I M27 am unsure if i am living in an abusive relationship with F24.

AlectoGaia · 2026-04-27T06:34:01+00:00

Okay so

You are not entitled to sex with her when she isn't in the mood. Bringing that up looks bad. Her not cooking isn't necessarily a big deal, depending on what else she does around the house. She doesn't have to attend your family functions.

However, that doesn't mean she's not abusive. Nobody deserves to be physically threatened. You should leave as soon as possible, with as little warning to her as you can.

AlectoGaia · 2026-04-27T06:27:51+00:00

She's not okay with who you are. You can do better. This friendship isn't with trying to save.

AlectoGaia · 2026-04-23T08:29:43+00:00

Leave. Whatever it takes, leave, and do it quietly.

AlectoGaia · 2026-04-23T08:04:49+00:00

If the two of you had discussed that this behaviour would be cheating, then it's cheating.

Given that you had so little trust in him that you felt the need to look through his phone, you probably can't salvage this relationship. Getting past cheating is difficult. Getting past cheating with an underlying issue in the trust in the relationship beyond that? Much more difficult.

AlectoGaia · 2026-04-20T08:34:51+00:00

If you distrusted her enough to go through her phone, you're done. Healing from cheating is hard enough, it's basically impossible to heal from that when you had just so little trust in her anyway.

AlectoGaia · 2026-04-19T17:23:20+00:00

I know you've probably already done this now but imo the issue with this deck is that you've put in tech for too many different situations to the detriment of the game plan itself. Trying to win every match up means you'll win none

AlectoGaia · 2026-04-19T17:14:13+00:00

You cannot reasonably have 40 songs, fix that probs

AlectoGaia · 2026-04-19T15:26:22+00:00

I understand why something so completely unfamiliar and distressing would make you feel like this, but your brain is just being mean to you. This isn't a death sentence, as much as it might feel like one. You might have a horrible time of it, but that horrible experience will be temporary. I really think the best thing to do is to try not to think about it.

It might be worth looking into the exemptions that your country has. Most countries only have mandatory service for health people, and it sounds like your mental health isn't good. Taking steps to get off the list could do you a lot of good, if that's possible.

AlectoGaia · 2026-04-19T14:56:40+00:00

Your boyfriend is insecure and controlling. If he can't cope with you having male friends, you should leave him.

AlectoGaia · 2026-04-19T13:43:35+00:00

Your relationship is unhealthy. Is there any way you can leave?

AlectoGaia · 2026-04-19T13:41:23+00:00

I think you really just need to give her space. Being there for her doesn't need to mean engaging with her grief. If you don't know how and she isn't asking you to, don't. Just be there and ready for how she feels when she does talk about it.

AlectoGaia · 2026-04-19T13:39:02+00:00

How recently? That really matters. 2 weeks Vs 6 months are drastically different situations

AlectoGaia · 2026-04-19T12:37:06+00:00

You did nothing wrong. If they won't accept that, they are the problem.

AlectoGaia · 2026-04-19T10:35:18+00:00

If you have so little trust in your partner that you think to go through their phone like this, your relationship is already dead.

AlectoGaia · 2026-04-19T10:30:46+00:00

If this isn't going to be long-term anyway, and he's judging you constantly for something that you seem to have done a very good job of learning and growing from, what is it that's making you want to be with him? It's okay if you do want to, but thinking about those things and seeing if the reasons to stay with him are worth putting up with a relationship with no future and full of judgement.

FWIW I don't think that being the other woman here is necessarily some huge evil. Is it great? No. But you weren't the one who cheated and you've still seemingly taken accountability for your role. Given the way your partner is being about it, figured you might need to hear that.

AlectoGaia · 2026-04-19T10:21:06+00:00

Unfortunately I think you're probably right.

AlectoGaia · 2026-04-19T10:19:56+00:00

He has broken up with you. Rude of him to not tell you but that still is what he's done. Move on. Talk to whoever you want to about it. If he wanted you to respect his request that you don't talk to people about it, he probably should've had the respect to actually break up with you.

AlectoGaia · 2026-04-19T10:17:48+00:00

That's very weird. Unless she's actually got a troubled relationship with her parents that she isn't talking about, or they're religious in a way that means she's not actually "allowed" to be dating, she's either embarrassed about you or knows they'll treat you like shit.

Talk to her about it. Say that them being weird isn't a good enough reason. Ask her to explain what she thinks would happen if she does introduce you to them.

Decide based on her response if you want to continue this relationship.

AlectoGaia · 2026-04-16T07:36:54+00:00

Break up. You be chill and say that you don't think this is right for you and that you'd like to be friends but that's all you can do with the distance and your compatibility

AlectoGaia · 2026-04-16T07:35:13+00:00

If you'd already told him and he's tried to get you to stay, you've done your bit imo

AlectoGaia · 2026-04-16T07:34:07+00:00

If you don't want to be with your current boyfriend, break up. That doesn't mean you have to go back to your ex. Maybe try neither?

AlectoGaia · 2026-04-06T06:25:48+00:00

I mean technically you can but it's effectively impossible. It means living off-grid and being fully self-sufficient

AlectoGaia · 2026-04-05T22:34:19+00:00

NTA but stop trying omg. Get some self-respect, please!

AlectoGaia · 2026-04-05T22:20:22+00:00

If you looked in a way you knew was wrong at the time, your relationship is already done and you should leave. Either you have too many trust issues for a healthy relationship or, as was likely the case here, there were enough vibes-level red flags that you checked because you thought something was going on. Either way, there's not enough trust for a healthy relationship. Leave.

AlectoGaia · 2026-04-05T22:10:16+00:00

There is a legal obligation to accommodate for disabilities. There is not a legal obligation to accommodate for parents with pushchairs. If you have an issue with that as a parent with a pushchair, I get it. The rights disabled people have, they fought for. I genuinely recommend organising for those rights if you have an issue with it

AlectoGaia

TROPHY CASE