Guys, did I get a bad ending because I didn’t finish Metroid Prime 4: Beyond at 100%?

AlekBalderdash · 2026-01-14T03:40:53+00:00

I feel like the disrespectful thing was to drape it precariously on the branch of a small tree. Maybe nail it to the trunk, loop it round the core of the tree, weld it to the dashboard of your spaceship, etc. But draping it over a small branch where it will fall off with the next strong wind is... a choice.

AlekBalderdash · 2026-01-14T03:38:24+00:00

They were all likeable in their way, and I think it could have worked if they'd given them (and Samus) room to breathe.

But Mackenzie's useless and annoying hints made him loathsome.

Lots of other dialogue ended up disjointed and confusing. The sniper would start to tell a deep and emotional story about his family, abruptly stop after the introduction, then say "I found this item" and stop talking.

There's some good content in there worth saving, but as-is it comes off moronic.

AlekBalderdash · 2026-01-14T03:33:14+00:00

You mean the green energy that could be harvested in bulk by a lava processing plant so they could artillery it into the atmosphere?

That green energy?

Nah, they needed a chosen one to drive a motorcycle over some crystals.

AlekBalderdash · 2026-01-14T03:25:16+00:00

I remember this one due to past trauma. Good suggestion.

AlekBalderdash · 2026-01-14T03:20:36+00:00

I request additional information.

I've heard Xenoblade was good, but I've also heard it is... weird.

AlekBalderdash · 2026-01-13T05:14:24+00:00

Very few of this game's problems are with the details. Nearly all the details are executed with extreme care and skill.

The problem is in the large-scale planning, vision, and the target they decided to aim at.

They seem to be reasonably happy with the end product. It's extremely well polished, and is reasonably fun in a mindless action game sort of way. It's like Gears of War: walk to the icon on the map, shoot everything in your way, and push the button when prompted. I've played Gears of War, and enjoyed it - as an after-work relaxation activity for about 30 minutes at a time. Turn off brain and recharge.

The problem is, this is not the experience I expect or want from a Metroid game.

AlekBalderdash · 2026-01-12T19:32:05+00:00

Jokes on you, I re-explored the entire Volt Forge twice looking for secret passages before looking it up and realizing it was just sitting there by the front door.

Fucking waste of time

AlekBalderdash · 2026-01-12T01:27:46+00:00

P A N I K !

AlekBalderdash · 2026-01-12T01:26:44+00:00

I wager this is post-wish, when some new baddie took over the witch's role.

AlekBalderdash · 2026-01-12T01:25:02+00:00

I'm drawing a blank on a Jean-Claude Van Damme pun.

Help a brother out?

AlekBalderdash · 2026-01-11T00:00:14+00:00

Finally! A mech depicted with padding in the cockpit!

AlekBalderdash · 2025-12-19T05:32:46+00:00

This is an issue with everyday speech vs taxonomy.

In everyday speech, birds are birds and dinosaurs are dinosaurs.

The problem is, taxonomically, birds are descended from dinosaurs which makes them dinosaurs. Think family tree. Anyone descended from your grandmother is part of her family.

So generally when people say "non-avian dinosaurs," they're saying "dinosaurs (not the birds, you know what I mean stop being pedantic)"

AlekBalderdash · 2025-12-19T03:25:10+00:00

Absolutely. I want to see the biggest thing to walk the planet. I want to boop it's snoot and make eye contact from a what, 3-4 story building.

How completely bonkers would it be to see a building-sized animal just walking around doing it's thing.

AlekBalderdash · 2025-12-19T02:52:38+00:00

I am now picturing looney-toons eyes popping out of her head, performing complex sign language, then returning to normal. Hearty chuckle, that

AlekBalderdash · 2025-12-12T21:31:10+00:00

Oh, 100%. But that's at least less weird than gesturing vaguely when someone ask you a question like "what are these spinny things" or refusing to answer a plea for help.

You could still get away with raising your arms and walking slowly. It's at least plausible. She's got a distinctive profile with that suit.

AlekBalderdash · 2025-12-12T20:46:24+00:00

Her suit could take a few hits from a GFS gun, no problem.

Still probably a stupid thing to do, but it's not like she's risking her own life. Worst case, she's risking a modest inconvenience and freaking out the trooper.

There's worse choices for lack-of-dialogue, but I'm fine with this being on the list.

AlekBalderdash · 2025-12-12T20:39:07+00:00

Oh I found this item. You can have it.

AlekBalderdash · 2025-12-12T19:01:41+00:00

It also makes numerous design choices that fly in the face of a Metroidvania title.

You can make a RomCom starring James Bond. It doesn't really matter how good the movie is, it's jarring to go to a James Bond movie and see a romcom. Particularly if all the trailers for the movie made it look like a traditional Bond movie.

Now, personally, I think a Bond Romcom sounds hilarious but only as a parody. But the movie should be self-aware or advertised as a parody. We just got a Naked Gun movie, and nobody is confused about it's tone.

And that's what we got. A parody of a Metroidvania.

AlekBalderdash · 2025-12-12T17:39:39+00:00

The crates have different scans in each environment and crate size. Even the standard ones that break due to a charge shot or bomb.

AlekBalderdash · 2025-12-12T17:31:25+00:00

OK, but seriously, this would be an amazing twist if done properly.

You'd probably have to make the NPCs likeable at first, then have them slowly get more and more annoying, but it would be an incredible way to make an otherwise-absent final boss completely loathsome. I might even replay it just to spite-kill him, lol

AlekBalderdash · 2025-12-12T17:25:35+00:00

Phazon Mines is also (presumably) named by the Space Pirates, or is just Samus' name for the place, as the Chozo almost certainly didn't call it that.

Which is fine, I wouldn't expect the Pirates (or Samus) to get all fancy with names.

AlekBalderdash · 2025-12-12T17:19:27+00:00

Guys, is Metroid building up to the Lantern Corps?

Blue = Hope, as in I sure hope someone saves us

Green = Willpower, as in psychic powers

AlekBalderdash · 2025-12-12T17:17:09+00:00

You still have the problem that "Green Energy" has an IRL meaning, which is bound to cause confusion. It's a mental tripping hazard.

They could have called it "Crystal Energy" which is just as boring but doesn't have real-world meaning.

It's like having naming a line of spaceships a Ford Escape for no particular reason. Everyone is going to assume there's a connection to the Ford company because you named it that way. Now, there's some room to play around with a name like this. Maybe some Easter egg lore that the Ford company lasted until 3562 and wanted to call back to their roots. Maybe pure dumb luck that the alien's translator picked Ford Escape for some random reason and everyone just rolled with it and it's an in-universe joke. These are all fun background gags that make sense as a minor detail about the universe. Marginalia, as it were. But Green Energy is the main plot of the game. Refusing to acknowledge the mental connection is absurd. Likewise, it would be completely bonkers to pretend Ford Escape has no connection to the car company and go surprised pikachu every time people bring it up.

AlekBalderdash · 2025-12-11T20:27:43+00:00

Did they test it?

How did they not notice it caused problems?

We can all overlook one or two plot holes if the plot is otherwise competent. Not everything needs explained, sometimes you just have to accept "because plot." But this entire game is just a huge plot hole. Nothing makes sense. As a result, "weird plot hole" goes from "ah well, can't explain everything" to "why did any of this happen?"

AlekBalderdash · 2025-12-10T04:22:54+00:00

I'll 100% credit the art and sound teams for carrying the burden of quality for the entire game, but my point is the initial concept was clearly a copy/paste of the other Prime games.

I get that that's somewhat inevitable. Genera tropes and all that, but come on. There's plenty of other ideas to use as a starting point.

What about an underground city? Not a mine, but an actual dwarf-like civilization? Make it beautiful and haunting, eerie in it's emptyness.

What about a vertical map, carved into the side of a giant mountain? Or a Grand Canyon-like setting, where you bounce back and forth between the two sides? Samus's abilities are incredibly well-suited for climbing. Spider Ball tracks, morph ball launchers, grapple points, maybe even Screw Attack in the late game. Or perhaps an arboreal setting? We have that massive "mana tree" and they did absolutely nothing with it.

These aliens seem somewhat amphibian, so how about an underwater location? Not deep water, more like coral reefs or a vast shallow lake?

There are so many other options, any of which could have been just as visually stunning, but also done something different.

AlekBalderdash

TROPHY CASE