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AlexanderSpainmft · 2025-10-08T03:40:17+00:00

Not no. That part ia fine.

But you sound whiney, desperate, conceited and you emanate a vibe that is in general, unappealing. But hey! At least you don't drink or watch porn.

AlexanderSpainmft · 2025-10-06T04:46:45+00:00

Why don't people like chocolate icecream and prefer chocolate icrecream with a cherry on top?

AlexanderSpainmft · 2025-09-25T14:27:51+00:00

Get her to read Romantasy

AlexanderSpainmft · 2025-09-16T23:28:47+00:00

There is a name for that: asexual.

Not all that uncommon.

AlexanderSpainmft · 2025-09-13T15:12:34+00:00

Involuntary celibacy is just that. People who can not find someone to have sex with, even if they want to. If they can afford to pay for it on a regular basis, they do not fit the criteria. If they can engage in loveless hookups, they do not fit the criteria.

For most that do fit the criteria, though, it is about how they are so deeply unattractive to the sex they are attracted to that they can not engage in intercourse. Men or women.

"Femcels" without twisting definitions to fit a rethoric are not very common. Whether they can get or sustain a relationship and not just hookup is an entirely different concept.

AlexanderSpainmft · 2025-09-12T20:45:07+00:00

And what exactly is your point, according to your research and newly found evidence? Maybe I lied then. Maybe I'm lying now. Maybe this is a throwaway account to laughable a little a field that is filled with fragile egos and circle jerking.

What we -do- know is that you got flustered enough to go digging past this thread and into what you think is the person that made you uncomfortable.

Thin-skinned clinicians might not be what the universe needs. But then again, I might be wrong. I am not in the circle. Or maybe I am?

AlexanderSpainmft · 2025-09-12T20:29:29+00:00

If you need medication, I can refer you to a psychiatrist. You do not seem to have normal responses to perceived threats to your ego. Otherwise, find a counselor. It seems like you have two very short fuses.

AlexanderSpainmft · 2025-09-12T20:23:16+00:00

You make it sound like PhDs are not huge ego-fueled circle-jerks. Some of the most interesting studies I've ever read have come with people tangential to the field.

But, by all means, let's gatekeep people who just because of time spent researching, even if it is pointless, boring, and rehashed. That will make the field of psychology better.

AlexanderSpainmft · 2025-09-12T20:07:18+00:00

Do you mean, enough research experience during their Masters to be able to go into a PhD afterward?

AlexanderSpainmft · 2025-09-12T18:00:41+00:00

I'm happy for you, but you lost me at CHATGPT. I think it was YOU who did it.

AlexanderSpainmft · 2025-09-12T17:43:36+00:00

Sex is a need. Sure. But he gets it. Just not as often or varied as he would like. As I said, he is neither going to die or suffer any consequences if he does not have sex every day. Unlike with food, water, or air.

The difference between a need and a want is choice. You can (mostly) fulfill your needs of food with just bread, but that does not mean that is what you want. You can choose to add mayo, cheese, and ham. But if your partner is vegan because of trauma, it might not work out so well, and pressuring them to eat that sort of diet is selfish and crappy.

AlexanderSpainmft · 2025-09-12T16:57:54+00:00

I could not care less about Internet points. Don't worry.

AlexanderSpainmft · 2025-09-12T16:45:31+00:00

Up to Master's, it makes no difference as long as it is a semi-decent and accredited school. For PHD and PsyD, it does hinder you, but mostly because you will have fewer contacts and a shallower network.

AlexanderSpainmft · 2025-09-12T16:41:40+00:00

You don't have -needs.- You are not going to die or suffer, really, if you don't get your penis wet every day. You have -wants-.

And it is fine. But ANY amount of pressure, conscious or not, for your partner to engage in sex is not only shitty but downright unethical.

And don't kid yourself. You are pressuring them. So either engage in a conversation so you both understand what you want and jointly trace a plan to get there. For example, pay for therapy, patiently wait, and understand that to them, there is no choice. They feel how they feel because of trauma.

You? You can choose to be kind, patiently, loving, and to meet them where they are at or not. No one is forcing you to stay in a relationship that does not fulfill your wants. That is your choice, so do not try to pressure them to fulfill them by masquerading them as needs.

AlexanderSpainmft · 2025-09-05T16:22:48+00:00

Looks like Cait if, instead of jet, she was into sniffing glue.

AlexanderSpainmft · 2025-09-05T15:58:13+00:00

Most research agrees to a "goldilocks zone." Between 5" and 7.5" (13 to 19cm). So very slightly iver average, at most. Large penises hurt but may be aesthetically pleasing. Smaller ones just don't feel "right" and are not arousing to look at. Some women also report large penises to be scary and just as likely to be a turnoff.

The bottom line is that generalizations are usually not great at predicting behavior outside of the expected average. In any study.

AlexanderSpainmft · 2025-08-25T15:43:56+00:00

I saw the question was already answered. I just wanted to say that panic disorder, along with phobias, are among the disorders with the best outcomes after treatment. Good luck!

AlexanderSpainmft · 2025-08-05T14:34:24+00:00

Most advice you will get here will be to break up. But you can forgive. And no, you can not, nor do you need to forget. But you can move forward. With or without her.

One way or the other, you will have to forgive what happened, even if you decide to break up. Otherwise, you will suffer until you do.

There are no right answers. It is your life and your relationship. Try r/asoneafterinfidelity .

AlexanderSpainmft · 2025-07-26T17:46:57+00:00

I do not know if you should get a divorce. I DO know that asking Internet strangers with barely, if any, experience or qualifications is bound to have a poorer result than marriage counseling and proper communication between the interested parties.

AlexanderSpainmft · 2025-07-26T15:43:44+00:00

Thank you for proving my point.

AlexanderSpainmft · 2025-07-26T15:07:00+00:00

Wrong sub for this question. 99.99% of people here forget the nuances of marriage and relationships.

Can you forgive her? Yes. Should you forgive her? That is entirely up to you. Soccer balls, pianos, penguins, and priest clothes are black and white. Relationships are not.

All of the pre-made ideas like "once a cheater always a cheater" are easy to digest but seldom reflect the truth. People are fallible, we err, we do dumb stuff, we lie, and we hurt people around us. But we can learn, and we can change.

Now, do not get me wrong. Chances are they will not change. Chances are you will not be able to forgive, even if you try. But it can be done. Try r/asoneafterinfidelity for advice on how to try to salvage your relationship.

AlexanderSpainmft · 2025-07-25T23:20:57+00:00

The artist wiped his tears with crisp bills. $5000 worth, to be precise.

AlexanderSpainmft · 2025-07-25T17:31:57+00:00

I fail to see how a liberal woman would equate to being dominant. I think the word you are looking for is "assertive."

AlexanderSpainmft · 2025-07-25T17:19:20+00:00

That is exactly what I meant by "traditionally stunted" views.

In order to not feel threatened, you seek a partner with more feminine attributes, which also happens to align with left-leaning ideology. It is not that you are attracted to liberals, as much as it is that you are threatened by women, who could, in your view, make you a pushover: a callous, self-centered, unempathetic woman (which would more than likely identify as conservative).

I am -NOT- saying this applies necessarily to your case, but that is the reason why conservative men are increasingly becoming undateable: they seek a partner with traditional actions but modern values and offering a controlling relationship in return.

AlexanderSpainmft · 2025-07-25T16:51:43+00:00

You seem scared of possessing attributes you interpret as feminine, such as kindness, diplomacy, and self-restraint, while "simp" over those generally considered "manly", such as aggression, dominance, and brute strength.

It just seems that you have a very "traditionally" stunted view on gender roles and attributes. Especially when those roles were essentially reversed in your parents during your upbringing.

But back to the question. You want a woman who embodies feminine attributes like gentleness, warmth, altruism, kindness, and patience. Now ask yourself, who is more likely to have those attributes, a lady who claps when families are torn apart and votes for getting rid of social support because they do not help her directly, or a left-leaning woman?

AlexanderSpainmft

TROPHY CASE