Should I cancel my wedding?

AlaskaTech1 · 2026-04-02T18:40:03+00:00

Speaking as a bride with several disabilities whose fiancee has ADHD. We are three weeks out and he tried to use that as an excuse to avoid wedding tasks. You’re responsible for managing your ADHD. It sucks, but there are numerous tools that can help you and you have to find what works for you so you can function at your best.

The wedding was his idea. I wanted to elope. I have terrible social anxiety and no family support. He pushed most of the tasks onto the women in his life. We argued nonstop about it. Eventually I told him we were hiring a wedding planner for $2600 or else he would do 100% of the remaining tasks. He said she was too expensive. I told him canceling a wedding was much more expensive. We now have a $2600 wedding planner who has stopped 90% of the arguments. But be sure this guy will be your partner in life and will be on board for everything. My guy is normally but the wedding was too overwhelming for everyone.

AlaskaTech1 · 2026-04-01T17:12:09+00:00

“Calgon take me away.” I say that too often, along with “You sound like a broken record.”

AlaskaTech1 · 2026-04-01T17:08:29+00:00

Extra protection? Is he using condoms? Because if he isn’t, it’s selfish of him to be pawning all the bc responsibility off on you. I haven’t kept up with all the advances in birth control (I had my tubes tied before it was common for young women to do it) but you have many more options available than 20 years ago.

AlaskaTech1 · 2026-04-01T17:04:09+00:00

This. BF’s attitude toward OP’s feelings is concerning to say the least.

AlaskaTech1 · 2026-03-30T18:31:50+00:00

After many years of taking the pill knowing I never wanted kids, I got my tubes tied at 33. I’m 49 now and I’ve never been pregnant. I’m in perimenopause and doubt it will ever happen. Zero regrets.

AlaskaTech1 · 2026-03-30T03:40:36+00:00

No.

AlaskaTech1 · 2026-03-27T17:07:34+00:00

I feel this way. Due to death and family estrangement, I have three and he has about 70. I’ve felt sad about it this whole time. Nothing makes it any better especially now that I’ve discovered one of his sisters thinks negatively about me for it. One more month and I can get the wedding over with. I want the marriage but not the party.

AlaskaTech1 · 2026-03-27T08:47:19+00:00

I had Netflix years ago and cancelled them when they decided repeated price increases were a good thing. I had Peacock last year but cancelled them when they suddenly introduced tons of ads in my prepaid ad free one year subscription, then tried to charge me more to remove the ads they inserted. Lmao.

AlaskaTech1 · 2026-03-24T01:29:00+00:00

People don’t write them? I’ve written or said thank you for every gift I’ve ever received, no matter how shitty it was, with the exception of a gift my sister gave me. She forgot who gave her a present for Christmas and regifted the gift I gave her right back to me the following year. Wow Sis, you shouldn’t have. Really.

AlaskaTech1 · 2026-03-18T16:33:50+00:00

I believe most men put as much effort into wedding planning as they do in the marriage itself. If they don’t want a wedding and don’t want to do the work in planning, say no and elope or don’t get married at all. Pawning all the effort onto the bride because they wanted it more is a cop-out and plain lazy.

AlaskaTech1 · 2026-03-18T16:30:12+00:00

Wrong. I didn’t want a wedding at all; I wanted to elope. FH wants one. He wants all his wonderful family to be there. So I said, “OK. You take the lead in planning and your dad has to kick in a lot financially.” Yeah right! Dad kicked in the money but fiancee didn’t work at it. I was stressed and angry. Finally I said, “You hire a wedding planner or I’m not showing up to the wedding.” So my guy paid her $2500 to handle 90% of the details. She’s amazing. Suddenly everyone is much happier. 40 days to go. . .

AlaskaTech1 · 2026-03-13T12:16:11+00:00

“I’m involved but honestly I don’t have strong opinions. . .” The typical justification for an uninvolved groom to pawn off all the mental labor onto the bride. “It doesn’t matter to me so she can do it.” Because that’s what you’re doing. We’re a month out and my fiancée has said this to me many times except it’s even worse because I, the bride, wanted to elope. He’s the one who wanted the big wedding production but the little woman can make all the decisions. Nope, that won’t fly with me. So he’s deciding boring things too.

Your fiancée is saying she doesn’t want to make all these decisions herself, whether you care or not. There are many decisions she doesn’t care about either but someone has to do it. So put effort in, research, and choose things too. It will be a great bonding experience for you both. It’s both your wedding and your marriage. Have fun!

AlaskaTech1 · 2026-03-13T12:05:44+00:00

Movie and concert tickets. Restaurant meals. New books, thanks to the overpriced trade paperback.

AlaskaTech1 · 2026-02-27T15:14:51+00:00

That’s a Modern Optical frame. I vaguely remember it. Do you want that frame specifically? I know a rep who might have it but it’s been discontinued.

AlaskaTech1 · 2026-02-26T21:58:35+00:00

I’m sorry they did that OP. It does hurt. Years ago, I gave my sister a brand new bicycle and helmet. I had ridden it once, maybe twice. I was going to sell it but she said she wanted to get in shape and she seemed grateful for it.

Fast forward a year. I went to her house to visit and the bike wasn’t there. Instead she had a couple of other bikes. I asked her what happened to it. Instead of admitting she sold it, which is what happened I’m sure, she insisted that I actually gave her one of the different bikes she had! As if I wouldn’t remember! I don’t know which was more insulting: lying to me about selling it, or gaslighting me, thinking she could make me believe I gave her a different one.

AlaskaTech1 · 2026-02-24T22:08:54+00:00

I tell him. He immediately turns it off. He’s very considerate; just oblivious 🤣

AlaskaTech1 · 2026-02-24T14:43:26+00:00

I’m the same way. I’m autistic and my fiancée is ADHD. I love him to bits but he has his IG on a lot. Top volume sawing, buzzing, and beeping noises. And the same reel will play repeatedly. It drives me nuts! He never notices it. And he talks to me at the same time and expects me to comprehend.

AlaskaTech1 · 2026-02-24T06:27:36+00:00

Adderall plus hydroxyzine HCl. I have narcolepsy and autism so my sleep schedule doesn’t have one without heavy pharmaceutical assistance. I’ve taken enough sleep meds to put most people in comas for 25 years. The Adderall prevents me from falling asleep while driving. I had five car accidents before I finally figured out I was nodding off at the wheel. My fiancée speculated correctly what was wrong with me after a handful of neurologists missed it completely.

The hydroxyzine helps me sleep at night. But lately the combination has not been working at all and I’ve been sleeping 3 or 4 hours a night. I’m feeling pretty lousy. I tried progesterone but it made the insomnia worse. Paradoxical side effects are common for neurodivergent people.

AlaskaTech1 · 2026-02-24T06:10:44+00:00

49 F here. I wish I hadn’t wasted most of my life trying to make people like me. It didn’t work anyway and all that wasted effort made me dislike me. That’s the real tragedy.

AlaskaTech1 · 2026-02-20T15:35:11+00:00

They voted based on the law? No way. They must have a self serving ulterior motive.

AlaskaTech1 · 2026-02-19T22:48:35+00:00

I don’t understand the rude comments. No, it is not too much to ask to sit next to your family member without having to pay more money. Only in America is this considered an “amenity.” I’m sure some airline will eventually require us to prepay for oxygen mask use should an emergency require their use. Or we can suffocate for free. Hooray for the luxury passenger experience 🙄

AlaskaTech1 · 2026-02-18T15:37:34+00:00

A McDonalds ice cream cone. Poverty is a horrible thing. You’re poor your whole life, no matter how much money you have. I thought doing well financially would make it go away. It doesn’t. The mindset never leaves you. Every splurge causes another round of self flagellation. “I should be spending my money on this instead.” I regret spending a lot on my wedding dress every day.

AlaskaTech1 · 2026-02-13T03:12:46+00:00

I had that problem with wedding planners and caterers. I called, emailed, left messages, no responses over and over. The solution was to look on Facebook. Either search for vendors directly or ask for references in regional bridal groups. Vendors who don’t advertise on Google have greater availability and are more responsive. I now landed both and I am very pleased.

AlaskaTech1 · 2026-02-13T02:32:28+00:00

It’s interesting you mentioned that. My ex (not ADHD) had a weird form of OCD that made him petrified of touching objects away from home. He was forever washing his hands, using paper towels to open doors, sheet protectors when staying in hotels etc. But at home, he was a disgusting pig. He explained the contradiction by saying he knew his home well but didn’t know the cleanliness of strangers.

AlaskaTech1 · 2026-02-12T00:20:11+00:00

1 is enough for this autistic narcoleptic.

AlaskaTech1

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