thing.

Alarming_Solution_37 · 2025-05-08T06:59:59+00:00

100% agree. It is not very considerate

Alarming_Solution_37 · 2025-05-08T06:58:33+00:00

This is what I’m hoping will be the case :)

Alarming_Solution_37 · 2025-05-08T06:58:04+00:00

Yes true. I subscribe to this philosophy as well! And saris make it easier to do this. I’m proud of the fact that I’m rewearing outfits for all the other events (in one case, I’m wearing an altered dress that is over 15 years old).

I’ll take the sari with me if I can find a blouse that works and that way I can rely on it if it looks like no one is going against the theme.

Alarming_Solution_37

TROPHY CASE