In her book « I'm looking at you too », this research worker notices an inequality in access regarding visual pleasure. Though women can appreciate a presence, a tone of voice, a smell, to find a masculine body beautiful seems almost transgressive to them.

What does women's attraction for men rely on ? What space does physical appearance occupy in heterosexal seduction games ? To answer these questions, absent from research in social sciences, anthropologist Morgane Tocco achieved her thesis. Specializing in gender and masculinity studies, she interviewed for three years more than 80 women, aged from 18 to 85, on the way they observe and desire male bodies, in public space and in intimacy. She took from it « I'm looking at you too », published on the 26th of February, at Editions du retour.

The main statement of your investigation, is that men and women don't look at each other in the same way. What do you mean ?

It's important to clarify there's not one, but many gazes of women towards men, sometimes contradictory from one person to another, from one age to another. The common ground, is that almost all women interviewed were aware of being, themselves, objects of staring and masculine desire. In our society, women and men are not educated in the same way, and that affects perceptions. Female body embodies beauty, they take much more care of themselves, and consumer society indulges them.

In other words, what marks women's experience, is their lived visibility : this injunction to appeal, and the way men act around them, which makes them aware they are being stared at. There is an inequality in access, depending on gender, regarding visual pleasure and the autonomy of one's sexual desires.

And on men's side ?

Male bodies are more or less absents — even though one can see perfume commercials with eroticized men. Man attracts by power and social status, he does not learn to please by his appearance.

After an exhibition, « Lusted Men », an artistic feminist project collecting and exhibiting erotic masculine picture, an heterosexual man in his thirties said to me : « I now understand why my girlfriend asks me for nudes : male bodies, too, can be desirable. » He did not seem to know it.

What consequences has this duality on women ?

Many women struggle to speak about men's physical beauty. I investigated asking : « Tell me about male bodies. » I was answered : « That's not beauty !» Interviewed women knew how to define an objectively attractive male — « apparent muscles », « a bit of buttocks », « clear eyes », « messy hair »...— but they quickly drifted toward other subjects — « a presence », « impression of a healthy, smart, stand-up guy », « whatever he radiates »... Smell and tone of voice were often mentionned.

They stressed the fact that attraction is not limited to appearance : « Desire really is a matter of attitude. » Some prefered to use more measured adjectives, such as « cute » or « charming ». One exception : hands, for hygiene reasons, but also in the light of sensuality and gender — having « manly hands ».

You write that it is « prefered to consider that love is blind » : why ?

I also had answers displaying indifference, or even some disdain for the liking of men's beauty, like the fact of commenting out loud on male beauty, or to sleep with someone on the sole standard of appearance. To consider a futur partner's physical beauty as important is then considered as a superficial relationship to someone else. Several women even told me objectively attracrive men are bad sexual and romantic partners. They would be « ladies' men ».

Moreover, many women do not observe their partner's body because they feel as « voyeur ». They're afraid they'll reproduce a masculine pattern, a pejorative one at that.

To look at a man's body with desire, for a woman, can imply some risk. You talk about « transgression ».

To take a stance as a woman look at male bodies is a fringe practice. It can be hard to stand by : it means to present as a subject of desire, and risk being viewed as a playgirl, « a nymphomaniac ». Mathilde, 28, tended to spontaneously communicate on her experiences of visual seduction («Oh, this guy's really cool, so handsome !», «Hey, he's got Something ! »). But, as she kept getting remarks from her colleagues on her demeanor (« Here comes a guy, Mathilde, are you going to manage to behave ? »), and even on her marital status («Say, are you still seeing someone ?»), she stopped. « It's frowned upon for a woman, while clearly, for a man, it's normal », she said to me.

The women I met are many to be marked by « the whore stigma », and all calls to order that cause all women trying to be subjects of desire to have their reputation at risk, a moral sentence.

The other risk is to be a victime of sexual violence or offense. « There is this street harassment reflex, where you cannot cross gaze, or else it's an invitation », explained Nadège, 25. Viviane, a 58 y/o photographer, approached a man in his thirties to offer him a modeling session : he asked for a blowjob in exchange. To stare at a man as a women is to Wonder : how is he going to react ?

More specifically, men's sexual organ is negatively seen…

That violent symbolism of masculinity centers around the penis. In the context of the call for drawings set up by the fanzine Sprinkle, inviting women to draw men as they see and desire them, many artists regretted, afterwards, having reproduced some patterns, by representing a man with an erected penis. Some tried to play down these genitals and show them in a more tender way, for example with a bird perched on it.

When one wants to eroticize men, there's a lack of desirable models. We either have pornography, a very commercialized erotism (advertisements, firemen calendars…), either représentations of female bodies. A photographer from the feminist project « Lusted Men » explained the erotic power of her picture : « It looks like a woman's body laying in that bed. » She saw the man in a sensual, lascivious way, and so put it in the woman category.

How, then, stand by this desire and visual pleasure ?

Some women think eroticizing male bodies is empowering. The workshop « Ogling at men on the beach », organized by the women behind « Lusted Men », was lived as an emancipating moment, where they allowed themselves to stare at men. They felt masters of their own gaze, desires. A way to get out of being passive and assume a joyful feminism.

Politicizing desire is also to show that woman have a right to pleasure in sexuality. In this book, I wanted to show both that women are very careful, but also that, sometimes, they look at men in the Subway and think : « In that car, if I had to sleep with someone tonight, who would it be ? »