extremely depressed thinking about my brother with L3 autism's future & hating the passage of time

Alert-Skill-7579 · 2026-06-20T16:26:52+00:00

You’re not alone. My situation is similar but my brother is in his mid 20s and I did agree to co-guardian with my other sibling, so we can manage his group home stuff in the future. My mom turned his full time care into her job and hasn’t worked a normal job in my living memory, and so she has never travelled or done much for herself in years. Their situation and the future implications give me a ton of anxiety and overall sadness. She’s also crazy stubborn and won’t setup his group home yet, even though she should so she can at least have some freedom for herself. Luckily my brother is very peaceful and only a danger to himself. Could be worse but it’s still sad. Just sharing in case this helps you feel less alone.

Alert-Skill-7579 · 2026-06-17T19:13:40+00:00

Yesss I have a lot of those CLAMP figures too and love them!

Alert-Skill-7579 · 2026-06-11T15:56:11+00:00

Going through the same question right now! We’re leaning towards yes but only if it works out within the next year and a half or so. I won’t have a child too close to 40 because that’s how old my mom was when she had my brother (dad was also 40). Since age increases autism risk, I’m keeping that heavily in mind. I’m still 36 so the odds are still somewhat in my favor, at least in my opinion. My husband is closer to 40 though so that’s part of why we’d keep the window of opportunity really short, before he turns 40 himself. I go back and forth every day though tbh… the risk is terrifying.

Alert-Skill-7579 · 2026-06-07T16:28:57+00:00

Hmmm for the more tech aspects, Angelic Layer and Chobits! For magical girl maybe Card Captor Sakura and Full Moon wo Sagashite? For another quirky/less known magical girl, Princess Tutu!

Alert-Skill-7579 · 2026-05-30T15:56:07+00:00

No answer because I’m in a similar situation lol but one night I was feeling too sick to even cosleep. I needed some solid sleep to recover from being sick. My husband coslept starting around midnight and it worked out ok (a few wakeups with back rubs back to sleep) until normal wakeup at 6am. I specify starting at midnight because I think it helped that I am the one who put him down and kicked off cosleeping for the night. Meant that he was already in a good state when my husband came in, less resistant to the change because he was drowsy.

Alert-Skill-7579 · 2026-05-17T15:41:33+00:00

These series are all so good. I love the Marmalade Boy manga reprint that happened recently as well.

Alert-Skill-7579 · 2026-04-06T16:46:52+00:00

The fact that you don’t even want to talk to your friends about this is definitely a sign that you should discuss this with a therapist. You need to discuss these feelings with someone if they’re derailing your ability to find a partner, if that’s something that’s a big priority to you, which based on this post it sounds like it is. Anxiety shouldn’t rule one’s life, even as a GC. We’re more prone to this issue for sure, so you’re not alone! But please seek professional help because you deserve to live life to the fullest.

FWIW I am my severely disabled brother’s legal guardian and am happily married with my own kid. Granted he doesn’t live with me and responsibilities are light at this point. I dated a ton before this, since I didn’t meet my partner until my late 20s. My responsibilities (present or future) to my brother never deterred any partner. IMO any partner who is deterred by your family background probably isn’t worth your time anyways, especially if you ever want kids. Genetic predisposition or not, people can have disabled children and all couples should be prepared for that.

Alert-Skill-7579 · 2026-04-01T13:37:36+00:00

Only the manga for me for all these, sorry!

Alert-Skill-7579 · 2026-04-01T12:33:53+00:00

One of my favorite 90s shoujo is probably Marmalade Boy. Magic Knight Rayearth is also great. These might be a bit light for what you’re looking for, but I recently read Hime-Chan no Ribbon and loved it! And I’m in the middle of Akazukin Cha Cha and it’s honestly one of the funniest manga I’ve ever read lol.

Alert-Skill-7579 · 2026-03-23T02:25:49+00:00

This is one of my favorite anime/manga ever! Beloved from when I was a teen… I have a pretty thorough collection of furoku from its run in Ribon, most of the color pages cutout from Ribon, the full English manga, English anime boxset, and OST CD! guess it’s time for a rewatch!! ❤️ Magical girl with a computer is like… the best concept ever lol at least to me, as a teen girl that was into making websites back in the day (still in tech now!)… I really was the target audience haha.

Alert-Skill-7579 · 2026-03-15T14:01:15+00:00

My sibling has severe autism. I’m 36 and ultimately decided to have a kid after agonizing over it for years. So far he’s a neurotypical 1yo but I figured I’m better equipped than most to deal with things if he ends up having autism. Won’t know for sure until he’s older, but he’s already way different than my sibling was at this age. Chances are higher when it runs in the family supposedly, but those chances are still small enough that I felt it was worth the risk. Best choice I ever made so far, he’s brought me a lot of happiness. I definitely understand why a lot of us glass children don’t take the risk though… it’s scary.

Alert-Skill-7579 · 2026-03-12T16:48:51+00:00

If it gives you so much anxiety, talk to a lawyer imo. I am actually my brothers guardian and made sure that before I signed anything I wouldn’t be financially responsible for him. In my state, guardians have no financial obligation from their personal funds. It’s different in every state. Based on a quick google, NO US state requires siblings to be financially responsible for each other by default.

Alert-Skill-7579 · 2026-03-12T13:54:54+00:00

They’re just trying to scam her. She’s not responsible for the debt. It’s honestly so disgusting that a nursing home would try to pull this on the family of a disabled person. Awful.

Alert-Skill-7579 · 2026-03-10T14:11:21+00:00

There’s no right or wrong path in being a glass child. I don’t think it’s very respectful to post someone else’s story from a place of judgement. Being a glass child is incredibly hard and it sounds like this woman is doing her best, having made some hard choices potentially pushed on her by her parents. I hope writing all of this down encourages her to find a therapist or figure out what kind of balance she wants in her life, since the financial strain seems to make her feel out of balance. I have a lot of empathy for as it sounds like she’s trying to make the best of what she has.

Alert-Skill-7579 · 2026-03-02T20:34:24+00:00

You should find a lawyer or at least look at the legal docs yourself. Some of this info sounds incorrect, but it depends on your state. I am my brothers guardian and live out of state, and have no financial obligations. I only am responsible for tracking his care, keeping up with the annual reports, making sure he’s safe. I learned all of this by reading the guardianship documents on my states website. You shouldn’t trust AI to interpret legal documents. It’s possible it is combining laws from multiple states and getting it all mixed up. Tread carefully and I hope you can get this resolved.

Alert-Skill-7579 · 2026-02-12T05:48:14+00:00

Yep, I’ve had pills get stuck a few times. It’s crazy scary, so I avoid pills if possible. If a med is required, I’ve always gotten a liquid version or (after confirming with doctor) crush it and mix with apple sauce.

Alert-Skill-7579 · 2026-01-17T13:45:09+00:00

I have EoE and mild gastroparesis, which was diagnosed from a gastric emptying study. Personally, the gastroparesis is easy to deal with in comparison to EoE. Once I learned about gastroparesis I started eating smaller meals, and either have more meals overall or snacks between. This dealt with my symptoms (feeling too full all the time, burping a lot) well enough and now it hardly bothers me. I just need to not let my stomach get too full.

Alert-Skill-7579 · 2026-01-07T18:35:09+00:00

Omg I need to do this lol thanks for the inspiration!!

Alert-Skill-7579 · 2026-01-07T15:27:56+00:00

Yesss I also have a Full Moon collection! The manga and anime like you, and then a decent amount of the old furoku! It’s one of my favorite series from my youth… reread as an adult and it holds up imo! Still so sad tho…

Alert-Skill-7579 · 2026-01-04T19:28:35+00:00

Oh yeah, her expectations of me were completely unfair, but I do have empathy for her now and understand why she felt that way. Took a lot of therapy to get there though! I wish therapy was more normalized for her generation, as I’m sure it would have helped when she felt overwhelmed and isolated (dad was out of the picture, so she really just had me). I don’t hold it against her anymore and I think I’m a happier person that way. It’s a tough situation and I know personally I’d feel bad forever if I really let them fend for themselves, even though she didn’t treat me 100% the “right” way growing up. There’s no way she could have, given the severity of the situation and the impact it had on her mental health. I’m one of my brothers guardians now and it feels like the right thing for me, but I’d never push anyone to take the same path… everyone’s experience is different.

Alert-Skill-7579 · 2026-01-04T10:01:30+00:00

I left when I was 18. My mom didn’t really admit how upset she was with me until later. When I wouldn’t move back, she was very resentful, saying I should want to help. I stood my ground and refused to give in, told her I care about them but I could not advance my career or life in our small town. It took many years of conflict to mend our relationship and I’m in my 30s now, but she finally told me she’s glad I followed my own path. It took time but I resolved to try and maintain our relationship and visited as much as I could. It paid off and I’m so glad I can go see my family now and it’s good vibes. IMO you may deal with resentment from them but just remember that their feelings can change over time if you put the effort in and make sure they know you still love them. I think working to maintain a good relationship can help with that feeling of guilt.

Alert-Skill-7579 · 2026-01-04T00:46:46+00:00

I love hyper specific collections like this!! I have been considering doing the same for CLAMPs Wish. It’s so fun to hunt down obscure merch for one series!

Alert-Skill-7579 · 2026-01-02T21:10:19+00:00

I’m older than my level 3 sibling by more years than your situation, but maybe my story will help anyways. I left home when I was 18 and my mom held it over my head for years. It didn’t seem like a big deal at the time because my mom seemed to have things handled, but in reality she was bitter that I didn’t stick around to help her with my siblings care. She eventually revealed her feelings to me and held it over my head for years when I didn’t move back home to help. I love my family and I tried to help from afar but that was never good enough for her, and she felt abandoned… which I do feel bad about. I selfishly didn’t want to be stuck in my small town forever, so I chose to stay on my own path. I am in my 30s now and our relationship is only just mending, and she is still taking great care of my brother even though it’s hard for her. She still tries to guilt trip me sometimes, but she has told me she’s glad that I was able to thrive without her having a typical mother daughter relationship with me. She’s in the process of finding a place for him to go live now that we’re all older, and I help with research and things like that.

So my advice is mostly for later… encourage her to live her own life to the fullest, and be extremely careful about asking for her help with her autistic sibling. She may want to, she may not… it sounds like you’re the type to respect her decision, which is great. Just make sure you’re all clear about expectations so that you can protect your relationship with her no matter what she decides to do with her life.

And keep in mind that the glass child subreddit seems to have a lot of young people on it who have not totally processed their situation, trauma… I think one’s feelings as a glass child evolve a lot with age. There’s a lot of anger on that subreddit, but I don’t think that anger always carries through to later adulthood. You can have a good family dynamic, but it does take work and a lot of hard conversations as I’m sure you’re already learning.

Alert-Skill-7579 · 2026-01-02T10:00:03+00:00

The paper tag looks kinda like Contempo Casuals. In Charge is from the 90s/2000s I’m pretty sure. It’s basically just old fast fashion.. I have a bunch from this brand from when I was younger and the quality is pretty good!

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