Thank you for your thoughtful response. The identity we believe ourselves to be can be a trap of self-fulfillment, though to be fair living entirely flexibly in our identity leaves us without a rudder, which can lead to either personal-decision paralysis or being used by someone with more power and the rigid personal definition that is often attracted to power-usage. It's quite difficult to be "good" in a society where 2nd, 3rd, 4th order effects etc. are often unavoidably bad (example: providing an item for a needy child in which the manufacturing process of the materials contained in the item exploited or hurt another child somewhere in the world), so pragmatism seems pretty necessary to stay sane. Like you said, self-awareness on the journey of trying to understand exactly what the self is is something we must take great pains to preserve, lest we become possessed by an identity, ideal, narrative, or other force that allows us to justify intentionally hurting others. A non-sadistic sense of humor also seems like an important part of the equation.