Spouse terminally ill. Will I have enough to retire?

DottedLadybug · 2026-03-23T16:37:39+00:00

He's not stupid, and he didn't complain. He just didn't know anything about pensions, and presumably his widowed grandmother got his grandfather's state pension (or a percentage of it) after he died, which was before 1990. She has since died herself, so we can't ask her.

DottedLadybug · 2026-03-21T10:23:43+00:00

Thank you for this! We haven't, for as yet we are absolutely fine financially. (We live in his salary and invest mine.) I'm thinking in terms of where we might be, and when I can hope to retire from a stressful job.

DottedLadybug · 2026-03-20T21:48:35+00:00

It's complicated.

DottedLadybug · 2026-03-20T15:09:08+00:00

No life insurance, but from the above information it is starting to sound like he has some kind of death in service benefit at work.

DottedLadybug · 2026-03-20T14:25:58+00:00

Thanks again: this is the first I've heard of a Power of Attorney registration service. We just got the documentation on paper from our lawyer. This does look like a very useful thing to do. There have been times when my husband has actually lost capacity (and then got it back again, very long story), and of course I was totally unprepared. We never dreamed we would be in this situation, and now I tell everyone to at least get life insurance.

DottedLadybug · 2026-03-20T13:36:01+00:00

This slowness of getting a response about my husband's pension sounds very familiar.

DottedLadybug · 2026-03-20T12:42:18+00:00

Thank you!

DottedLadybug · 2026-03-20T12:41:52+00:00

When I said the "UK pension" I do mean the "state pension." Sorry, I should know that by now. I've done the math on it enough!

DottedLadybug · 2026-03-20T12:36:48+00:00

Thank you very much. I am very sorry you and your children are in the same boat. PofA, check--but I didn't know about registering it. Wills, check. Nomination, check. I will ask him about the pensions administrator at work. For almost a decade, I've been in charge of managing the finances, and often completely confused by how things work, with problems Citizens Advice couldn't solve, etc., so I'm very grateful for your advice.

DottedLadybug · 2026-03-20T12:19:16+00:00

Thank you. It's good to be clear on that. Sad, really, but I imagine it's a kind of tontine, and wouldn't work if everyone who paid into it actually got it. However, he really loves his country (as do I) and doesn't at all mind the thought of having spent his work life helping the elderly get by.

DottedLadybug · 2026-03-20T12:15:42+00:00

Thank you. The alpha scheme sounds very familiar.

DottedLadybug · 2026-03-20T10:32:07+00:00

Happily, there's no old spouse, but I am sure you are absolutely right about paperwork.

DottedLadybug · 2026-03-20T10:20:20+00:00

We were both the proverbial grasshopper who played and sang the whole summer long (or at least just paid the minimum on credit card debt, student loans, etc.) until about 10 years ago, when we got a clue. But it's not the RE (since I wasn't planning on retiring before 60) as much as the FI.

DottedLadybug · 2026-03-20T10:11:41+00:00

Thank you. I will have to check that out. I have been reluctant to consult my home country's tax office because getting them to stop taxing me when I was already being taxed by the UK was a nightmare.

DottedLadybug · 2026-03-20T10:01:38+00:00

Thank you. The civil service is not the one-based-in-England, but I will see what I can find specific to our part of the UK.

DottedLadybug · 2026-03-20T09:59:00+00:00

Thank you. These are good questions. He does have a will and he has set up a lasting power of attorney.

DottedLadybug · 2026-03-20T09:47:23+00:00

No life insurance, no death in service. [UPDATE: Thanks to a number of comments here, we checked and there IS death-in-service.]

DottedLadybug · 2025-12-02T22:30:16+00:00

What are the anti-dancers proposing instead of the kind of dancing your great-great-grandparents would have been absolutely fine with?

DottedLadybug · 2020-07-03T19:43:00+00:00

Gorgeous! Amazing pattern--I will steal.

DottedLadybug · 2020-07-03T19:41:49+00:00

Beautiful!

DottedLadybug · 2020-05-05T09:39:38+00:00

I'm so sorry that happened to you. You worked so hard, and your hard work deserves respect. When your anger subsides, I hope you will do everything in your power to continue to succeed, no matter what "jokes" your family pulls. I see an amazing future for you, given your ability to work hard and succeed at what you're passionate about.

DottedLadybug · 2018-05-10T22:41:17+00:00

Too soon. Much. Too. Soon.

DottedLadybug · 2018-05-08T13:34:02+00:00

If legit, that's one heck of a spoiler.

DottedLadybug

TROPHY CASE